Chris Ord's definitions
by Chris Ord August 31, 2006
Get the crackersmug. A stray sock often found beneath the bed of a teenage boy with a strangely stiffened texture used primarily as a recepticle for masturbatory ejaculate . Use has possibly increased due to current concerns for the environment as the item is reusable unlike tissues .
Mum - Johnny , I must try another brand of fabric condition as I had to boil wash the sock i found under your bed as it was so stiff !
Johnny - ...Erm...gumph!...swamp sock
Johnny - ...Erm...gumph!...swamp sock
by chris ord June 27, 2010
Get the swamp sockmug. by Chris Ord August 31, 2006
Get the stott onmug. A greeting , mainly used by older members of the community in North East Mining communities,latterly bastardised by younger members of the community to signify the achievement of the physical act of love,when such topics are discussed in a public house etc.
by Chris Ord August 31, 2006
Get the what fettlemug. An effect of male pattern baldness,whereby the unfortunate male decides not to do the decent thing ie get the clippers out and grows the floundering folicles hoping to conceal the onset of nature by creative combing,suceeding only in an elaborate , threadbare shaping with a shiney(often sunburnt)beacon of scalp shining through for all to see.Resembling the aformentioned sex workers overused mattress.See Robin Gibb,Footballer Kenny Cunningham etc
See that Alan Shearer on Match of the Day,he's got a head like a knocking shop mattress,though his muscular pressence up front,will be sorely missed by Newcastle this season.
by chris ord August 31, 2006
Get the knocking shop mattressmug. Womens tits,refers mainly to the large English pendular variety,rather than the smaller pert European type.
by chris ord August 31, 2006
Get the hingersmug. To produce solid waste,often used to amuse workmates,or as an excuse when you are going for a number 3.
by chris ord August 31, 2006
Get the lay some cablemug.