Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

Captain Poopypants

A female astronaut who traveled 950 miles wearing a diaper to attack the "other woman" in a love triangle.

CAPTAIN: Keep your hands off him bitch!
VICTIM: Yuck, what's that smell? You must be Captain Poopypants.

by Cuntoleezza Rice February 10, 2007

Jesus Hole

1. The hole in Jesus' side or hand when used for sexual pleasure. See crucifuck.
2. Texas Governor Rick Perry's nickname for his Prison Wallet.

Rick Santorum was so horny he was obsessed with getting him some Jesus Hole (a crucifuck). Unfortunately, Jesus had been MIA for 2000 years and Santorum had to go off to the bathhouse for some pussy on a stick. Having left his Mormon Panty Liners at home he left with a Mormon Trail of santorum in his Mormon Underwear.

by Cuntoleezza Rice August 25, 2011

John Hagee

A Fundamentalist Christian evangelist fucktard and supporter of presidential candidate John McCain. Like Baptist preacher Fred Phelch, Hagee believes hurricane Katrina was caused by God’s wrath about gays in New Orleans. Hagee also called Catholic Church the Great Whore of the Apocalypse, although we all know they’re just a fraternity of kid diddlers.

John Hagee wouldn’t know what a great whore was if he was sitting on her face.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008

enemasity

A punitive or antagonistic attitude while administering an enema.

As she stroked the anal probe the hefty nurse commented that she was "only doing her job." Her enemasity hoever, was apparent.

by Cuntoleezza Rice January 18, 2007

fornicaterer

A party planner who provides both food and sexual favors for the guests.

Q. Whio was that pimp at your party?

A. That was no pimp, that was my fornicaterer, you tardbaby. He was serving whors d'oeuvres and quiche. In addition he could also proved an excellent crucifuck or colostofuck or set you up with a skilled Abominatrix.

Everyone in his stable is carefully screened. There’s not a prostitoad in the bunch and you won’t have to hide your valuables in your prison wallet or treat them as cuntraband. You’ll remain ClaMedia-free.

Now twaddle on home and play with your cunteloupe

by Cuntoleezza Rice April 18, 2010

Mormon Missionary Position

A position one assumes while having sex (in any position) with a Mormon Missionary.

The young men got his bicycle and assumed a Mormon Missionary Position. He left the house with man gravy all over his chin.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 12, 2008

Baptist

A member of one of several hundred Christian denominations who all agree that the the Bible is the literal word of God, but don't agree with each other. See fundamentalist, fucktard

Q. What religion are you, Reformed Baptist?
A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006