Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

prostitoad

An unusually fat and ugly hooker.

Wow! You mean Miss Thing is a prostitoad? I'm surprised she can GIVE it away.

by Cuntoleezza Rice January 31, 2007

Baptist

A member of one of several hundred Christian denominations who all agree that the the Bible is the literal word of God, but don't agree with each other. See fundamentalist, fucktard

Q. What religion are you, Reformed Baptist?
A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

John Hagee

A Fundamentalist Christian evangelist fucktard and supporter of presidential candidate John McCain. Like Baptist preacher Fred Phelch, Hagee believes hurricane Katrina was caused by God’s wrath about gays in New Orleans. Hagee also called Catholic Church the Great Whore of the Apocalypse, although we all know they’re just a fraternity of kid diddlers.

John Hagee wouldn’t know what a great whore was if he was sitting on her face.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008

blumpkindred spirit

A "new friend" found while cruising for sex in a public men's room. The new friend will perform a special sex act (a blumpkin) without even making the recipient get off the toilet.

Repugnican Senator Larry Craig sat down on the crapper and assumed his usual wide stance. He moved his foot toward the next stall thinking the guy next door might want a blowjob while he was taking a dump. He soon realized the guy was an undercover cop, not a blumpkindred spirit.

by Cuntoleezza Rice October 28, 2007

fucktitious

An exaggerated or falsified account of sexual activity, usually involving an alleged conquest by the story teller.

Her undeserved reputation as a slut was the result of countless fucktitious stories repeated in the locker room.

by Cuntoleezza Rice January 16, 2007

rapturebate

1. To masturbate while thinking about the Rapture, Mark of the Beast, Great Whore of Babylon, etc.

2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.

1. As Rick Santorum stood in the shower thinking about the Rapture his hands moved slowly downward and he began to Rapturebate. He imagined finally being able to tap the Jesus Hole. Yes he knew the Lord was coming soon. Yes coming. coming soon, coming soon...

2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 13, 2011

Holy Water

The water that flows from a priest's butthole after an enema.

Father Pedofuck called to the altar boy "Come here son and help me make some Holy Water."

by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2007