Definitions by Anonymous submissions
Cockoo
When the male phallus inadvertently emergences through the gap in one’s boxer shorts, often unbeknownst to the owner, and hence resembling a cuckoo clock chiming.
Unlike a cuckoo clock, however, there is no pleasant sound, just the sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Unlike a cuckoo clock, however, there is no pleasant sound, just the sight of some reprobate’s rancid schwantz.
Lawyer 1: ‘so I said rather comically, ‘mens rea’ sounds like the sibling of Dire and Gonnie, and she said..’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’
Lawyer 2: ‘I’m sorry, Babs but I cannot concentrate because of your cockoo.’
Lawyer 1: ‘My cuckoo? I don’t have a pet cuckoo?’
Lawyer 2: ‘I said ‘cockoo’, Babs, you wankbiscuit. Your tallywhacker is making an appearance about as welcome as Adolf at my bar mitzvah’
Cockoo by Anonymous submissions January 11, 2024
refined sugar
Everyday sugar: ‘It’s my round mate, can I get you a pint?’
Refined sugar: ‘Can you ask the fine barkeep if he has any champagne from 1956? That was a truly delectable vintage.’
Everyday sugar: ‘Are you aware of how much of a massive cunt you actually are?’
Refined sugar: ‘Can you ask the fine barkeep if he has any champagne from 1956? That was a truly delectable vintage.’
Everyday sugar: ‘Are you aware of how much of a massive cunt you actually are?’
refined sugar by Anonymous submissions March 31, 2023
Death by a thousand cunts
Similar to the ancient Chinese slow form of torture, except more acknowledging that shagging 1000 gineys will both invariably take considerable time and leave the consumer with an array of diseases that will almost certainly lead to death. What a way to go though.
Babs: ‘What do you think would be the most cruel and unusual form of torture to use on Elton John?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
BD: ‘death by a thousand cunts would be nightmare fuel for that old crafty, surely?’
Babs: ‘cunts as in vaginas?’
BD: ‘Jesus Christ Babs, you schwantz. Yes, ‘cunts’ as in vaginas. What the fuck is wrong with you?’
Death by a thousand cunts by Anonymous submissions October 13, 2022
Discuntent
When a heterosexual male (or vaginatarian) is dissatisfied with the overall number of sexual conquests they have achieved to date i.e a down-in-the-dumps no-pumps chump
Bill: ‘Mate, can I talk to you? My discuntent keeps deteriorating so much that I’ve booked in for a penis extension’
Ted: ‘Ha!’
Bill: ‘I’m not joking, I’ve already got the appointment booked’
Ted: ‘It’s not that, I’m just surprised you think your tiny cock is the root cause of your discuntent, when it’s actually the fact that your face looks like it caught on fire and was put out with a bike chain’
Ted: ‘Ha!’
Bill: ‘I’m not joking, I’ve already got the appointment booked’
Ted: ‘It’s not that, I’m just surprised you think your tiny cock is the root cause of your discuntent, when it’s actually the fact that your face looks like it caught on fire and was put out with a bike chain’
Discuntent by Anonymous submissions June 2, 2021
Potteresque
Truly magical/indefinably awesome- a versatile term encompassing a wide range of classy actions and objects
Liverpool coming back from 3-0 down in the 2005 Champions League final to win it was a potteresque performance.
Potteresque by Anonymous submissions June 24, 2020
Day in loo
Similar to an unauthorised day in lieu, where one spends the day in a work cubicle playing phone games, searching for porn and thinking about urban dictionary definitions.
Boss: 'Are you taking another day in loo then, David?'
David: 'How'd you know, Boss?'
Boss: 'Partly because you missed the big meeting, but mainly cause you're absolutely covered in jizz, you reprobate'
David: 'How'd you know, Boss?'
Boss: 'Partly because you missed the big meeting, but mainly cause you're absolutely covered in jizz, you reprobate'
Day in loo by Anonymous submissions May 13, 2019
Spastamacunted
Luke: ''Look at Harry- he's so spastamacunted that he's basically become a puddle; I honestly can't tell where he ends and the vomit and semen begins.''
Harry: ''Please, I'm not drunk- I've been raped and have a head injury- I need a doctor''
Luke: ''Classic Harry- always joking around, covered in jizz''
Harry: ''Please, I'm not drunk- I've been raped and have a head injury- I need a doctor''
Luke: ''Classic Harry- always joking around, covered in jizz''
Spastamacunted by Anonymous submissions September 24, 2018