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BrettS's definitions

cock teasing

Used by women to gain power and/or humilate male friends and colleagues by the art of making perfectly normal men turn in to delusional idiots when they think the cock teaser actually has been wanting sex with them.

The magnitude of the effect is directly proportional to the time spent being teased and/or your position within the organisation
"That bitch has lead me on for weeks! And I told her the plans for our management restructure!"
"What a cock teasing you've had!"
by BrettS June 25, 2005
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Lets just be friends

The phrase women use when they want to hear your heart actually break.
Often said after weeks of cock teasing.

For maximum effect, normally said when you think you are just about to get in her knickers but she is just about to walk out and get in a taxi with some better looking, fitter, richer guy, infront of all of you work mates.
"Oh I am sorry. I didn't realise you felt that way. You know we could never be anything more than colleagues. Lets just be friends"

*dull snap*

"oh?"
by BrettS June 25, 2005
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Gunk

gunk is a contrived word made by dick wad US teenagers who have never seen or heard goth music in their entire "sad misunderstood" lives.
Goth IS short for Gothic Punk, always was, way back in the late 70's early 80's, here in the land of all your better musical tastes, the UK.

Go listen to Bauhaus, The Sisters of Mercy or Siouxsie & the Banshees or even The Damned. GOTHS!

"Oo! I am Gunk" that you may be, but you aint a goth!
by BrettS December 17, 2005
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cunted

The sort of thing neds say to one another make themselves sound hard
See youse, ure oll gonna get cunted!

Aw man, I wiz cunted at the weekend
by BrettS June 26, 2005
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dog botherer

(1) Someone who partakes of bestiality
(2) An imflamitory libel, most likey causing the libeler to get a smack from the libelee
(2) The name given to men who make a habit of pulling the really ugly girls at 1.50am as the nightclub is winding up
(1) "Yes, M'Lord, when I arrested him, he was dog bothering."

(2) "Fuck off you dog botherer *ouch*"

(3) "It's getting late, the bar is about to shut and I cant find Bob!"
"Oh dont worry about him, he's a dog botherer. He will have pulled some fat bird!"
by BrettS June 25, 2005
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hypocrocogryph

The ugliest woman in the nightclub.

Probably wearing a cropped top and a short skirt, neither of which should be seen on anyone with such a high bodymass index as her. Most likely owner of a "cheeky devil flicking you the finger" tattoo in some random place on body but due to the huge expanse of flesh and lack of clothing you are going to see it. You will not be sure that the stretch marks are due to her obesity or worse, she has actually had kids!

Inexplicably, seems to be going out with the thinest, weasel faced, rip off designer clad guy in the nightclub.

Always smoking
"Jesus, will you look at the nick of that hypocrocogryph?!"
"That? Oh my God, Do you have you camera phone handy? I need to show the kids what happens when you eat too many McDs!"
"Look she has a boyfriend!"
"She must of shagged him thin, either that or likes his mancumber too much"
by BrettS October 11, 2005
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mancumber

The male genitilia, The penis
Bill Clinton looked down at his favourite intern eating his mancumber
by BrettS June 25, 2005
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