DaveTwoCombs's definitions

metrosexual

a wussy scenester who metaphorically emasculates himself in terms of fashion. Think pink t-shirts, highlights, mullets, coloured charity wristbands (though those seem unfashionable now), very white trainers, distressed jeans and that narcicisstic snow patrol song that whinges on about "if i lay here". Expect the same guys to be very ashamed in a few years' time and readily embrace a pretentious masculine fad that will no doubt erupt in frustration at this current, nauseatingly effiminate trend.

metrosexuals seem to think that females are attracted to femininity... in men

by davetwocombs May 13, 2007

icecream man

mobile icecream salesman that hibernates during winter, though has some confused awakenings off-peak. a tacky chime breaks the eery silence that seems to preceed his visit. more adults than kids run to the van seeking a 99 and a gumball, or any kind of icecream with a chocolate flake, sprinkles, and red or green syrup.

a mysterious figure to adult and child alike, the icecream man is never seen in bodily entirity. filthy looking hands and you note not to eat the cone, but you do because it's dripping. almost certainly has big hairy arms and an aged, smudged tatoo of a swift on the back of his hand - are they all the same guy, like santa clause? do they belong to a not so secret or subtle guild? are they all striving to look like throwbacks from 1983 with their Chuckle Brothers/pub darts player from Swindon appearance, like Uncle Rico from Napolean Dynamite?

Who knows? by the time you've considerered all these things, your icecream will have melted and he'll have recklessly reversed and sped off in his yellow disney/supermario/pokemon adorned van with 'MIND THAT CHILD' on the back.

are tatoos of swifts obligatory for an icecream man?

by davetwocombs May 14, 2007

i am not a plastic bag

pretentious eco shopping bag that's meant for shallow scenesters who wish to publicly flout their trendy 'green' credentials in a hypocritical, peacockish manner. Expect them to be quietly discarded when they are no longer considered 'cool'.

If all those scenesters and upmarket chavs care so much about the environment rather than appearing fashionable, why don't they just buy less showy, cheaper, nondescript cotton/canvas bags instead of bidding hundreds on ebay for that faddish 'i am not a plastic bag' bag?

by davetwocombs May 14, 2007

ditty mao

Vietnamese for:

"Hurry up and play Russian Roulette, American filth; I've got bundles of my dirty, cheap-looking money riding on you catching a .38 this time, and if you don't I'll throw you back into your rat-infested river hold, pronto!"

...well, apparently according to the movie 'The Deer Hunter'.

Charlie: "Ditty Mao"
Chris Walken: *sobs, hesitates*
Charlie: "Ditty Mao!" *slaps*
De Niro: "oooohhhh Micky, just do it Mickeyyyy. There are 5 empty chambers!"
Charlie: "MAO!" *SLAPS*
Walken: *sobs, hesitates, CLICK!, sobs*

*etc... until escape is facilitated by the use of 3 bullets; De Niro's feigned insanity; and the cruel, badly-toothed guards' extreme stupidity. BANG BANG BANG!*

by davetwocombs January 9, 2008

chillax

dude relax, chillout; chillax

aw man do i have to write an example? i'd rather chillax

by davetwocombs May 13, 2007

squarcle

one who is neither an uptight, humourless square nor too laid back (circle), but has a balance of both fun to be with and responsible.

my friend's too much of a square, whilst i take things too easy... if i could have his work ethic, and he my lightheartedness, we'd both be squarcles

by davetwocombs May 14, 2007

twizzle

1. A Starbucks sweet consisting of 3 chocolate-coated marshmallows on the end of a stick.

2. A piece of poo suspended on the end of a stick, resembling said delicacy.

When I was a wee boy I remember other kids picking up twizzles for bravado.

by DaveTwoCombs November 1, 2007