Cazaam's definitions

Asian Torture

What some Asian parents put their children through to make them extremely good at something the kid doesn't even really care about doing.

So you know that video on YouTube which says "4 Year Old Boy Plays Piano Better Than Any Master" That video is an example of Asian Torture. The kid was forced through this by his parents and he really doesn't like doing it but he has to.

by Cazaam December 21, 2014

Turbo Mode

A mode in the Opera browser which is supposed to help the browser work better on slower internet connections. Strangely it accesses blocked websites when active so you can get on thepiratebay... if that's what you want.

Firefox: I am the most efficient web browser!
Chrome: No you're not, I am.
Firefox: Then why do you use so much memory then?
Chrome: Because I run faster than you.

Opera: Hey I can get on blocked websites!

Firefox: No you can't
Opera: Just watch

10 seconds later

Opera: See? My turbo mode allows me to access websites which are blocked.

Firefox and Chrome: SHIT! I CAN'T GET ON PIRATEBAY, STUPID ISP BLOCKING!

by Cazaam October 22, 2014

Bash Cash

After getting into an accident, the victim(s) will fake symptoms more severe than they really are in order to gain more compensation for their "injuries".

A woman was discovered with what was thought to be whiplash. One witness knew that she was faking it as she was acting differently to other cases of whiplash and told the other witnesses it was just an attempt to gain "bash cash".

by Cazaam August 14, 2015

Redneck Swimming Pool

A Redneck Swimming Pool is a pool of water in the bed of a pickup truck used by rednecks to bathe in.

Toothless Joe didn't have enough money to get his own private pool so instead he filled his pickup truck with water and used it as his own private pool. In other words, he made his own Redneck Swimming Pool.

by Cazaam October 28, 2014

Chronologically Confused

What happens to people when they get frustrated and confused by bad sequel titles for a series of movies, video games etc.

The person who is affected by this will question the decisions by the companies which named the films what they did, often in an angry way. This condition can manifest in big fans of the series who are used to the numbering of their series or people who are just a bit obsessive about the ordering of items.

Joe: Hey James, what's up?
James: I can't believe what they named the new film in my favourite series, I was so used to the crisp clean ordering of the films in the franchise and now that they've just dumped this horrible title out... I'm just pissed off at them now!
Joe: What's the problem by this exactly?
James: What's the problem? WHAT'S THE PROBLEM!? The problem is that they've tarnished my favourite series of movies! Just look at these names!
Halloween
Halloween II
Halloween III Season of the Witch
Halloween 4 The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 5 The Revenge of Michael Myers

Halloween The curse of Michael Myers
Halloween H20
Halloween Resurrection
Joe: Ouch, that sucks.
James: I know right? I have every right to be chronologically confused at this shit! Why didn't they keep numbering them? WHERE DID THE FUCKING NUMBERS GO?

by Cazaam September 28, 2014

Busting one's Ass

Busting one's ass means to work extremely hard on something often to the point of losing sleep over an unfinished project.

James was making videos on YouTube about video games. Somebody else pops up and he does a similar thing (Let's just call him Christian) and he is getting tens of thousands of subscribers for what he does. James on the other hand is busting his ass out to make good content for his followers and Christian is getting more subscribers every day. Suddenly, other users point out that Christian is a cheap imitation of James and many users unsub from Christian and subscribe to James.

Christian fades away into obscurity and tries to make fake troll videos directed at James's fans. Chris becomes hated by the internet and starts to abuse his partnership and removed entire Youtube channels which criticised him.

Busting one's Ass

by Cazaam October 9, 2014

SWAG

A word so ear wrenchingly annoying that every time I hear it I either want to stab my eardrums out with a rusty screwdriver or rip their fucking voice box out so they can't say the "S**g" word anymore.

Douchebag: Hey d00d I got teh SWAG bitch! You ain't got no SWAG like me cuz I'm the SWAGmaster level 9001 mothafucka!
Me: Shut up douchebag.
Douchebag: YOLO bitch, I got teh SWAG and I know how to use mah SWAG bitch!
Me: *Proceeds to reach down the douchebag's throat and rip their voice box out.
Ah, now that he can't talk, the world is benefitting already.

by Cazaam September 25, 2014