Bottom Ford's definitions

Jello suicide

When you are trying to eat Jello in an impaired state and it jumps to its death somewhere below the dish.

“Did any of that Jello get into your mouth?”

“No, it was a Jello suicide.”

by Bottom Ford April 3, 2010

lingua fracas

1. The few words one knows in another language sufficient to start a fight.

2. A fight over the proper use of a word.

1. Bottom doesn’t speak Spanish; he only knows enough of the lingua fracas to get into trouble.

2. “ ‘Impact’ is a verb only in the lingua fracas.”
“You mean, like, when my fist impacts your face?”

by Bottom Ford May 1, 2010

mosquito tinnitus

A ringing in the ears that sounds like a hovering mosquito, brought on by the anticipation that mosquitoes WILL begin to torment you just as you are dozing off.

I spent half the night swatting mosquitoes that weren’t there. Guess it was just mosquito tinnitus.

by Bottom Ford August 21, 2010

reef rash

Abrasion caused by contact with rocks/reef in a surfing accident.

"Dig Bottom's reef rash. He wiped out bad."

by Bottom Ford September 18, 2009

Scotch-tape skies

A weather condition frequently seen in family photographs of a certain age, brought on by the ill-considered use of Scotch tape in scrapbooks and picture frames.

I found a photograph of Grandma sitting in her roadster under Scotch-tape skies.

by Bottom Ford January 2, 2010

micro hobby

A hobby you spend hardly any time on, but that you claim because you bought the gear.

Bottom says he’s taken up bodyboarding, but it’s just a vacation micro hobby.

by Bottom Ford September 29, 2010

preemptive mimicry

When you say something you know will cause your friend to make a face, and you make it first to avert an accusation of mimicry.

“I’m not mimicking you if I pout first.”
“It’s preemptive mimicry!”

by Bottom Ford September 29, 2010