Definitions by Bonny lad

Piss Hatch 

The small folded opening which is found in men's Y-fronts which enables the wearer to urinate without pulling down his underwear.

"Sorry about that vicar. I believe the explosion was caused by your candle igniting a small pocket of fart which had become temporarily trapped in the piss hatch of my trollies..."(etc)

Piss Hatch by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Making the Bald Man Cry

Masturbation. Nothing else to add, really.

"Honey, would you like to say hello to my mother?"
"No thanks dear, I'm making the bald man cry."
"I live with a monster" (etc)

Making the Bald Man Cry by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Ye Olde Tea Shoppe 

One of the more irritating common misconceptions. 'Ye', as an old english word, meant 'you'. It has never meant 'the' as it would have to in order for Ye Olde Tea Shoppe to make sense. Christ almighty!

"You know, I bet we'd get a lot more visitors to our cafe if we tried to get the oldies in. You know, in a kind of 'Ye Olde Tea Shoppe' kind of way."
"You ignorant twat." (etc)

Ye Olde Tea Shoppe by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Laughing at the Ground 

Being sick; vomiting.

"Hey, look at him. Half a pint of lager and he's already laughing at the ground."
"Yeah. Let's get him!"

Laughing at the Ground by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Bait

North east england pit-worker slang for lunch.

"Alreet, whatcha got fer yer bait?"
"Boiled ham."
"Canny."

Bait by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Banana Time 

Refers to a study done by a misguided sociologist. He discovered the remarkable fact that workers make boring jobs more bearable by talking to each other. No shit! He observed the least productive part of the workers' day was when one guy stole another guys banana. This happened on every day of the study. Hence - when you're at work, doing bugger all, you are having 'banana time'.

Check this out on any search engine if you don't beleive me.

"Jenkins! You were supposed to have that report on my desk by three!"
"Sorry boss, we've been having a bit of banana time."
"You're all fired." (etc)

Banana Time by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Gnat's Chuff 

If something is extremely tight, then it could be said to be 'tighter than a gnat's chuff.'

"So there I was yeah, just pulled this crackin' bird yeah, took her upstairs, took her mini off, and whoa! She was tighter than a gnat's chuff!"
"Colin, please don't talk like that at the dinnertable."

Gnat's Chuff by Bonny lad November 11, 2004