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Darker's definitions

Johnny Deeper

Johnny Deeper is a fictional young boy who appears in a number of sexually explicit anecdotes referred to as "Johnny Deeper Jokes". These stories are passed around elementary school age males, and may to many represent first exposure to sexually themed humor.

Most stories center around the character Johnny Deeper fornicating with teachers or being vulgar in the classroom; hence the series enduring popularity with the age group. Some jokes are very simple and play only off Johnny's surname, while others, far more complex, just represent Johnny as a vulgar, but ultimately innocent and loveable elementary school student.
Little Johnny Deeper's mother comes home and catches him on his girlfriend and yells, "Johnny Deeper" and Johnny replies "Gee Mom, I'm in as deep as I can go".
by Darker August 11, 2010
mugGet the Johnny Deepermug.

manhack

Derived from the video game "Half Life 2" a "manhack" is a small flying drone armed with three sharp blades that would chase the main character, Gordon Freeman, around during the early levels of the game. This term has been adapted in recent years to describe any AI or remote controlled roto-craft such as helicopter or quadrocopter that is out of human control.
::Two guys in a field::
Guy 1 : So I just got the new firmware uploaded to my co-pilot chip lets try it out.
Guy 2 : Shouldn't you test that out with the engine control unit unplugged?
Guy 1: Fuck you guy.
::1 minute later ::

Guy 1 : Ahhhh manhack!
by Darker November 29, 2010
mugGet the manhackmug.

Bipolar Betty

She's fat. She's crazy. She's legally bipolar. She is a "Bipolar Betty". "Bipolar Betty" is a term that can used to describe any of the countless number of fat insane girls that a person has to deal with at work or at school. Typically, your local Bipolar Betty will be found either making an inordinate amount of noise or sobbing loudly. She will have NO emotional middle ground. It's either all on ON or all OFF. She will also be huge. We're talking not just a plumper, but the full pork pie. Interact with at your own risk.
Barry : Dude you've gotta see this fucking retard we got working the help desk, she's a real fucking Bipolar Betty.

Winfield : You mean legally?

Barry : Hundred percent dude she got this job on an anti-discrimination beef.

Winfield : Dude that fucking sucks. I had a Bipolar Better two years ago in R&D and if she hadn't OD'ed on Aspirin we'd probably be the next division to getting canned. I mean individually she brought the whole workplace down. People who loved this job were leaving at 4:30 just to get away from her. It's just one of those things you know ... God shit on that person.

Barry : Funny that you mention God.

Winfield : Why?

Barry : She's a Mormon this week.

Winfield : Ha. Joseph Smith didn't see this one coming magical seeing stones my ass.
by Darker April 28, 2010
mugGet the Bipolar Bettymug.

furious mastrabation

An act of self-pleasure intended purely for the function of dealing with cronic stress. In many cases; this form of masturbation is grossly satirized with descriptions of men grinding their teeth, audibly growling, and exhibiting a pulsating forehead vein.
Larry : Dude writing my thesis fucking sucks. I'm going to fucking kill myself.

Barry : Dude ... take it easy man you know ... go home ... have a sandwich.

Larry : We are fucking beyond sandwiches here.

Barry : Have you tried furious mastrabation?

Larry : Furious masturbation?

Barry : Masturbating FURIOUSLY, just grabbing that little purple soldier and choking the fucking life out of him while you sit and think about how much your life fucking sucks.

Larry : You’re a genius Barry. I now understand why that bruise on your temple has never healed.
by Darker January 21, 2010
mugGet the furious mastrabationmug.

Ghetto Black Friday Sale

A "ghetto black Friday sale" describes any home robbery that takes place in the days immediately following the Black Friday shopping extravaganza. It is assumed that homes are targeted during this time due to an increased chance of new electronics being present in the house, and a general interest by local burglars in sharing in the holiday shopping tradition.
Kevin : So there was a ghetto black Friday sale at my house yesterday.
Dave : You mean some black people broke into your house and stole your family's stuff?
Kevin : Pretty much.
by Darker December 1, 2010
mugGet the Ghetto Black Friday Salemug.

Fat Chick Aggression

In the annuals of recorded history known as the Facebook news-feed one will typically notice several girls on you friend list using the "status update" feature to bitch about their lives. All women tend to complain, but in a case of specific fat chick aggression syndrome the complaints will have a typically "sharp edge", and will go beyond any of the normal bounds of conversation. For example, a normal case of female bullshit could involve a young gentleman or a failed exam, but unique to fat chick aggression is the consistent update of mental, social, and physical failure along with an implicit request for support. True sufferers should fire off one of these posts at least twice weekly.
These are examples of Facebook status updates where the term "Fat Chick Aggression" could be a good descriptor.

Amanda : My friend said that if your going to jump off a bridge set yourself on fire so we can all see it. I'm jumping off my bridge.

Shiloh : My dad once told me I failed to live up to his expectations.

Amber : My parents called me today. I don't think they understand ....

Kate : I can't believe how shitty life is. I just watched "The View", and there was someone on there basically saying that people with manic depression should just "suck it up". After watching the other lady on there I think I'm bipolar too. That guy was such a jerk!!!
by Darker June 9, 2011
mugGet the Fat Chick Aggressionmug.

fairy tale divorce

A fairy tale divorce is something that a man and woman both might hear about from their friends, and to each the term has a fundamentally different connotation. To a male, a fairy tale divorce implies an escape from a marriage with only minor fiscal, physical, and emotional losses. To a female, a fairy tale divorce means that ex-hubbie decided that a good divorce lawyer was a luxury he could not afford.
Charlie : So Rich are how did it work out with the lawyers?

Richard : She got the house, but I got the car and the camp.

Charlie : You know you got off pretty lucky on this one.

Richard : Yeah, I can't deny it fuckin' fairy tale divorce as far as I'm concerned.

Charlie : She let you off pretty easy for all that screwing around.

Richard : Yep, stupid and big tits that's what I married her for. Hopefully, she finds a nice rich dude who enjoys watching desparate housewives and listening to her talk about the joys of teaching 3rd grade.
by Darker August 10, 2010
mugGet the fairy tale divorcemug.

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