Bbb23’s left testicle's definitions

Shakirity

The state of being Shakira or like Shakira.
Comes from a mishearing of the word “security.”

My dog is my personal security blanket.
What? Your Shakirity jacket? Does your dog make you want to, like, waka-waka or something?

by Bbb23’s left testicle September 16, 2024

temnaiogkdwrusqzycxbjplfvh

You have reached the pinnacle of boredom. You've exhausted every way to move your finger across the qwerty, qwertz, azerty and dvorak keyboards and decided to teach yourself Morse Code. You found a handy branching chart that can help you learn it, but it has also shown you a whole knew way to organize the twenty-six letters of the alphabet, from dashes to dots, shortest to longest codes:
T: -
E: .
M: --
N: -.
A: .-
I: ..
O: ---
G: .--
K: -.-
D: -..
W: .--
R: .-.
U: ..-
S: ...
Q: --.-
Z: --..
Y: -.--
C: -.-.
X: -..-
B: -...
J: .---
P: .--.
L: .-..
F: ..-.
V: ...-
H: ....

I'm sick of typing out every single alphabet combination in existence. Time to take a break and learn Morse Code… oh wait- what's that? Time to look up temnaiogkdwrusqzycxbjplfvh on Urban Dictionary.

by Bbb23’s left testicle December 21, 2024

Portland

The self-proclaimed capital of weirdness in the USA. Proud home of hipsters, stoners, fat people and fat stoned hipsters. The people pretend to care about the environment despite managing to turn a beautiful spot in the middle of forest, which was just about the prettiest place on earth, into a sea of giant concrete rectangles that reeks of air pollution. When you cross over the Columbia River to Washington, you immediately notice that the air gets cleaner, the rivers get bluer, and so do the skies. Overall the surrounding vicinities of Portland are a great place for kayaking, fishing and hiking. Enter the city itself at your own risk: it's basically a cheaper, shittier version of Seattle, but at least Seattle has the sea planes...

You know you've been in Portland for too long when you realize your waitress at a restaurant has an Adam's Apple.

by Bbb23’s left testicle August 20, 2023

Canada

A place where if you die, nobody knows if you will die in real life.

If you die in Canada, do you die in real life?

