Bottom Ford, Esq's definitions

Fringe binge

Watching “Fringe” for hours because the DVDs from Netflix are piling up.

“What movies did we get?”
“Prepare for a Fringe binge.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq November 7, 2010

scat signing

A series of gestures that look as if they should be meaningful but are actually complete nonsense.

“Bottom dances pretty cool, but what’s he doing with his hands?”
“He can’t sing, so must resort to scat signing.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 17, 2010

Byrned out

A state of burn-out suffered by the partners of David Byrne fans who think he’s funny for a couple of years but then only tolerate him out of love.

“If Bottom plays Little Creatures one more time I am going to get Byrned out.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq June 29, 2011

potty animal

Someone for whom partying must include numerous, almost rhythmic bathroom breaks.

“You going to the can again, Bottom?”
“Don’t you know I’m a potty animal?”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 27, 2010

fire drill

A method for getting no-longer-wanted company up off your couch and out the door.

“Come on, Bottom, fire drill!”
“Wait, I’m not done telling you about the cool dream I had during my nap.”
“The house is on fire, Bottom! Go, go, go!”

by Bottom Ford, Esq March 21, 2014

caesarean haircut

1. A short hair style, with the hair combed forward (in some cases to disguise a receding hairline), effecting a resemblance to various busts or portraits of Caesar.

2. A surgical procedure that removes some of the baby’s hair during birth.

“Look! A caesarean haircut!”
“I did it myself with barber clippers.”

“That newborn looks unreasonably stylish.”
“He got a caesarean haircut.”

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 29, 2010

swim johns

Swimwear with long sleeves and pants, like long johns, for swimming. Designed for sun protection and/or modesty.

Meet me in Hawaii. I’ll be the girl wearing swim johns.

by Bottom Ford, Esq December 13, 2010