Charlie Tang's definitions

Hand Cluck

The act of masturbation, particularly masturbation so furious that the action of one's hand causes the genitals to begin making a flapping or clapping noise.

That fat loser became so aroused watching lesbian porn that he dropped his pants in front of everyone and started making his hand cluck.

by Charlie Tang July 21, 2005

Ratchet up the Ass

1. Mass consumption of gas-causing foods in order to become more flatulent than another decidedly gassy individual within close proximity.

2. Threatening to consume gas-causing foods in order to become more flatulent.

1. After inhaling his roomate's farts for nearly an hour, Mike decided it was time to strike back. He rathcheted up the ass by devouring some jalepeno poppers and three large orders of Burger King onion rings.

2. Mike warned his roommate that if he didn't stop running into his room every five minutes and farting, he'd be forced to ratchet up the ass.

by Charlie Tang July 21, 2005

Taking a Drive-By

The act of stopping by someone's home to defecate for the sole purpose of fouling the air in said home, then leaving immediately. The smaller the home the better, as the staech is more difficult for the inhabitant(s) to escape.

I was really pissed at my friend for leaving the party last night with my date, so I stopped by his apartment today and took a drive-by.

by Charlie Tang July 22, 2005

Booty Fairy

The magical being who is responsible for all hook-ups and sexual encounters. Imagine the tooth fairy on Viagra and in a sprightly bondage outfit and you have the Booty Fairy.

Just when I thought I was going to be leaving the party alone, I was paid a timely visit by the Booty Fairy.

by Charlie Tang July 21, 2005

Mattress Test Pilot

A slut picked up for the express purpose of breaking in a new bed or mattress.

I needed to properly break in my new bed, so I went clubbing and picked up a Mattress Test Pilot.

by Charlie Tang July 21, 2005

Death dump

A bowel movement so rank, vile, and disgusting, that just the smell of it would instantly wipe out any and all life it comes in contact with, down to microscopic levels: so bad it would raise the dead from their graves, then kill them all over again. If it's possible for shit to go China Syndrome, this would be the one to do it.

Guy #1: Why was everyone running out of the restroom just now?

Guy #2: Because of me. I had a cajun sirloin and onion rings right before bed last night and it brought on a death dump this morning the likes of which God himself has never seen.

by Charlie Tang July 21, 2005