Carl Willis's definitions

wingnut

n. An outspoken, irrational person with deeply-held, nominally conservative, political views. A person who chooses on principle to be flagrantly ignorant. A "right-wing nut".

Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Fred Phelps are examples of the wingnut element in modern America.

by Carl Willis February 18, 2006

shitless

Adj. Having an absence of faeces in one's colon, typically due to involuntary discharge of the bowels from extreme fright.

"After hearing what happened to bad little boys at Old English Preparatory Academy, William was scared shitless."

by Carl Willis November 16, 2004

the white stuff

n. (1) Cocaine, particularly the fine powder of higher purity that is preferred for snorting by the wealthy. However, it CAN sometimes refer to crack rock in the ghetto.

(2) The mixture of partially hydrogenated, synthetic, spun fats and corn sweeteners that constitutes the standard filling in an Oreo cookie.

Her friends always knew that Courtney Love had a predilection for the white stuff.



Cop: Do you have anything on you that I need to know about?

Demetrius: Naw man, we doin' it all proper this time...NAW, whatchu wanna look in there for, man...SHIT that ain'tcho bidness man...

Cop: What's this? (pulls out a sack of crack rocks.)

Demetrius: (Sigh) That's the white stuff, just a little. I'm sorry officah. I ain't never gonna...

Cop: Looks more yellow that white. Did you cook this up, Demetrius? Be honest with me now.

Demetrius: Yessah. Mostly bakin' soda an' some chalk an' some Rat-B-Gone. I'm really sorry officah. I ain't ever gonna...

Cop: (Puts "Big D" into cruiser.) Watch your head there son.

by Carl Willis August 26, 2004

the nips

n. (Can be disparaging) The Japanese.

The term's origin was in World War II, when it was often used by Americans in the context of decrying the perceived treachery, cunning, and craziness of the Japanese.

Joe: "Did you know that in Japan, you can buy a 14-year-old's used panties from a vending machine?"

Bob: "Those crazy nips."

by Carl Willis August 25, 2004

Tollbooth on the highway of education

n. Popular and well-earned nickname for the ETS (Educational Testing Service), who produces and sells the GRE and SAT assessment tests. This parasite hauls in more than $0.6 billion in student money every year from its illegal monopoly on the testing market.

Every high school and college student in the country has to throw some big cash to ETS, the tollbooth on the highway of education. If a student doesn't pay his toll, he is usually shitcanned and forced to slave away at a McJob for the rest of his life.

by Carl Willis May 21, 2004

shamrocked

Adj. Fucked; hosed; screwed. To have been dealt a low blow by someone. To be "shamrocked" is to be in very dire circumstances indeed, cf. shamrock.

(Origin: Shamrock Towing, a highly unethical company operating in the vicinity of Columbus, Ohio)

Dave talked trash to the wrong folks, and now his ass is shamrocked.

If you haven't dropped Differential Equations by the May 1 deadline, and you've flunked all the exams...all I can say is, "you're shamrocked, big fella!"

Twamley was feeling mighty shamrocked after he had to pay the towing company $45 for an illegal half-drop.

by Carl Willis April 27, 2004

jack in the box

n. West-coast fast food chain. Your one-stop shop for E. coli and salmonella.

I ate at Jack In The Box for lunch, and an hour later, the highly caustic diarrhea had already melted my colon.

by Carl Willis July 23, 2006