Urban Dictionary: Definitions by Dave-Landon

Electronic paperweight

1. When your phone is in a place where it doesn't have service.

2. When your phone has been cut off due to lack-of-phone-bill-pay

1.
Guy 1: Dude, want to go camping?
Guy 2: Sure, but I'm not bringing my cell phone
Guy 1: Why not, bro?
Guy 2: The lake is a dead zone... My phone is an electronic paperweight up there

2.
Guy 1: Brosef, I tried calling you yesterday but it went straight to voicemail... Turn your phone on!
Guy 2: It is on, but I forgot to pay my phone bill. My phone's an electronic paperweight right now

by Dave-Landon October 11, 2011

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Drooling Cheerios

Completely and utterly retarded; incompetent.

Moooooom! I'm trying to read and she's drooling Cheerios on me! Moooooom! She's drooling Cheerios!

"Dude, have you met the new guy yet?"
"Yeah, he says portioning nachos is complicated.... He's drooling Cheerios"

by Dave-Landon November 6, 2011

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crunchy bernard

When you buttfuck someone, pull out, let their shit harden on your dick, then they give you a blowjob

Hey man, did you see the girl I went home with last night? I gave her a Crunchy Bernard

by Dave-Landon March 23, 2019

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Mental Rash

The raw mental state created from repeated exposure to unfavorable conditions, as often happens when you dislike your job.
Also, the unfavorable condition itself that causes such a state.

I'm so glad I quit my job today, it's been leaving me with a severe mental rash.
or
I hate my job so much. It's nothing but a mental rash

by Dave-Landon October 23, 2016

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Indian job interview

When an employer, quite often East Indian, accepts an applicant for a job interview by asking him to come in for a trial shift to see if he's worth hiring.

"Hey man, congrats on the new job!"
"Thanks, but I don't have the job yet, just an Indian job interview"

by Dave-Landon October 19, 2015

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