Dan Jewell's definitions

clam the johnny

When a female partner has clammy or "sweat soaked hands" and gives you a hand job.

After Michel reached into Dan's pants, Dan looked Michel dead in the eye and said, "Yo, wash your hands first, I didn't think you were going to clam the johnny."

by Dan Jewell March 30, 2005

take a shot in the mouth

To act like, or say that you indeed like or love the band Nickelback in order to bed a hottie of the opposite sex.

Slim: "Yo Dan, you see that fine piece of ass over there with the Nickelback shirt on."
Dan: "Yeah, I'd take a shot in the mouth in order to give her the rectal thermometer.

by Dan Jewell April 11, 2005

Scianna

A large pickle, approximately seventeen to twenty-two inches in length

Wow, that's the largest scianna I've ever seen, do you have more where that came from.

by Dan Jewell October 4, 2003

Rectal Thermometer

The act of sticking a digit into your female partners anus, while engaging in intercourse, in order to gauge that womans boundries or limitations concerning further action, up the old dirt road.

Clint: "Yo Dan, why you got a black eye man?"
Dan: "Yo, Michel socked me in the eye-face after I gave her a Rectal Thremometer. I guess I won't find out how pink her sock is."
Clint: "Awe fo' real doh?"
Dan: "Naw, billdo."

by Dan Jewell February 24, 2005

slim bavis

A drink not unlike a martini made w/ only the finest cordials.

Hand me another slim bavis, ha ha ha!!!

by Dan Jewell October 4, 2003

Luke, I am your father

The climax to a certain situation. Usaully preceded by the "Luke..."

1. In the Movie "Friday", the "Luke, I am your father" is when, Craig whoops Deebo's ass. Yeaahh!!!

2. The "Luke I am your father" of slim bavis's life, was giving the rectal thermometer to his favorite moped.

by Dan Jewell March 22, 2005

lupid

As Humpty Hump said in "The Humpty Dance", "I use a word that don't mean nothin', like lupid" The verb "lupid" actually means to smoke marijuana and drink excessive alcohol.

After a night of over indulgence of drink and herb Jim said,
"Yo Dan, last night I was so lupid I rode moped"
Dan replied, "You mean you rode a stupid scooter"
Jim said, "Na man, I humped a fat chick"

by Dan Jewell March 17, 2005