mtvu

(Proper noun / registered trademark) Music TeleVision for Universities. Insufferable pop trash and advertisement network that relentlessly targets the college student audience. MTVU especially tries to cultivate a loyal following from the Spring-Break Party Animals and Trendy Airheads, both of whom comprise the vast majority of the college demographic these days. The whole point of MTVU is to make money, of course. By negotiating contracts to have their inane audiovisual sewage piped into college cafeterias and similar public places on campus, MTVU hopes to brainwash its captive audience into a bunch of pop-culture-crazed, money-spending zombies.

Please see a mental health professional if you are regularly exposed to MTVU at school.
After a year of exposure to MTVU, Derek gave up studying, threw away his bluegrass records and replaced them with 50 Cent, went on a month-long drunken spring break in Cancun, became a bitch for Abercrombie, started dating promiscuous airheaded cheerleaders, bought a Hummer with his parents' money, and entered the wasted brotherhood of Sigma Upsilon Kappa. In short...they won his soul.
by Carl Willis November 09, 2004
mugGet the mtvumug.

ETS

n. (Educational Testing Service) A white-collar corporate gang in Ewing, New Jersy, headed by Kurt Landgraf. They peddle the SAT and GRE assessment products on the street to vulnerable youths who don't know how to say NO. A greedy parasite that should be eliminated for the betterment of society. See also: Tollbooth on the highway of education.
Those poor students had to pony up $115 to the ETS in order to get admitted to college.

"We da ETS, we be hangin' wif da Kurt-rock, and we be all up in your shit if you don't pay us your protection, FOOL!"

Kurt, I'm gonna bring my posse up on ETS turf and get me a goddamn refund one of these days CHUMP!
by Carl Willis May 21, 2004
mugGet the ETSmug.

wendy's

n. Fast food chain which cooks up a damn tasty bowl of chili.

If you're too much of a pansy for the "traditional" recipe, you can request that your chili be served without severed human appendages.
Cashier: Hello, welcome to Wendy's, what can we get for you?

Customer: I'll have a large bowl of chili, supersize that please, and uh...can you please hold the fingers and toes in that order, ma'am?
by Carl Willis March 27, 2005
mugGet the wendy'smug.
Any alcoholic beverage, the consumption of which is supposed to clear up one's hangover from previous drinking (but will tend to have the opposite effect in reality). Origins of the phrase date back to medieval times, when hairs from a biting dog were put in the bite wound in the belief that this promoted healing.
Lloyd: What will you be drinking, sir?

Jack: Hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd.

Lloyd: Bourbon on the rocks?

Jack: That'll do it.
by Carl Willis January 07, 2006
mugGet the hair of the dog that bit memug.

creation science

n. A fundamentalist Christian outreach concept, in which the intent is to "debunk" science with the word of scripture. Its most vocal adherents are southern and mid-western U.S. evangelical protestants (see Bible Thumper.) Creation "scientists" try to convince "unsaved" people that the Earth was formed in a Creation that took place at the hands of Almighty God a few thousand years ago, and hope their evidence will convert a few of these "unsaved" people to the faith.

Some key tenets of Creation Science:

--Scientists (the real ones) are going to Hell, where they will burn forever for blasphemy of the Holy Word of God.

--"Evolution" is a scam to trick us into believing that wholesome, white Christians have common ancestry with apes and chimps and (oh no, please no...) black people! Evolution is the Devil's Theory (yes, it is just a theory).

--Hell is real, full of sulfur, and it exists in the center of the Earth. (Most persons on Earth will be summarily cast into this Lake of Fire when we pass away.)

Unfortunately, unlike real scientists, Creation Scientists face a non-existent job market. Most find work in blue-collar manufacturing jobs, or else provide for their families by huntin' sqwirls, 'coons and o-possum. Their hobbies range from watching NASCAR, to whippin' the kids, to attending Klan and CCC rallies. Prrrraise Jesus!
Question: How old is this part of the Grand Canyon?

Scientist: This formation is about five million years old, according to our best uranium-lead dating...

Creation Scientist: Them there canyon ain't no more 'n' maybe 4000 years ole,' and if you done believe otherwise, you're a Hellbound sinner, praise the Lord! Now please op'n' all yawl's Bibles to Genesis, Chapter Six and let us remind ourselves of the word of God...
by Carl Willis December 14, 2004
mugGet the creation sciencemug.

packing

Adj. (gerundive form, by ellipsis from "to pack heat") Carrying a concealed firearm.
Son, you keep away from dat nigga Rakwan, you heah me? The foo' be packin' and he might just up and cap yo trash-talkin' ass one these days!
by Carl Willis August 24, 2004
mugGet the packingmug.

pops

n. One's father.
DaLonte, whatup holmes! I saw yo pops be hustlin' crack up on Fifth and Lee, so he musta got his ass paroled or somethin'.

You gonna hafta take dat shit up wif Pops, 'cause girl, I sho-as-hell don't give a damn!
by Carl Willis April 30, 2004
mugGet the popsmug.