Definitions by Cap'n Bullmoose

marriage 

A relationship between one man and one woman. The nucleus of the family. Ordained by God and not by governments, and therefore not definable or controllable by governments.

Little children sometimes play amusing little games in which their puppy dogs and kitty cats get married. In a similar fashion, grown-up poofters and diesel dykes sometimes pretend that they can get married to each other. Strangely, all good liberal twits pretend the same thing.

Every poofter has the God-given right to get married. He can marry any willing single woman he wants to.

Every bull dyke has the God-given right to get married. She can marry any willing single man she wants to.

Malcolm and Rebecca were united in marriage. Bruce and Donald were not.

marriage by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

Vulgar Dog 

1. William Shakespeare.

Lord Byron wrote that Shakespeare was a vulgar dog.

2. A dog. Any dog.

Bet you can't find me a dog who is not a vulgar dog.

Vulgar Dog by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

Woof! 

Word used by countless ignorant peckerwoods to refer to a wolf.

Hot damn, Lem, they's a Woof down there in the holler.

Woof! by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

Ivory-Billed Woodpecker 

The next target for legions of bull-necked peckerwoods in the Arkansas outback.

Bubba is gonna shoot him a Ivory-Billed Woodpecker, now that the TV gone an' told him where it lives.

Ivory-Billed Woodpecker by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

time out 

A bogus, phoney baloney pseudo-punishment inflicted by soccer moms on their day care brats, after said day care brats have disobeyed for the 27th time.

The time out has a beginning, but never an end. Before the soccer mom releases the day care brat, the day care brat releases itself.

After little Chutney disobeyed her soccer mom for the 27th time, Michner gave her a time out.

time out by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

left lane hog 

An inconsiderate slob who drives in the left lane and won't move over to let anyone pass.

A left lane dick. A left lamer.

A long line of soccer moms in their SUVs followed the left lane hog. Each one was waiting for her chance to be first in line.

left lane hog by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005

prarie oyster 

A Prairie Oyster is a bull testicle battered and fried. A delicacy enjoyed by many, popularly served in bars and at rural festivals.

Compare with Rocky Mountain Oysters and bull fries.

McGurk serves Prairie Oysters in his bar every Saturday.

prarie oyster by Cap'n Bullmoose April 26, 2005