Cap'n Bullmoose's definitions
Pansy ass liberals wring their hands and whine about "assault rifles," which, they say, are the favorite weapon of the Crips, the Bloods, and the Pachucos. A pansy ass liberal calls any black, ugly, semiautomatic rifle an assault rifle, which is like calling any black, ugly cat a dog. To keep from getting their pansy asses kicked, many liberals say they don't want to outlaw hunting or legitimate hunting rifles. Virtually all of those liberals will agree that a Winchester 1894 .30-30 is a hunting rifle. So there you have it: A wonderful, fast-shooting, accurate rifle just right for blasting Crips, Bloods, and Pachucos in defense of your home, your family, and yourself. This is the Brooklyn Assault Rifle. Get one today and start cleaning up your neighborhood while fooling your local pansy ass liberals.
Semiautomatic rifles will shoot faster than a Brooklyn Assault Rifle. But your .30-30 is far more accurate. With practice, you can shoot a Winchester 94 with great speed and accuracy.
You'll be able to keep your Brooklyn Assault Rifle after president O'Bama, the Irish Jig, confiscates all your handguns to keep you from hurting yourself when Pachucos invade your home.
Semiautomatic rifles will shoot faster than a Brooklyn Assault Rifle. But your .30-30 is far more accurate. With practice, you can shoot a Winchester 94 with great speed and accuracy.
You'll be able to keep your Brooklyn Assault Rifle after president O'Bama, the Irish Jig, confiscates all your handguns to keep you from hurting yourself when Pachucos invade your home.
by Cap'n Bullmoose July 3, 2008
Get the Brooklyn Assault Rifle mug.The first television show with a black cast. The entrance of black entertainers into mainstream America. The television show to which all black entertainers owe a great debt of thanks. A mighty funny comedy show.
A show despised and feared by white liberal twits, who say it is racist because the Kingfish is a con artist and Andy is stupid. White liberals say that, if you watch this show, you will think that ALL black people are con artists or stupid. If you watch it, you will surely get a compulsion to put on a bedsheet and burn a cross on your neighbor's lawn. (White liberals do not say that if you watch Training Day, you will think that all black people talk toilet talk and are violent. Why not?)
A show despised and feared by white liberal twits, who say it is racist because the Kingfish is a con artist and Andy is stupid. White liberals say that, if you watch this show, you will think that ALL black people are con artists or stupid. If you watch it, you will surely get a compulsion to put on a bedsheet and burn a cross on your neighbor's lawn. (White liberals do not say that if you watch Training Day, you will think that all black people talk toilet talk and are violent. Why not?)
Hillary Clinton and John Kerry do NOT want you to watch Amos 'n' Andy, so there must be something mighty good about it.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005
Get the Amos 'n' Andy mug.A person who lives in a nice timber and stone house filled with wooden furniture, who advocates a total ban on cutting trees and mining. This person is inevitably a city-dweller, but acts as if he knows what is best for people in rural environments, especially those dependent on timber cutting or mining. This makes an environmentalist as popular as a turd in the punch bowl in rural places. An environmentalist uses liberal judges sitting in courts of law, rather than the legislative process, to shove his plans down everyone else's throat.
Recently, some environmentalists have recognized that they do not appeal to rank and file citizens of the USA. This is good news.
Compare an environmentalist with a conservationist, a person who wants to protect natural resources without trampling on everyone else's property rights. Typical conservationists are hunters, fishermen, campers, and hikers.
Recently, some environmentalists have recognized that they do not appeal to rank and file citizens of the USA. This is good news.
Compare an environmentalist with a conservationist, a person who wants to protect natural resources without trampling on everyone else's property rights. Typical conservationists are hunters, fishermen, campers, and hikers.
Environmentalists recommend turning grizzly bears loose in populated areas of Colorado. They do not advocate turning grizzly bears loose in populated areas of Massachusetts. "Not in MY back yard, they say."
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 6, 2005
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When one poofter hears another one fart, he responds, either with a fart of his own or verbally.
Rowdy Texas poofters call out "Chow Time!"
High-class poofters say, "Dinner Call!"
When one poofter hears another one fart, he responds, either with a fart of his own or verbally.
Rowdy Texas poofters call out "Chow Time!"