by Bbb23’s left testicle October 27, 2023

Shrek is love, Shrek is life

I👁️WAS ONLY🎂9 YEARS🎂OLD👵😍😍😍
I❤️LOVED❤️👹SHREK💚💚😳SO MUCH, I HAD👏👏ALL👏👏THE MERCHANDISE💰🤑AND🎬🎬MOVIES💚😱🙀😱😱
I PRAY🙏TO🥵SHREK🥵😀👍EVERY NIGHT😴🛏️🌙BEFORE BED🥱,THANKING💕HIM💕FOR THE👶LIFE🐣I’VE🥹BEEN🫘GIVEN😘💋💕😎
💚"😍SHREK🥰💚IS💕LOVE❤️❤️💋",I👀📣SAY🗣️,"😭😱SHREK🥵🥰IS🟰🛟LIFE🐣"👏👏👏💋
MY👴DAD👴HEARS👂ME🤔😬😱AND☎️CALLS📞ME😟🙂 ↕️🤔A🌈🌈FAGGOT🏳️ 🌈🏳️ 🌈😱😱
I KNEW🧠💀HE🫶WAS JUST🫣🥶JEALOUS🫥FOR🍀🍀🍀🍀🤗MY💕❤️LOVE❤️💕OF😎💕SHREK💕😘💚🥰🤩😭😎
👉I👈📢CALLED📞😡👴HIM🤬🤮A🍑CUNT👩😂😂🤣🤣😈
HE🤡✋SLAPS👏💥ME😭AND SENDS👉👉ME🫥💔TOGO🚶TO SLEEP🛏️🥱😓😱😬🥦🐫
I’M😭CRYING😢💦NOW📆,AND➕MY FACE🥺😭😵 💫HURTS😰😩🤬😡🪦💀
I🤓LAY🛏️IN🌕BED😴AND💔ITS🧊❄️🥶REALLY COLD❄️🥶🫥💩🟩
A💕🔥WARMTH😱❤️IS💘➡️MOVING➡️👉TOWARDS ME👈😱🤯😨🤯🥰
I🧑 🍼FEEL😑😘😱❤️SOMETHING💕🤯✋TOUCH🥹ME😍😍😍🙂 ↕️
ITS❤️🥰😍SHREK🥰🥵💚❤️💕😎💪😭😊🤩😈😈
✋I✋AM😃😅😁SO HAPPY😄😁😆😘❤️😎💚💚
💚💚HE💚💚🤐WHISPERS😏IN😅MY EAR👂🌽,“👉THIS👈IS☠️❤️MY SWAMP💕☠️”😂🤣🤣💕
HE😘😇👌GRIPS🤛😘🥹ME🥹WITH🥹💕🥰HIS💚😅🥵😎POWERFUL💪💪💪👹OGRE🟢🙌HANDS💚✋AND PUTS😍ME😌ON MY HANDS✋✋AND KNEES🧎🤗🥵😭😭😭
😇I’M🪽READY💪😍🥵🥵🥵💀🥹😬
I👁️⬅️SPREAD➡️MY😣🥵🍑✌️ASS🫏CHEEKS🍆🍑FOR💚😍😘SHREK🤪😱😬💕😨💚💚💚💚💚
💪😎HE💕💕🏹🍆PENETRATES🏹MY😫😖😫😖😫😖BUTTHOLE🍑🕳️😡😃🤪🥵😭😔😏💕
IT HURTS😫😵😪😱😱SO MUCH😱😱BUT🍑I🍆🍑DO IT🥰💕💕FOR😘😍💚SHREK💚😖🥵🤫🥴😃😃🥺
I🇨🇦CAN🥫🥹FEEL MY🥹🥰BUTT🍑😭TEARING🥵💕AS😿MY EYES👀START✨TO💧💧WATER😓😢🥵💚🥵🥰🥰
I PUSH➡️➡️💘AGAINST😱HIS😍FORCE💪💪🥵🥵😤😳
✌️I😬WANT😬TO PLEASE🥺💚🥺SHREK🥵😘👐😇😍💚💚💚
😌😇HE💚💕ROARS A😡😡💪MIGHTY ROAR🫨🤤AS💚HE😍💧FILLS💚MY🍑BUTT🍑WITH HIS💕💗LOVE💘🍆💕💘🥵🥰🥲
🥺MY👨DAD🤓🤡💀🤮WALKS🚶IN🤯🤐😡🤬😵
💕💘SHREK😻💋LOOKS👀🤢💀HIM🤬😠🤓➡️STRAIGHT➡️IN THE👀EYE👁️AND🗣️SAYS.👄"🙂ITS👏ALL👏👹OGRE💚🫡NOW🫥😱"😂🤣😱😱😱
💚🥵💕SHREK😇😍🥰💔LEAVES👋👋THROUGH🤫MY🥺🥺☹️WINDOW🪟👋🥺😞❤️❤️
💚😍SHREK🥰💚IS💕LOVE❤️❤️💋,😭😱SHREK🥵🥰IS🟰🛟LIFE🐣👏👏👏💋

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.

by Bbb23’s left testicle October 29, 2024

There’s monkeys in the walls

A diary of a wimpy kid reference that kids at my high school won’t stop mentioning. Originated from the seventh book, “The Third Wheel”, which I still think of as the new one despite there being like fifteen or twenty books in the series nowadays. Likely slowly spreading across the entire state of california as we speak.

Guy 1: THERE’S MONKEYS IN THE WALLS!
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: THERE’S MONEKYS! IN THE WALLS! (Louder!)
Guy 2: Bro, you’re going insane.
Guy 1: it’s bigger than black and white, I ate the whole whale’s life
Guy 2: I’m pretty sure it’s… uh… what the hell even is that from?
*Both random ventura county dudes die*

by Bbb23’s left testicle August 9, 2023

vancouveritis

Vancouveritis or Vancouverism, named after Vancouver, British Columbia, is the act of building large amounts of skyscrapers, etc, in an attempt to compact a city. This is generally done to preserve the nature around a city, but it generally fucks up the scenery, because now you can see the big-ass rectangles from the middle of the forest.
A similar phenomenon known as "Brusselization" has been observed in Belgium and other European countries.

Not even small British Columbia towns like Kamloops can escape the advance of Vancouveritis.

by Bbb23’s left testicle January 31, 2024