Skip to main content

Carl Willis's definitions

kav

adjective describing something incredibly awesome, like a double backflip
Dude! That was Kav!
by carl willis March 22, 2014
mugGet the kav mug.

turd in the punch bowl

n. A person who spoils a pleasant social situation.

This metaphor is powered by a particularly vivid contrast: the inviting sensory appeal of a festive beverage juxtaposed with the revolting suggestion of feculent contagion. Therefore, labeling someone a turd in the punch bowl is most appropriate when the individual's deleterious influence goes beyond mere faux pas or nuisance behaviors, and rises to the level of deliberate offense for its own sake. Consider that the literal act of depositing or excreting fecal matter into a communal food-service container would be sabotage.

The punch bowl and the feces connote certain additional nuances. The former is a symbol of public community, as such dispensers are frequently encountered at parties where they become a focal point for interaction. Freud famously identified feces with aggression and the possessive instinct. Thus a turd in the punch bowl suggests rage toward, and / or the urge to conquer, a community or society as a whole. Defecating into a punch bowl is a very public act, in contrast with poisoning the well or laying an upper decker, which are generally surreptitious. In particular then, to be a turd in the punch bowl is to be a willful and attention-seeking obstructor to the success of a social community.
The turd in the punch bowl was Brian, who had to go rat out our awesome senior prank idea to the principal.
by Carl Willis March 2, 2011
mugGet the turd in the punch bowl mug.

liebercrat

n. (fr. Joe Lieberman + Democrat) A closeted Republican; A neoconservative wingnut parading as a member of the Democratic Party because of political expediency. Someone who has checked all reason and responsibility at the Senate door.
Republicans and liebercrats voted last night to drop a nuclear weapon on Iran in order to "send a message" that the pursuit of nuclear weapons there was morally wrong.
by Carl Willis October 8, 2007
mugGet the liebercrat mug.

The Big Dog

Proper noun. The 42nd President of the United States, William Jefferson Clinton. This nickname speaks to Clinton's continuing political clout, reputation for deftness and skill as a politician, and vaunted ability to campaign for Democratic candidates. If you can't run with The Big Dog, you need to stay on the porch, motherfucker!
"Down in the polls, Lieberman tried to call in The Big Dog to rescue his moribund campaign against Lamont. Problem is, The Big Dog only supports Democrats."
by Carl Willis October 24, 2006
mugGet the The Big Dog mug.

amurkin

n. A resident of the United States of America. (See also "Amurka").

However, an "Amurkin" should not be confused with an "American." Persons self-identifying as "Amurkins" by their dialect tend to hail from the South or Midwest, be poorly educated, ignorant, white, xenophobic, Republican, evangelical Christianists. The backs of their necks tend toward a crimson hue. This contemptible type of individual tends to be sanctimonious without being pious, judgmental without being informed, nationalistic without being patriotic, and militaristic without having one damn whit of experience serving their country. They will also be bigoted beyond comprehension. In short, they are a serious blight upon their homeland.
The Amurkins' Oath:

On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to the sweet Baby Jesus and to my fellow Klansmen; to uphold the Jim Crow and sodomy laws; to help other Republicans at all times; to keep myself and my truck strong and manly in appearance, to keep my mind more ignorant than a gol-durned fencepost. And Lord, above all, may you keep this nation morally and sexually straight through your Guiding Hand and One True Mouthpiece...our Eternal President, George Dubya Bush. Amen.
by Carl Willis September 22, 2006
mugGet the amurkin mug.

jack in the box

n. West-coast fast food chain. Your one-stop shop for E. coli and salmonella.
I ate at Jack In The Box for lunch, and an hour later, the highly caustic diarrhea had already melted my colon.
by Carl Willis July 23, 2006
mugGet the jack in the box mug.

Shabbos

n. Saturday is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. On this day, one apparently does not work, get in a car, fucking ride in a car, pick up the phone, turn on the oven, or partake in the game of bowling, among other things.
"I told that Kraut a fuckin' thousand times I don't roll on Shabbos!" --Walter Sobchak (The Big Lebowski)
by Carl Willis July 20, 2006
mugGet the Shabbos mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email