Blenderhead1991's definitions

knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk

n.) a truly envious condition, indeed. To have consumed so much alcohol that most of one's motor skills are severely impaired. One in this condition will walk on his or her knees to decrease the distance he or she may fall in the event of a tumble, thus limiting injury, and the commode hugging comes in when the individual prays to regurgitate, thereby alleviating some of the associated nausea. The snot-slinging simply appears to be a side-effect--however when spoken to, a person in this condition will spray a combination of mucus and spit to who ever he or she is conversing with.

Alex drank way too many Tequia Fannybangers and did too many jello shots last night and wound up knee walking commode hugging snot slinging drunk before half the party guests arrived.

by Blenderhead1991 May 19, 2009

detonating gonaditis

(n.) the medical name for exploding testicles. It is divided into two types, Acute Regional Gonadotrophic Hernioma (ARGH) the less serious of the two, and the always life-threatening Osteoulcerative Colonic Hernioma (OuCH).The first variety is the most common form of the disease. It is characterized by swelling of one or more testicles and acute pain in the groin region. This is accompanied by insomnia, lethargy, and in some cases, severe flatulence. Although not immediately life threatening, if left untreated the gonads will continue to swell until the patient is forced to continuously squat, eventually, the gonads burst without warning, emitting an audible pop. In the second form of the disease, detonation occurs spontaneously and without warning, which can be far more psychologically traumatic for the patient than it is physically. Even still, the force generated by the rapid pressure release can cause significant injury to the vital organs, resulting in an immediate coma and death. It is estimated that more people are killed each year from Detonating Gonaditus than are killed on the roads.

Both forms of detonating gonaditis are believed to have both genetic and environmental components. If a patient has the disease, then their risk of developing the disease in later life is believed to be close to 100%. Similarly, the risk factor is increased by smoking, drinking, and sex.

I can't believe what happened to Buddy. His balls just exploded! The paramedics said it was another sad case of detonating gonaditis.

by Blenderhead1991 September 9, 2010

WET

Walking Erectile Tissue. Synonymous withe being a dick.

My brother, Joel is WET. He's like the biggest dick I know.

by Blenderhead1991 June 9, 2011

pounding the porpoise

To jerk off. To masturbate. To stroke one's own cock (usually with much vigor).

Damn, my cock is sore! Since Sara shot me down, I've been pounding the porpoise to an old Hustler. I really need to get me some for-real nookie!

by Blenderhead1991 September 7, 2010

Gathering of Eagles

A right-wing extremist group that claims to "support the troops," but strangely enough believes that sending them to places where they'll most likely come home in body bags is the best way of doing so. In the opinion of GOE (as this group is known), shipping young men and women off to die is patriotic. Gathering of Eagles members get their rocks off by harassing peaceful demonstrators at anti-war protests. They have also been known to film and threaten peace activists and have gone so far as to assault the grieving families of service members killed in recent conflicts. Anybody who disagrees with the GOE philosophy is summarily labled a traitor and a "moonbat," whatever that is. GOE members are opposed by several noble groups that include the Winter Soldiers and Veterans for Peace, groups whose members know the horrors of war and seek to spare future generations from them.

Carolyn Swartout is an infamous member of the right-wing fringe extremist group known as a Gathering of Eagles. She has been witnessed harassing peaceful protestors and uses her family, including her minor son, in attempts to trigger violent response. She is a coward.

by Blenderhead1991 May 15, 2009

B.O.B.S.

(n.) an acronym for Busted Out Butthole Syndrome, or in otherwords a prolapsed rectum. Frequently attributed to entirely too much buttfucking or inserting foreign objects into the colon.

Ned: When I saw Felix in the showers down at the gym, bro...well at first I thought he had a tail! Here it turns out the last six inches of his colon were hanging out his asshole!

Phil: What....ain't you ever seen a case of B.O.B.S. up close and personal?

by Blenderhead1991 May 5, 2009

American Family Association

(n.) an allegedly non-profit ultra-conservative organization that advocates criminalizing homosexuality and lobbies against hate-crime legislature and same-sex marriage. The AFA has, at times, advocated gay-bashing and aheres to and publicizes the belief that all non-Christians are in league with Satan. The AFA (as it is known) owns over 180 radio stations and airs its message of intolerance and hatred through these venues. AFA members rationalize their views on homosexuality by claiming Hitler was gay (tell that to all the homosexuals who died in concentration camps)and to raise children in a Jewish household is to introduce them to a criminal way of life. The AFA submits that all AIDS patients should be quarentined.The AFA once called for a boycott of Ford Motors because Ford had offered benefits to the partners of their lesbian and gay employees. The Southern Poverty Law Center has investigated the AFA as a hate group and notes that it is "primarily an anti-gay organization."

Diane Gramely is a hate monger and spokesperson for the American Family Association of Pennsylvania.

by Blenderhead1991 May 14, 2009