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Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

ClaMedia

Having one's clam exposed in the media.
Britney left in a hurry, neglecting to put on her Magic Underwear. As she exited the limo, the paparazzi exposed her to ClaMedia, causing an epidemic of Mormon Crotch at BYU.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008
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John Hagee

A Fundamentalist Christian evangelist fucktard and supporter of presidential candidate John McCain. Like Baptist preacher Fred Phelch, Hagee believes hurricane Katrina was caused by God’s wrath about gays in New Orleans. Hagee also called Catholic Church the Great Whore of the Apocalypse, although we all know they’re just a fraternity of kid diddlers.
John Hagee wouldn’t know what a great whore was if he was sitting on her face.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008
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Great Whore

1. An especially skilled prostitute.
2. The Catholic Church as defined by fucktard Fundamentalist Christian evangelist John Hagee
John Hagee obviously doesn’t know the difference between a great whore and a bunch of kid diddlers. Maybe he should wake up and pull the straw out of Fred Phelch’s ass.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008
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Osama Bin Gettinany

A sexually frustated terrorist that nobody will fuck.
FRED PHELPS: Hey Osama! Bin Gettinany?
OSAMA BIN GETTINANY: No Fred Phelch, how 'bout a rimjob you assbreff?
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008
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Papal Smear

Any of several bodily fluids taken from the Pope to make sure all is well with the Holy Father's naughty bits. Usually collected by a Vatican Manginacologist, the samples are checked for disease and and then sent to the FBI for DNA comparison in ongoing kid diddler investigations.
A Papal Smear recently sold on eBay for $135K. No one is sure just who reached under the Pope's gown and stole her grogan.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 20, 2008
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anusthetic

A soothing mixture of cocaine and vaseline that Fred Phelps sticks up his ass before sitting on a highway cone or other large object. See Goatse.
Westboro Baptist Church pastor Fred Phelps was at a God Hates Fags rally and asked me to find him some anusthetic. Not content with a simple crucifuck or normal act of pastorbation, he had developed an urgent need to shove something very large up his poop chute.
by Cuntoleezza Rice June 4, 2008
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Santorum Colada

A frothy tropical drink made with rum, pineapple chunks and santorum.
Fred Phelps plans to serve Santorum Coladas at the Westboro Baptist Church's next Holy Communion. Here's how to make a Santorum Colada:

3 oz light rum
3 tbsp coconut cream
3 tbsp crushed pineapples
1 shot of santorum*

Put all ingredients into an electric blender with 2 cups of crushed ice. Blend at a high speed for a short length of time. Strain into a collins glass and serve with a straw to felch it down. Top with frothy santorum.

*If you don't have any santorum on hand you can fake it as follows: Combine 1/4 cup of AstroGlide in a blender with a dollop of shit. Beat to a heavy froth.
by Cuntoleezza Rice September 5, 2012
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