Bad C dev's definitions

fapinux

The act of using any *nix, including Unix, Linux, BSD, and other great works of art, to fap to your heart's content, knowing that it is impossible for the web browser to "infect" your computer with a Virus.

10 IQ porn addict: I use a fapindowton to fap because Microsoft makes the best products and Windows 10 is the best.
80 IQ porn addict: I use a fapintosh to fap so I don't get viruses and so that only Apple tracks my fetish habits.
110 IQ porn addict: I created a fapinux distro to optimize and automate fapping in my workflow. It is based on Talis Linux, and uses the TOR network for porn browsing, but I added init scripts to automatically pull up random porn websites and use facial recognition to select random pictures and videos of specific desired pornstars. I posted it to Github and Sourceforge to assist fellow fappers and promote the sanctity and holiness of the open-source movement. Now, every time I need dopamine, I just boot into fapinux and get busy in under 25 seconds. Who can say they have a more optimized workflow? Hmm? All those who dare to challenge me shall kneel before their lord, and likewise, I shall kneel before my lord, Richard Stallman.

by Bad C dev February 24, 2021

Richard Stallman

God on Earth. He is the Lord, who shall save humanity from its misogynistic tendencies towards proprietary software. The very atoms of his body are holy, and every time he chews his foot fungus he is actually sampling pure divinity. He shall correct all those who dare to misuse the phrase "GNU / Linux," owing to the fact that Linux is the kernel and GNU is the system of components forming the building blocks of the operating system. He is the shepherd of all flocks and varieties of people, namely those who recognize the superiority of GNU / Linux. Like any good shepherd, he shall never lead his people astray, never compromise his sacred beliefs, and always set a truly aspiring example of what people should aspire to become.

Random person: What are you doing?
GNU/Linux user: I am kneeling before my Lord, Richard Stallman. May the goodwill of free software everlast amidst the endless torrents and tirades of evil proprietary software.

by Bad C dev February 25, 2021

Qurangasm

Pronounced Quran-gasm, it describes an orgasm one attains from reading erotic sections of the Quran. Qurangasms are most common in female Muslims, although they can happen to anyone, especially if the person has a fetish for tiny bold words crammed as tight as possible on large sheets of paper with that beautiful sexy margin to give you space and room to think.

Jasmin: I had the best sex ever last night.
Erina: What did you do differently?
Jasmin: My hushand and I engaged in foreplay by reciting verses from the Quran prior to sex.
Erina: How did you stave off a Qurangasm?
Jasmin: I didn't. My husband gave me the best anal right as I orgasmed.
Erina: That's so hot.
*Jasmin and Erina make out because they are secretly star-crossed lesbian lovers.*

by Bad C dev February 26, 2021

ortographobia

Uncanny fear of spelling mistakes. You shit your pants whenever you try to spell a tough word like rhythm or psycho or weird or handkerchief or conscience because you fear you may spell it incorrectly. How little do you realize that noone gives a damn about spelling anymore? Let's just say that the siyko's weerd rithmic hangkarchif iz conshinse and call it a day, hm?

Man: I have ortographobia and I fear misspelling words.
Woman: I have ortographilia and misspelled words turn me on.

by Bad C dev February 26, 2021

ortographilia

When misspelled words turn you on, give you an erection, make you horny, induces masturbation, etc and etc.

Last night, urban dictionary got me so horny. I came hard to all the misspelled words as I have ortographilia.

by Bad C dev February 26, 2021

pornblog

A blog about porn. What did you expect? Go fuck yourself. Oh wait, you just did that yesterday. Pffft. When are you going to wake up and get a physical girlfriend instead of jacking off to Urban Dictionary definitions?!?! You have a life. Now, take control over it.

Urban Dictionary is like a super-massive star except that it's a super-massive pornblog. When too much iron forms, the rate of nuclear fusion in UD will slow down to a point where the outward pressure exerted by the fusion is insufficient to counteract the massive weight of the blog, resulting in a long-drawn-out collapse, leading to the formation of a black hole which will suck in everything within a few light-years. Then, its going to emit Hawking Radiation, leading to the resurrection of Steven Hawking, who will have newfound tractor beams coming from his eyes which he will use to control and subjugate his loyal servents. All hail Steven Hawking, future tyrant of the human race.

by Bad C dev February 26, 2021

T'Pol the Beautiful

A Vulcan science officer. One of the most beautiful women in star trek. Her real name is Jolean Blalock, but her natural body isn't half as sexy as when she put on 10 miles of makeup to become T'Pol.

Dude, I found this amazing T'pol the beautiful picture at tinyurl.com/55veserh and I came so hard. Pictures are worth a thousand videos because they force you to use your imagination, which stimulates dopamine production and makes the experience even more pleasureful.

by Bad C dev February 26, 2021