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Cuntoleezza Rice's definitions

Mormon Trail

A skidmark often found in Mormon Underwear. This is a very common phenomena, as Mormons are not allowed to remove their undies and eventually dig deep while scratching their ass.
Jacob tried to avoid leaving a Mormon Trail by placing Mormon Panty Liners in his buttcrack. Unfortunately he enjoyed the sensation a little too much and woke up one morning with Mormon Crotch.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 16, 2008
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Captain Poopypants

A female astronaut who traveled 950 miles wearing a diaper to attack the "other woman" in a love triangle.
CAPTAIN: Keep your hands off him bitch!
VICTIM: Yuck, what's that smell? You must be Captain Poopypants.
by Cuntoleezza Rice February 10, 2007
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Jesus Hole

1. The hole in Jesus' side or hand when used for sexual pleasure. See crucifuck.
2. Texas Governor Rick Perry's nickname for his Prison Wallet.
Rick Santorum was so horny he was obsessed with getting him some Jesus Hole (a crucifuck). Unfortunately, Jesus had been MIA for 2000 years and Santorum had to go off to the bathhouse for some pussy on a stick. Having left his Mormon Panty Liners at home he left with a Mormon Trail of santorum in his Mormon Underwear.
by Cuntoleezza Rice August 25, 2011
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Great Whore

1. An especially skilled prostitute.
2. The Catholic Church as defined by fucktard Fundamentalist Christian evangelist John Hagee
John Hagee obviously doesn’t know the difference between a great whore and a bunch of kid diddlers. Maybe he should wake up and pull the straw out of Fred Phelch’s ass.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 18, 2008
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cuntraband

Illicit items concealed in the vagina.
The drug-sniffing dog continued to sniff the woman's crotch, revealing the cuntraband.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006
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prostitoad

An unusually fat and ugly hooker.
Wow! You mean Miss Thing is a prostitoad? I'm surprised she can GIVE it away.
by Cuntoleezza Rice January 31, 2007
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Mormon Missionary Position

A position one assumes while having sex (in any position) with a Mormon Missionary.
The young men got his bicycle and assumed a Mormon Missionary Position. He left the house with man gravy all over his chin.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 12, 2008
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