High-class poofters say, "Dinner Call!"
Not wanting to waste a lot of time talking, Armistead traipsed into a gay bar, lifted his leg a trifle, and blasted out a tremendous fart. The stentorian trumpet call echoed through the room and drew many approving glances.
Tex hollered "Hot damn! He's brought out the big guns!"
Lemony minced over to Armistead, bent over, and spoke sweet words to his arse:
Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
Bird thou never wert
That from Heaven, or near it,
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art.
He inhaled through his nose, loud and long, then continued,
Like a rose embowered
In its own green leaves,
By warm winds deflowered,
Till the scent it gives.
"You'll do fine," said Armistead as he took Lemony's fluttering wrist and escorted him from the bar.
Tex hollered "Hot damn! He's brought out the big guns!"
Lemony minced over to Armistead, bent over, and spoke sweet words to his arse:
Hail to thee, blithe Spirit!
Bird thou never wert
That from Heaven, or near it,
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art.
He inhaled through his nose, loud and long, then continued,
Like a rose embowered
In its own green leaves,
By warm winds deflowered,
Till the scent it gives.
"You'll do fine," said Armistead as he took Lemony's fluttering wrist and escorted him from the bar.
by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006
Get the fart mug.The .45-70 is a very old, very large rifle cartridge. The fine lever action Marlin model 1895 is chambered for the .45-70. The typical factory load has a 400 grain flat tipped or hollow point bullet. This is a fine cartridge for white-tail and mule deer, elk, moose, bison, and bears of all kinds.
The .45-70 is also a wonderful cartridge for use in the city. The large, heavy bullet makes effective kills on Bloods, Crips, Pachucos, and other slime-ball vermin. With the standard open sights on a Marlin 1895, you can easily grease a greaser at 300 feet -- far out of range of the kinds of guns criminals carry.
You do not have to worry about Crips or Pachukes getting their greasy hands on a .45-70 rifle to shoot back. First, pantywaist liberals in big cities do not own .45-70 rifles, so punks can't steal them. Second, inner city hoodlum slimes all fire guns by holding them on their side at arm's length. If a Pachuco tries that with a .45-70, he will bust all his teeth and his greasy nose too.
Belt Mountain Enterprises makes a "punch bullet" in .45-70. A punch bullet will go through a moose, a bear, or a bison from end to end. It will just as easily go through 11 or 12 Bloods. After it comes out of the last criminal, it will splat against a building, destroying all identifying rifle marks. With a good .45-70 carbine and punch bullets, you can begin cleaning up the neighborhood this afternoon. But be aware that pantywaist liberals hate punch bullets almost as much as they hate guns.
The .45-70 is also a wonderful cartridge for use in the city. The large, heavy bullet makes effective kills on Bloods, Crips, Pachucos, and other slime-ball vermin. With the standard open sights on a Marlin 1895, you can easily grease a greaser at 300 feet -- far out of range of the kinds of guns criminals carry.
You do not have to worry about Crips or Pachukes getting their greasy hands on a .45-70 rifle to shoot back. First, pantywaist liberals in big cities do not own .45-70 rifles, so punks can't steal them. Second, inner city hoodlum slimes all fire guns by holding them on their side at arm's length. If a Pachuco tries that with a .45-70, he will bust all his teeth and his greasy nose too.
Belt Mountain Enterprises makes a "punch bullet" in .45-70. A punch bullet will go through a moose, a bear, or a bison from end to end. It will just as easily go through 11 or 12 Bloods. After it comes out of the last criminal, it will splat against a building, destroying all identifying rifle marks. With a good .45-70 carbine and punch bullets, you can begin cleaning up the neighborhood this afternoon. But be aware that pantywaist liberals hate punch bullets almost as much as they hate guns.
Position yourself correctly in the street, and you can get 8 or 9 low riders with one .45-70 punch bullet.
While Greasy Ramon was taking a dump in front of the bank, he got shot in the ass with a .45-70.
While Greasy Ramon was taking a dump in front of the bank, he got shot in the ass with a .45-70.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 30, 2007
Get the .45-70 mug.A bra constructed to inhibit the flopping of Floppers. A support for a woman's breasts that keeps them from flopping around.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 18, 2005
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by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
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