The white trash high school dropout father of Sarah Palin's out-of-wedlock grandchild. Mr. Johnston is currently estranged from Palin's daughter Bristol Palin and is negotiating a photo shoot to display his weiner on Playgirl.com.
I asked Bristol Palin what she every saw in Levi Johnston. She replied "well, mainly his Moose Meat. He has a really big one, you know. Just wait until you see it on Playgirl.com."
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 07, 2009

Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009

1. She inserted the dildo into her vagina and twaddled off to work.
2. She's so preoccupied she must be twaddling.
2. She's so preoccupied she must be twaddling.
by Cuntoleezza Rice February 04, 2007

A "new friend" found while cruising for sex in a public men's room. The new friend will perform a special sex act (a blumpkin) without even making the recipient get off the toilet.
Repugnican Senator Larry Craig sat down on the crapper and assumed his usual wide stance. He moved his foot toward the next stall thinking the guy next door might want a blowjob while he was taking a dump. He soon realized the guy was an undercover cop, not a blumpkindred spirit.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 28, 2007

1. To masturbate while thinking about the Rapture, Mark of the Beast, Great Whore of Babylon, etc.
2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
1. As Rick Santorum stood in the shower thinking about the Rapture his hands moved slowly downward and he began to Rapturebate. He imagined finally being able to tap the Jesus Hole. Yes he knew the Lord was coming soon. Yes coming. coming soon, coming soon...
2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 13, 2011

An exaggerated or falsified account of sexual activity, usually involving an alleged conquest by the story teller.
Her undeserved reputation as a slut was the result of countless fucktitious stories repeated in the locker room.
by Cuntoleezza Rice January 16, 2007

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006
