Definitions by Cirdellin
Spousal catfight arousal
The complicated excitement a man feels when seeing his wife (or girlfriend) in a physical altercation with another woman. The condition is heightened when there is the real possibility for intimate sensual contact between the two combatants.
"Hey come quick, Jen had it with your wife's attitude and it looks like she has Lesley pinned down. You might want to end this."
"Are you kidding?"
"Spousal catfight arousal?"
"Damn straight. I need a closer view."
"Are you kidding?"
"Spousal catfight arousal?"
"Damn straight. I need a closer view."
Spousal catfight arousal by Cirdellin December 29, 2009
Jane Krakowski Effect
Named after the Ally McBeal series actress, this is a condition in which men literally stop in their tracks when looking at a woman that is completely physically stunning and flawless. It is sometimes marked by the loss of peripheral consciousness for hours or days as the male stares transfixed, feeling no pain nor hunger nor any sense of responsibility to attend to necessary matters. In war, the use of Ms Krakowski directly, via her surrogates, or her images to immobilize the enemy is expressly forbidden under any and all of the Geneva Convention agreements.
"Whoa Jake...You zoned out dude. One minute you were fine and the next you were comatose. Was it that blonde in the blue miniskirt?"
(Still in something of a stupor) "Yeah. I think so."
"Jane Krakowski Effect huh?"
(Beside himself now) "Is she here? The real one? Where?" (Jake fades out again lost in a mental image)
"Oh the blessing and curse of having the angel Jane Krakowski and her ilk living amongst us." (Jake's friend laments)
(Still in something of a stupor) "Yeah. I think so."
"Jane Krakowski Effect huh?"
(Beside himself now) "Is she here? The real one? Where?" (Jake fades out again lost in a mental image)
"Oh the blessing and curse of having the angel Jane Krakowski and her ilk living amongst us." (Jake's friend laments)
Jane Krakowski Effect by Cirdellin December 29, 2009
Fergie Pudding
A sweet Christmas concoction that has essentially the same recipe as figgy pudding but replaces the figs with black eyed peas.
"Hey Stacy Ann Ferguson (Fergie's full name), put out more of that Fergie pudding!"
"Hey I don't put out for anybody."
"OK, sorry only it is so sweet and delicious...please?"
"That's better."
"Hey I don't put out for anybody."
"OK, sorry only it is so sweet and delicious...please?"
"That's better."
Fergie Pudding by Cirdellin December 28, 2009
Reltermrat
A trendy new concision for the pathological condition known as "Relationship Termination Rationalization". This device is used by the monogamously adverse to psychologically justify breaking up with someone without having any genuinely compelling reason for doing so.
"Why'd you break up with Jill?"
"She was way too Jedi for me."
"What the Hell does THAT even Mean? I think you're just a reltermrat"
"Shut up."
"Can I ask her out then?"
"Absolutely not!"
"She was way too Jedi for me."
"What the Hell does THAT even Mean? I think you're just a reltermrat"
"Shut up."
"Can I ask her out then?"
"Absolutely not!"
Reltermrat by Cirdellin December 28, 2009
Kirsten Dunst Syndrome
A woman who by all objective standards is quite beautiful but retains a subtle indescribable flaw that somehow undermines her overall beauty. It is also sometimes known as Miley Cyrus Syndrome.
"Dude what's wrong with you? How could you break up with Carol? She is a fox!"
"I don't know. There was something about her mouth that bugged me. I can't explain it."
(Pensive now) Yeah I think I get what you're saying now. I sort of noticed that too.
"It's like Kirsten Dunst Syndrome, I guess"
"You mean Miley Cyrus syndrome?"
"Same thing...whatever."
"I don't know. There was something about her mouth that bugged me. I can't explain it."
(Pensive now) Yeah I think I get what you're saying now. I sort of noticed that too.
"It's like Kirsten Dunst Syndrome, I guess"
"You mean Miley Cyrus syndrome?"
"Same thing...whatever."
Kirsten Dunst Syndrome by Cirdellin December 23, 2009
arousal repulsion cycling
What a man feels when he is alternately extremely attracted to a particular woman's unimaginably hot body but also completely disgusted by her unimaginably ugly face. This generally produces disorientation in the first few episodes but can sometimes later reshape sexual attraction as the ugly face becomes a fetish of sorts.
"Hey Jake, check out the smoking hot babe walking down the beach."
"That one walking away?"
"Oh yeah I am going to go meet her right now!"
(Moments later) "Hey baby. my name's Tony." (She turns around and Tony almost throws up. She walks away only to appear smoking hot again. The arousal repulsion cycling continues on like this all day long.)
"That one walking away?"
"Oh yeah I am going to go meet her right now!"
(Moments later) "Hey baby. my name's Tony." (She turns around and Tony almost throws up. She walks away only to appear smoking hot again. The arousal repulsion cycling continues on like this all day long.)
arousal repulsion cycling by cirdellin December 22, 2009
Chompophobia
The irrational fear men often feel toward outhouses. Normally it stems from the associated fear that there may be an unseen alligator or crocodile somewhere below.
"Why did Elmer have to buy one of them newfangled INDOOR toilets?"
"cause me and Clem I heard he has Chompophobia."
"I reckon that's a mighty wise choice then. I heard something peculiar rustlin' in my own outdoor facility this morning."
(Collective shiver)
"cause me and Clem I heard he has Chompophobia."
"I reckon that's a mighty wise choice then. I heard something peculiar rustlin' in my own outdoor facility this morning."
(Collective shiver)
Chompophobia by Cirdellin December 19, 2009