Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

cunteloupe

A melon used as a masturbatory device. See melonball.

The man gravy inside revealed that the watermelon had been used as a cunteloupe.

by Cuntoleezza Rice January 19, 2007

Levi Johnston

The white trash high school dropout father of Sarah Palin's out-of-wedlock grandchild. Mr. Johnston is currently estranged from Palin's daughter Bristol Palin and is negotiating a photo shoot to display his weiner on Playgirl.com.

I asked Bristol Palin what she every saw in Levi Johnston. She replied "well, mainly his Moose Meat. He has a really big one, you know. Just wait until you see it on Playgirl.com."

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 7, 2009

prostitoad

An unusually fat and ugly hooker.

Wow! You mean Miss Thing is a prostitoad? I'm surprised she can GIVE it away.

by Cuntoleezza Rice January 31, 2007

cuntraband

Illicit items concealed in the vagina.

The drug-sniffing dog continued to sniff the woman's crotch, revealing the cuntraband.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

Mormon Missionary Position

A position one assumes while having sex (in any position) with a Mormon Missionary.

The young men got his bicycle and assumed a Mormon Missionary Position. He left the house with man gravy all over his chin.

by Cuntoleezza Rice May 12, 2008

Santorum Colada

A frothy tropical drink made with rum, pineapple chunks and santorum.

Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:

3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*

Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.

*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.

by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012

Baptist

A member of one of several hundred Christian denominations who all agree that the the Bible is the literal word of God, but don't agree with each other. See fundamentalist, fucktard

Q. What religion are you, Reformed Baptist?
A. No, they're going to Hell(tm). I'm a Sovergn Grace Baptist.

by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006