Definitions by Dave Davidson

Kieran 

An absolute waste of oxygen, a humour vampire who is the human equivalent of a turkey sandwich. If you are on cloud nine, he’s on cloud ten. He’ll remind you frequently how vanilla he is and will get a shit tattoo saying #wild. You would fuck his mum though

I’m going to paint my hallway Kieran, the beigest of beige

Kieran by Dave Davidson March 19, 2022

penson 

Has sex with children. Sometimes for money. This is because he is too fucking ugly and retarded to get women his own age.

See cradle snatcher

Hi little children, come to see me at the swings, and we'll have "sweets"

penson by Dave Davidson April 26, 2005

Cardboard face 

one that has such an orange face from spending so much time on sunbeds, that their face is like cardboard

kanoute: hello dave
dave: you've been on that sunbed again, haven't you, you're turning into a cardboaard face

Cardboard face by Dave davidson February 4, 2005

foul 

'Foul' can also be used as a positive adjective.

e.g.'Those trainers are totally foul, dude', meaning 'Those trainers are really rather cool'.

foul by Dave Davidson December 26, 2003

tamfcop 

Stoner slang for 'There's a mother fucking change of plan'.

'When are we going to the pub?'
- 'Tamfcop, I can't be arsed. Roll another blunt'.

tamfcop by Dave Davidson December 26, 2003

barrymore 

Came from the stoner underworld. When one of your comrades is staring into space and you want to ask him, 'What are you thinking about/What was teh last thought which went through your mind?', save time (and don't let them forget) by using this word instead.

(Friend staring into space)
'Barrymore'
- 'Doh. I was just thinking about how, because our fastest possible reaction time is 1/30s, we're therefore always living in the past, and then maybe this is all a flashback and I'm actually already dead twenty years in the future.'
- 'Oh.'

barrymore by Dave Davidson December 26, 2003