Dan Jewell's definitions

moped

To hump a fat chick, out of desperation, fun or just straight being lupid.
Usually preceded by "riding a..."

My stupid friend Jim, always talks about two things, riding mopeds and playing with his elbia, which usually will impress a fat chick into the sex.

by Dan Jewell March 17, 2005

pork squid

the act of sticking ones finger up an unsuspecting butthole

While re-tying her shoes, Kaela was pleasently surprised by a pork squid served sunny side up.

by Dan Jewell October 13, 2003

Luke, I am your father

The climax to a certain situation. Usaully preceded by the "Luke..."

1. In the Movie "Friday", the "Luke, I am your father" is when, Craig whoops Deebo's ass. Yeaahh!!!

2. The "Luke I am your father" of slim bavis's life, was giving the rectal thermometer to his favorite moped.

by Dan Jewell March 22, 2005

e-farm

A virtual farm on the internet. E-Corn, E-Squash, E-Cabbage, E-Lettuce, E-Corn, and E-Tomatoes are readily produced here.

Tired of frequenting the local grocery store, Dan Scianna decided the time was right to make the big switch to E-Farms, where he could purchase E-Corn, E-Squash, E-Cabbage, E-Lettuce, E-Corn, and E-Tomatoes.

by Dan Jewell March 19, 2005

Rectal Thermometer

The act of sticking a digit into your female partners anus, while engaging in intercourse, in order to gauge that womans boundries or limitations concerning further action, up the old dirt road.

Clint: "Yo Dan, why you got a black eye man?"
Dan: "Yo, Michel socked me in the eye-face after I gave her a Rectal Thremometer. I guess I won't find out how pink her sock is."
Clint: "Awe fo' real doh?"
Dan: "Naw, billdo."

by Dan Jewell February 24, 2005

slim bavis

A drink not unlike a martini made w/ only the finest cordials.

Hand me another slim bavis, ha ha ha!!!

by Dan Jewell October 4, 2003

clam the johnny

When a female partner has clammy or "sweat soaked hands" and gives you a hand job.

After Michel reached into Dan's pants, Dan looked Michel dead in the eye and said, "Yo, wash your hands first, I didn't think you were going to clam the johnny."

by Dan Jewell March 30, 2005