Bob Velvetta's definitions

Theory of Economic Ejaculation

You know the economy is going to cum back, but you don't know when, and you don't know where it might go.

Helen told her boyfriend that his orgasms were so inconsistent, he should be studying the Theory of Economic Ejaculation.

by Bob Velvetta April 6, 2020

Clusterphobic

Fear of a clusterfuck

Having endured so many fuck ups, Bob has become clusterphobic.

by Bob Velvetta November 24, 2018

junk warmer

Insulated underwear

It was so cold, I was sure glad I was wearing a junk warmer.

by Bob Velvetta June 29, 2017

lowcountry crapper

A rocking chair with a hole in the seat for a quick discharge, located on the porch of a house in the lowcountry of South Carolina.

Uncle Bob had to go so bad, it's a good thing he was sitting in the lowcountry crapper.

by Bob Velvetta May 18, 2017

jizmeister

Sperm Donor

Brad has been making some extra money as a jizmeister.

by Bob Velvetta June 9, 2017

nose missile

When a snot projectile is ejected as a result of sneezing.

Brad's nose missile barely missed hitting Rita's blouse.

by Bob Velvetta June 11, 2017

scrotumed

Getting hit so hard in the nut sack that you don't have the words to describe the pain.

We knew Carl had been scrotumed when he doubled over and could not draw a breath to tell us where it hurt.

by Bob Velvetta June 1, 2017