Dan Jewell's definitions

pork squid

the act of sticking ones finger up an unsuspecting butthole

While re-tying her shoes, Kaela was pleasently surprised by a pork squid served sunny side up.

by Dan Jewell October 13, 2003

busticle

Not quite a testicle, yet not quite busting a nut

What the hell is a busticle?

by Dan Jewell October 24, 2003

lupid

As Humpty Hump said in "The Humpty Dance", "I use a word that don't mean nothin', like lupid" The verb "lupid" actually means to smoke marijuana and drink excessive alcohol.

After a night of over indulgence of drink and herb Jim said,
"Yo Dan, last night I was so lupid I rode moped"
Dan replied, "You mean you rode a stupid scooter"
Jim said, "Na man, I humped a fat chick"

by Dan Jewell March 17, 2005

Vaginercise

To excercise the vaginal muscles, much like Kegal excercises, in order to de-loosify the yeast pouch.

After two months of grueling Vaginercises, Kelli's pussy was as tight as a butthole.

by Dan Jewell March 24, 2005

clam the johnny

When a female partner has clammy or "sweat soaked hands" and gives you a hand job.

After Michel reached into Dan's pants, Dan looked Michel dead in the eye and said, "Yo, wash your hands first, I didn't think you were going to clam the johnny."

by Dan Jewell March 30, 2005

Rectal Thermometer

The act of sticking a digit into your female partners anus, while engaging in intercourse, in order to gauge that womans boundries or limitations concerning further action, up the old dirt road.

Clint: "Yo Dan, why you got a black eye man?"
Dan: "Yo, Michel socked me in the eye-face after I gave her a Rectal Thremometer. I guess I won't find out how pink her sock is."
Clint: "Awe fo' real doh?"
Dan: "Naw, billdo."

by Dan Jewell February 24, 2005

slim bavis

A drink not unlike a martini made w/ only the finest cordials.

Hand me another slim bavis, ha ha ha!!!

by Dan Jewell October 4, 2003