8 definitions by Beavis Comeavis
noun, verb, Madoffed, Madoffing.
–verb
1. To scam and completely screw over someone financially, especially in cases where a Ponzi scheme is involved.
-noun
2. A person who scams and screws over other people financially often with the use of a Ponzi scheme.
–verb
1. To scam and completely screw over someone financially, especially in cases where a Ponzi scheme is involved.
-noun
2. A person who scams and screws over other people financially often with the use of a Ponzi scheme.
Example 1 (verb):
Guy 1: "He told me it was a good investment so I put all my money into it. It turns out the guy was a crook running a Ponzi scheme. My whole life savings is gone."
Guy 2: "Man! He Madoffed you good!"
Example 2 (noun):
Guy 1: "A couple months ago I gave him a thousand bucks."
Guy 2: "Why? Are you retarded?"
Guy 1: "He said his grandma was in the hospital and he really needed the money. Plus he said he'd pay me back in a week. It's been three months now and he still hasn't paid me back."
Guy 2: "You should have known he was a Madoff. You know he spent all that money on crack the same day you gave it to him."
Guy 1: "He told me it was a good investment so I put all my money into it. It turns out the guy was a crook running a Ponzi scheme. My whole life savings is gone."
Guy 2: "Man! He Madoffed you good!"
Example 2 (noun):
Guy 1: "A couple months ago I gave him a thousand bucks."
Guy 2: "Why? Are you retarded?"
Guy 1: "He said his grandma was in the hospital and he really needed the money. Plus he said he'd pay me back in a week. It's been three months now and he still hasn't paid me back."
Guy 2: "You should have known he was a Madoff. You know he spent all that money on crack the same day you gave it to him."
by Beavis Comeavis January 9, 2009
–noun
1. A fart someone blasts an instant before the ball drops so that the fart exists in two calendar years.
1. A fart someone blasts an instant before the ball drops so that the fart exists in two calendar years.
Bill: Did you hear that Jeremy blasted a fart from 2010 to 2011?
Steve: Holy shit! For real?
Bill: Yeah, he started farting just before the ball dropped.
Steve: Ohhhhhh... a New Years Fart.
Bill: Of course... What'd you think I meant? He actually farted through 365 consecutive calendar days? You're such a dumbass.
Steve: Holy shit! For real?
Bill: Yeah, he started farting just before the ball dropped.
Steve: Ohhhhhh... a New Years Fart.
Bill: Of course... What'd you think I meant? He actually farted through 365 consecutive calendar days? You're such a dumbass.
by Beavis Comeavis December 31, 2011
After seeing Robocop I and II, I felt compelled to see the third one, but it turns out Robocrap wasn't so good.
by Beavis Comeavis December 8, 2008
Someone with a useful set of skills, especially a rare sought-after talent, that is completely useless because they are drunk all the time.
Example 1:
Rumpelstiltskin: I'm here to spin all that straw into gold and save the miller's daughter. Hey, do you have any meds for a headache? I have a killer hangover.
Miller's friend: Dude, you smell like booze. Also, she's dead already. The King hanged her on Sunday.
Rumpelstilskin: Awwww, noooo! Really!? But I can spin the straw into gold like the King wants.
Miller's friend: That would have been useful 3 days ago when you said you'd be here.
Rumpelstiltskin: Aw man. I'm so sorry. I feel so bad about this.
Miller's friend: Yeah. Nice job, Drunkelstiltskin.
Rumpelstiltskin: I feel so bad. I need a drink.
Example 2:
John: I need some help with my Calculus homework. Do you know anyone that is taking Calculus this semester?
Bob: Well, that dude over there has a Ph.D in Mathematics. I'm sure he could help you.
John: A Ph.D, seriously? Where is he!?
Bob: He's that guy over there in the recliner chair.
John: You mean that passed out guy sitting in the chair with barf dripping down the arm of the chair?
Bob: Yep. That's him. Drunkelstiltskin is a fuckin' math genius!
John: ...
Rumpelstiltskin: I'm here to spin all that straw into gold and save the miller's daughter. Hey, do you have any meds for a headache? I have a killer hangover.
Miller's friend: Dude, you smell like booze. Also, she's dead already. The King hanged her on Sunday.
Rumpelstilskin: Awwww, noooo! Really!? But I can spin the straw into gold like the King wants.
Miller's friend: That would have been useful 3 days ago when you said you'd be here.
