English inproficient people, most of who are from China and India, that you must call when you are experiencing errors that make a software product unusable. If you can get a person that can speak some slight resemblance of the English language, consider yourself very lucky. Even then 99% percent of the time they will not be of any help whatsoever, and cause further confusion and even more errors.
Bob: This program is not working. Why don't I call Tech Support?
Joe: You mean Tech Suckport.
Bob: Yes
(Bob picks up the phone and dials the number for Tech Suckport)
Tech Suckport: Yellow. Meecrosof Tack Supaut. Ho ceen I hail yu?
Bob: Hello, I'm having this problem with source control in VSS 2005.
Tech Suckport: Wayt? Ee cent har ya?
Bob: Do you know how to speak Engllsh?
Tech Suckport: Ee don eendursta yo? Yo ned tack lauder.
Bob: I said DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH?
Tech Suckport: Aa. Ingle. I spek vahy god Ingle.
Bob: OK, can you please help me with my problem?
Tech Suckport: Yue prubleeme? Wat prubleeme ees. Plece tai me mah detuh. Ees prubleeme fatulleruh?
Bob: My problem is with Visual Source Safe. Yes it's a fatal error.
Tech Suckport: Oh Visah Sauce Saf. I don no no Sauce Saf. Eys nat mee specsalty. I well geetcowolka huno Sauch Saf.
Bob: Can your coworker speak English?
Tech Suckport: Oh yays. He takeen Eeassellcaws een skull. He leerning god Anglees een Eeassellcaws. I git hem no.
Bob: Never mind. It's hopeless.
Tech Suckport: No eederstend yu senteez. Pless repit.
(Bob slams down the phone)
Joe: You mean Tech Suckport.
Bob: Yes
(Bob picks up the phone and dials the number for Tech Suckport)
Tech Suckport: Yellow. Meecrosof Tack Supaut. Ho ceen I hail yu?
Bob: Hello, I'm having this problem with source control in VSS 2005.
Tech Suckport: Wayt? Ee cent har ya?
Bob: Do you know how to speak Engllsh?
Tech Suckport: Ee don eendursta yo? Yo ned tack lauder.
Bob: I said DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH?
Tech Suckport: Aa. Ingle. I spek vahy god Ingle.
Bob: OK, can you please help me with my problem?
Tech Suckport: Yue prubleeme? Wat prubleeme ees. Plece tai me mah detuh. Ees prubleeme fatulleruh?
Bob: My problem is with Visual Source Safe. Yes it's a fatal error.
Tech Suckport: Oh Visah Sauce Saf. I don no no Sauce Saf. Eys nat mee specsalty. I well geetcowolka huno Sauch Saf.
Bob: Can your coworker speak English?
Tech Suckport: Oh yays. He takeen Eeassellcaws een skull. He leerning god Anglees een Eeassellcaws. I git hem no.
Bob: Never mind. It's hopeless.
Tech Suckport: No eederstend yu senteez. Pless repit.
(Bob slams down the phone)
by Boxcar Bob August 02, 2007
Get the tech suckportmug. Extremely annoying late spring to early summer (and sometimes all summer long) weather phenomenon in coastal Southern California that causes relentless, damp, dreary, miserable weather with drizzle and fog for weeks without end at the beaches. It sometimes spreads into the mountains. This shocks tourists who come to 'sunny Southern California' to instead find themselves in Alaska. It spoils beach days a'plenty and for most locals is the most dreaded time of the year. Number 1 cause for Seasonal Affective Disorder in Southern California. A.k.a. May Gray.
Tourist from East Coast: We're going to sunny Southern California to celebrate Memorial Day and the start of summer.
(Tourist arrives in San Diego)
Tourist: What's up with this stupid weather. Where is the sun?
Local: This is our June Gloom. We've just entered into winter in San Diego. You'll be very lucky if you see the sun at all the next month.
(Tourist arrives in San Diego)
Tourist: What's up with this stupid weather. Where is the sun?
Local: This is our June Gloom. We've just entered into winter in San Diego. You'll be very lucky if you see the sun at all the next month.
by Boxcar Bob June 12, 2007
Get the June Gloommug. A device which insecure people waste money on because they are afraid their sacred, shiny cars will be stolen. Since about 99.9% of car alarms are false alarms, however, the owners eventually forget why they got the alarm in the first place, and get used to their cars crying wolf after a few occurrences.
