Dashiell

Me

Hi, I'm Dashiell.

by DashiellShatter April 25, 2023

Draem

A confusing as hell dream.

I have to be draeming, right?

by DashiellShatter April 24, 2023

Condom Turtle

A visible erection through the condom.

I leaned over, in an attempt to hide my condom turtle.

by DashiellShatter May 30, 2023

Eggplant Motorcycle

When you try to fuck someone but miss and they throw you out of bed into Poland

I can't believe it! I tried to fuck my wife and she hit me with the eggplant motorcycle!

by DashiellShatter April 25, 2023

Summit Bottle

A bottle filled with boring and monotonous shit

You collect toenails? That's one big Summit Bottle.

by DashiellShatter April 21, 2023

Wallpaper Dad

A father who likes licking the white powder off of the wallpaper.

Person 1: Hey, can I come over to your house?
Person 2: No, I need to take my wallpaper dad to the hospital.

by DashiellShatter May 30, 2023

Logan

Simultaneously a noob and seasoned veteran at life

Oh shit, is that Logan? Oh God, oh fuck no, tell my family I love them!
(Gets torn in half)

by DashiellShatter April 24, 2023