Rumpelstiltskin: Aw man. I'm so sorry. I feel so bad about this.
Miller's friend: Yeah. Nice job, Drunkelstiltskin.
Rumpelstiltskin: I feel so bad. I need a drink.
Example 2:
John: I need some help with my Calculus homework. Do you know anyone that is taking Calculus this semester?
Bob: Well, that dude over there has a Ph.D in Mathematics. I'm sure he could help you.
John: A Ph.D, seriously? Where is he!?
Bob: He's that guy over there in the recliner chair.
John: You mean that passed out guy sitting in the chair with barf dripping down the arm of the chair?
Bob: Yep. That's him. Drunkelstiltskin is a fuckin' math genius!
John: ...
by Beavis Comeavis January 31, 2019
-Noun
1. Someone who gives birth to octuplets and lacks the ability to support them.
2. An indebted person who chooses to give birth to a large number of babies at the expense of taxpayers and other gullible individuals.
1. Someone who gives birth to octuplets and lacks the ability to support them.
2. An indebted person who chooses to give birth to a large number of babies at the expense of taxpayers and other gullible individuals.
Guy: Did you hear about that woman in California who gave birth to octuplets?
Lady: Yeah, she's on food stamps and already has like 6 kids.
Guy: What an octotard!
Lady: Yeah, she's on food stamps and already has like 6 kids.
Guy: What an octotard!
by Beavis Comeavis February 13, 2009
–noun
1. An extremely powerful weather storm generally classified in one of three classifications (class 1, class 2, or class 3) with class 3 being the most powerful
2. A blizzard of epic proportions, usually resulting in school cancellations
1. An extremely powerful weather storm generally classified in one of three classifications (class 1, class 2, or class 3) with class 3 being the most powerful
2. A blizzard of epic proportions, usually resulting in school cancellations
Example 1:
Guy: That killstorm we had the other night really wrecked my yard. I found my grill in my neighbor's driveway, my newspaper in a storm drain, and my cat in the chimney.
Example 2:
Young kid: Dad, I heard there is supposed to be a class 3 killstorm tonight. Alright! No school tomorrow! Looks like you'll have to stay home and babysit me.
Dad: Son of a bitch! I'll call in to work and tell them nature has screwed me over again. Dammit!
Example 3 (From The Simpsons):
Kent Brockman: The National Weather Service has upgraded Springfield's blizzard from "Winter Wonderland" to a "Class 3 Kill-Storm"!
Marge: I don't like the sound of that "class 3".
Guy: That killstorm we had the other night really wrecked my yard. I found my grill in my neighbor's driveway, my newspaper in a storm drain, and my cat in the chimney.
Example 2:
Young kid: Dad, I heard there is supposed to be a class 3 killstorm tonight. Alright! No school tomorrow! Looks like you'll have to stay home and babysit me.
Dad: Son of a bitch! I'll call in to work and tell them nature has screwed me over again. Dammit!
Example 3 (From The Simpsons):
Kent Brockman: The National Weather Service has upgraded Springfield's blizzard from "Winter Wonderland" to a "Class 3 Kill-Storm"!
Marge: I don't like the sound of that "class 3".
by Beavis Comeavis February 11, 2009
-noun
Apple's latest and greatest invention... a sanitary pad that also has the capability to serve as a wireless hotspot. It features ultra absorbency as well as WPA2 encryption for ultimate protection.
Apple's latest and greatest invention... a sanitary pad that also has the capability to serve as a wireless hotspot. It features ultra absorbency as well as WPA2 encryption for ultimate protection.
Example 1:
"With the iPad for once people WILL want to hang around you when you're PMS'ing."
-Women's Product Council of America
Example 2:
Guy #1: "Janet always havin' serious PMS around that time of the month. It sucks yo. She always yellin' at me an' shit."
Guy #2: "Yeah? Well my Leslie does too, but she uses the iPad so while she is yelling at me I just watch YouTube videos on my laptop."
"With the iPad for once people WILL want to hang around you when you're PMS'ing."
-Women's Product Council of America
Example 2:
Guy #1: "Janet always havin' serious PMS around that time of the month. It sucks yo. She always yellin' at me an' shit."
Guy #2: "Yeah? Well my Leslie does too, but she uses the iPad so while she is yelling at me I just watch YouTube videos on my laptop."
by Beavis Comeavis January 28, 2010