Definitions by Bernie Lomax

Meal ticket 

A wealthy rich man, who is usually used by a younger more attractive woman

The only reason that 25 year old model is dating that ass ugly 50 year old lawyer is because he’s her meal ticket

Meal ticket by Bernie Lomax May 7, 2019

Sorting books in a burning library

1- Trying to accomplish something that is a monumental waste of time.
2- Wasting your energy or time on a lost cause.

There is no way your wife is letting you go to Vegas with the guys. Trying to convince her is like sorting books in a burning library.

Sorting books in a burning library by Bernie Lomax February 26, 2009

All the tools and no box to carry them in. 

A person or coworker that appears to have intelligence and talent, but continues to screw things up on a regular basis.

Man, I used to think that guy had his shit together. He's such a screw up.
He's got all the tools and no box to carry them in.

All the tools and no box to carry them in. by Bernie Lomax February 24, 2009

Bouquet 

The act of getting a handful of traffic tickets from a cop.
Either because he's trying to get a quota, or you acted like an arse and deserved it.

I got stopped the other day for speeding. He ended up nailing me for a burnt headlight, no seatbelt, and an old insurance card. I got the bouquet.

Bouquet by Bernie Lomax February 24, 2009