Britney left in a hurry, neglecting to put on her Magic Underwear. As she exited the limo, the paparazzi exposed her to ClaMedia, causing an epidemic of Mormon Crotch at BYU.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008

A member of one of several hundred Christian denominations who all agree that the the Bible is the literal word of God, but don't agree with each other. See fundamentalist, fucktard
Q. What religion are you, Reformed Baptist?
A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.
A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009

Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*
Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.
*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
by Cuntoleezza Rice September 05, 2012

1. Sexual penetration of someones colostomy site. In rare cases this can be a masturbatory act, depending on the location of the colostomy opening. See sidewinder, ostitute, stomalingus, philly sidecar, clorch
2. A despicable disgusting person. See colostomy bag, gutbag, cobag, assbag
2. A despicable disgusting person. See colostomy bag, gutbag, cobag, assbag
1. I always wanted to throw a good colostofuck into Jerry Falwell. Now that he's dead though a necro-colostofuck seems a bit much.
2. Jerry Falwell was a pompous self-righteous fat colostofuck.
2. Jerry Falwell was a pompous self-righteous fat colostofuck.
by Cuntoleezza Rice June 07, 2007

From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

The young men got his bicycle and assumed a Mormon Missionary Position. He left the house with man gravy all over his chin.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 12, 2008
