An exaggerated or falsified account of sexual activity, usually involving an alleged conquest by the story teller.
Her undeserved reputation as a slut was the result of countless fucktitious stories repeated in the locker room.
by Cuntoleezza Rice January 15, 2007
1. To masturbate while thinking about the Rapture, Mark of the Beast, Great Whore of Babylon, etc.
2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
2. To diddle one's ass while imagining getting Rapture Fucked by Harold Camping.
1. As Rick Santorum stood in the shower thinking about the Rapture his hands moved slowly downward and he began to Rapturebate. He imagined finally being able to tap the Jesus Hole. Yes he knew the Lord was coming soon. Yes coming. coming soon, coming soon...
2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
2. Renowned felcher Pat Robertson stuck four fingers up his saggy old prison wallet and dreamed of his favorite fantasy Sodomy Clown, Harold Camping.
by Cuntoleezza Rice November 13, 2011
Special Holy sanitary pads used by Mormon women to protect their Mormon Underwear from "the curse". These are sometimes also used by Mormon men to avoid being embarrassed by Mormon Crotch.
1. Naomi didn't want the class to know she would be unclean for a week, so she used Mormon Panty Liners to hide the shameful stain.
2. Upon seeing his 13-year-old bride, Jeremiah immediately developed Mormon Crotch. Fortunately he had planned ahead, and taped a Mormon Panty Liner over his throbbing member prior to the wedding.
2. Upon seeing his 13-year-old bride, Jeremiah immediately developed Mormon Crotch. Fortunately he had planned ahead, and taped a Mormon Panty Liner over his throbbing member prior to the wedding.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 12, 2008
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 07, 2007
Britney left in a hurry, neglecting to put on her Magic Underwear. As she exited the limo, the paparazzi exposed her to ClaMedia, causing an epidemic of Mormon Crotch at BYU.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 17, 2008
Any of several bodily fluids taken from the Pope to make sure all is well with the Holy Father's naughty bits. Usually collected by a Vatican Manginacologist, the samples are checked for disease and and then sent to the FBI for DNA comparison in ongoing kid diddler investigations.
A Papal Smear recently sold on eBay for $135K. No one is sure just who reached under the Pope's gown and stole her grogan.
by Cuntoleezza Rice May 20, 2008
A "new friend" found while cruising for sex in a public men's room. The new friend will perform a special sex act (a blumpkin) without even making the recipient get off the toilet.
Repugnican Senator Larry Craig sat down on the crapper and assumed his usual wide stance. He moved his foot toward the next stall thinking the guy next door might want a blowjob while he was taking a dump. He soon realized the guy was an undercover cop, not a blumpkindred spirit.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 12, 2007