Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions
The young men got his bicycle and assumed a Mormon Missionary Position. He left the house with man gravy all over his chin.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 12, 2008
Get the Mormon Missionary Position mug.A member of one of several hundred Christian denominations who all agree that the the Bible is the literal word of God, but don't agree with each other. See fundamentalist, fucktard
Q. What religion are you, Reformed Baptist?
A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.
A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006
Get the Baptist mug.Britney left in a hurry, neglecting to put on her Magic Underwear. As she exited the limo, the paparazzi exposed her to ClaMedia, causing an epidemic of Mormon Crotch at BYU.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008
Get the ClaMedia mug.1. To masturbate while thinking about the Rapture, Mark of the Beast, Great Whore of Babylon, etc.
2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
1. As Rick Santorum stood in the shower thinking about the Rapture his hands moved slowly downward and he began to Rapturebate. He imagined finally being able to tap the Jesus Hole. Yes he knew the Lord was coming soon. Yes coming. coming soon, coming soon...
2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 13, 2011
Get the rapturebate mug.An exaggerated or falsified account of sexual activity, usually involving an alleged conquest by the story teller.
Her undeserved reputation as a slut was the result of countless fucktitious stories repeated in the locker room.
by Cuntoleezza Rice January 16, 2007
Get the fucktitious mug.A "new friend" found while cruising for sex in a public men's room. The new friend will perform a special sex act (a blumpkin) without even making the recipient get off the toilet.
Repugnican Senator Larry Craig sat down on the crapper and assumed his usual wide stance. He moved his foot toward the next stall thinking the guy next door might want a blowjob while he was taking a dump. He soon realized the guy was an undercover cop, not a blumpkindred spirit.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 28, 2007
Get the blumpkindred spirit mug.Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012
Get the Santorum Colada mug.