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Definitions by Apecreature

Human Bacterial Frappuccino 

1. A community hot tub used by many people and rarely cleaned.
2. A small tub or pool outdoors at a condo/apartment building definitely tainted with semen, blood, piss, shit, snot, and vomit from a variety of people.
"Make sure you wipe the greasy, brown foam off your body when you're done with the human bacterial frappuccino."
"You might want to stay away from that human bacterial frappuccino. My neighbor got hepatitis, tetanus, and pregnant the last time she used it."

Man Crayon 

A person who uses their anus to write or draw on any fixed object (ie. wall, car, castle door... etc.) while defecating.
"I hate my neighbor, so I wrote 'please leave' on his front door with my man crayon."
Man Crayon by Apecreature June 24, 2012

There, I fixed it. 

1.) A phrase used upon completion of any unconventional repair of a broken object. These repairs usually include, but are not limited to, duct tape, bungee cords and a hack saw.
2.) "There, I fixed it." may also be used after successfully attaching one item to another using the same unconventional, sometimes unethical, methods of taping, nailing, sawing, cramming, cutting and "resculpturing".
1.) "I have a huge crack in my windshield. Hand me that duct tape. There, I fixed it."

2.) "My doorbell stopped working, so I filled my garbage disposal with spoons, duct taped an old extension cord to the power switch, then ran the cord through a hole I drilled in the front door. All you gotta do is give the cord a little tug. There, I fixed it."

sock fossils 

Small pieces of lint that appear on your feet after removing your socks.
Hey, sucka... you should really wash your feet before putting on your flip-flops. Them sock fossils make you look like you have hobbit feet.
sock fossils by Apecreature June 16, 2011

cave paintings 

The beautiful designs and markings left on the inside of the toilet bowl after taking an extra-firm dump.
The firmness of the turd creates a "crayon effect".
Cave paintings will not wash away with flushing leaving but will deteriorate over time, leaving them for your friends and family to enjoy for days or weeks.
Wooo! That fudge dragon I pushed out of me left some cave paintings that looks like Charlie Sheen. Enjoy!
cave paintings by Apecreature June 16, 2011
A race of people from the Middle East that are ashamed of the actual country they come from. They use the term "Persian" because the world generally frowns on "Iranian" or "Iraqi" after 9/11.
Persians generally move to the U.S. while the entire family lives in the same house. They purchase expensive cars and clothes to show how "rich" they are.
Persians are easily spotted by the slick black hair, uni-brow, dark-complexion and INTENSE fragrance of cologne.
Persians may also be dressed in clothes that may look rediculous to one that is not accustomed to Persians, like black shirts with shiny gold images on them, mirror sun glasses and tight jeans with the trademark "artificial worn look" on the front.

Warning: Never try to sell anything to a Persian. Their overly-aggressive haggling will overwhelm a non-Persian. If you must, raise the price by 20% before and let them feel proud of how amazing they are at bargaining when you give them 10% off. They will feel like the Sultan of Persia, you will have made them paid more just for giving you such a hard time.

Iteresting Fact:
Some Persians males will go as far as to say they are "Italian" or "European" just to bang stupid white chicks because their family will never allow the banging of a non-Persian.
I was trying to sell my TV to this Persian guy. It took me 2 hours of his haggling to get me down to $150. I was going to sell it for $125, but when I saw he was Persian, I knew I was in for a ride.
Persian by Apecreature March 24, 2011

Me Monster 

1.) One who's world only consists of themself. Typically male.
2.) A person that speaks loudly about themselves and all their accomplishments for the sole purpose of demeaning others.
3.) see "douchbag"
ex. "You see that guy with the v-neck and the frapaccino? He's been talking about his new website like it's the new "facebook" for over an hour. I'm gonna stab that Me Monster in the face with this pen."

ex. "Holy shit! That guy just double-parked his BMW in a handicapped space at the retirement home to use the bathroom... AND he pissed all over the seat!!! What a Me Monster!!"

ex. "Hey, Me Monster! Your golf clubs aren't considered carry-on. Fuckin dick."
Me Monster by Apecreature March 23, 2011