Occasionally this will encourage angry neighbors to do whatever they can to put themselves and these useless devices out of their misery. This may include vandalizing the offending cars until they can disarm the screeching, honking, blaring whiners. Therefore, car alarms actually lead to more damage than good, and are one of the most foolish inventions in the history of mankind.
Occasionally this will encourage angry neighbors to do whatever they can to put themselves and these useless devices out of their misery. This may include vandalizing the offending cars until they can disarm the screeching, honking, blaring whiners. Therefore, car alarms actually lead to more damage than good, and are one of the most foolish inventions in the history of mankind.
For the fiftieth time in two weeks, the car alarm went off triggered by a bird who perched itself on the trunk, which caused a neighbor to get a baton and whack the offending automobile until he was able to get to the alarm and break it in two. Five minutes later, as the commercial break arrived during the action thriller movie, the car owner came out. Suddenly he realized that the alarm he had originally came to stop was no longer blaring away. He then saw the damage to his precious luxury and fainted.
by Boxcar Bob February 24, 2008
Get the car alarmmug. A medicine, often advertised on TV commercials as revolutionary, that is known to cause more problems than it cures.
TV Commercial for Allerelieva (antimedicine):
It's pollen season, so when you're suffering with allergies, you need the new Allerelieva!
(Beautiful music plays, happy people shown dancing)
This revolutionary new formula will rejuvenate you and get you through those warm spring days allergy free!
(Spectacular nature scenes shown)
But Allerelieva is not for everyone! Side effects may include sore throat, runny nose, fever, coughing, shortness of breath, seizures, and death.
(Relaxing music continues to play, people shown enjoying gorgeous mountains)
If you suffer with allergies, consult your physician now to see if Allerelieva is right for you.
It's pollen season, so when you're suffering with allergies, you need the new Allerelieva!
(Beautiful music plays, happy people shown dancing)
This revolutionary new formula will rejuvenate you and get you through those warm spring days allergy free!
(Spectacular nature scenes shown)
But Allerelieva is not for everyone! Side effects may include sore throat, runny nose, fever, coughing, shortness of breath, seizures, and death.
(Relaxing music continues to play, people shown enjoying gorgeous mountains)
If you suffer with allergies, consult your physician now to see if Allerelieva is right for you.
by Boxcar Bob March 29, 2007
Get the antimedicinemug. A blah guy who sometimes fills in for supermodel hottie Ashley Russell on Yahoo Sports Minute and Rivals Minute.
When he fills in, it is a major disappointment for many, including non-sports fans, who watch the videos solely to admire and drool over the sexy blonde.
When he fills in, it is a major disappointment for many, including non-sports fans, who watch the videos solely to admire and drool over the sexy blonde.
The young man opened up Rivals Minute one morning, prepared to enjoy the stunning beauty of Ashley Russell, only to find that Blair Johnson was filling in for her. "I hate when that guy fills in for her", he said. "How dare she take a day off?"
by Boxcar Bob July 03, 2009
Get the Blair Johnsonmug. A mortgage company whose Internet ads are so annoying, intrusive, some almost criminally insane, that they actually produce the opposite effect of what they are meant to accomplish: loss of business and customers.
Person 1: When I go to Yahoo, I sometimes have to refresh the page 4 or 5 times before I can concentrate.
Person 2: Must be those ads from lowermybills.com.
Person 1: Right! From ugly 30-foot-long dogs, to sexually explicit animations, to irritating dancing silhouttes, I just want to make one animation with all their ad designers being blown off a cliff.
Person 2: Must be those ads from lowermybills.com.
Person 1: Right! From ugly 30-foot-long dogs, to sexually explicit animations, to irritating dancing silhouttes, I just want to make one animation with all their ad designers being blown off a cliff.
by Boxcar Bob November 23, 2006
Get the lowermybills.commug. Covetous Broadcasting System. So called because they require large fees from cable and satellite companies to air their channels. If these companies refuse to pay their ridiculous fees, CBS will black their channel out until they pay the greedy snobs their insane prices. They have done this before to Dish and now to DirecTV.
Also they will move their most popular programs to CBS All Access, which costs extra money to watch programs online even if you do have their regular channel.
Also they will move their most popular programs to CBS All Access, which costs extra money to watch programs online even if you do have their regular channel.
CBS, the Covetous Broadcasting System has lost many viewers due to their blackouts and extra fees, but they have not learned their lesson.
by Boxcar Bob July 24, 2019
Get the CBSmug.