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Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

iPad

A sanitary pad that contains an embedded MP3 player.
Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009
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colostofuck

1. Sexual penetration of someones colostomy site. In rare cases this can be a masturbatory act, depending on the location of the colostomy opening. See sidewinder, ostitute, stomalingus, philly sidecar, clorch

2. A despicable disgusting person. See colostomy bag, gutbag, cobag, assbag
1. I always wanted to throw a good colostofuck into Jerry Falwell. Now that he's dead though a necro-colostofuck seems a bit much.

2. Jerry Falwell was a pompous self-righteous fat colostofuck.
by Cuntoleezza Rice June 7, 2007
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Santorum Colada

A frothy tropical drink made with rum, pineapple chunks and santorum.
Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:

3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*

Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.

*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012
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John Hagee

A Fundamentalist Christian evangelist fucktard and supporter of presidential candidate John McCain. Like Baptist preacher Fred Phelch, Hagee believes hurricane Katrina was caused by God’s wrath about gays in New Orleans. Hagee also called Catholic Church the Great Whore of the Apocalypse, although we all know they’re just a fraternity of kid diddlers.
John Hagee wouldn’t know what a great whore was if he was sitting on her face.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008
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gradutate

To blow chunks at one's graduation, usually from consuming too much alcohol prior to the event.
It was quite a graduation regurgitation. The valedictorian gradutated all over the stage.
by Cuntoleezza Rice January 31, 2007
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Holy Water

The water that flows from a priest's butthole after an enema.
Father Pedofuck called to the altar boy "Come here son and help me make some Holy Water."
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2007
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cuntraband

Illicit items concealed in the vagina.
The drug-sniffing dog continued to sniff the woman's crotch, revealing the cuntraband.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006
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