Anonymous submissions's definitions

Epping carnage poo

The official name for the London party borough of Epping, so named because the nightlife there is so wild that even the most reluctant of participants will inevitably lose their shit as the night progresses

'Jesus Christ almighty, what the fuck happened last night? Looks like the Epping carnage poo struck again because I've not only got memory loss but I also appear to have shat the bed. I say shat but it could be Nutella. (sniffs brown stain in question). Nope, it's definitely shit.'

by Anonymous submissions January 7, 2017

Day in loo

Similar to an unauthorised day in lieu, where one spends the day in a work cubicle playing phone games, searching for porn and thinking about urban dictionary definitions.

Boss: 'Are you taking another day in loo then, David?'
David: 'How'd you know, Boss?'
Boss: 'Partly because you missed the big meeting, but mainly cause you're absolutely covered in jizz, you reprobate'

by Anonymous submissions May 13, 2019

Sackreligious

When an atheist follows his sack and pretends to be religious in order to penetrate a good Christian girl.

'Dude, I got sackreligious yesterday and devirginated this smoking hot Christian girl. I would have had absolutely no chance had she not thought that I loved Jesus....and had a knife.'

by Anonymous submissions December 19, 2017

Wankerfied

To get so shitfaced that one behaves like a complete and utter wanker.

'Dude, I was so categorically wankerfied last night I tried to force feed my Nan my penis. That's why I always find the combination of open bar and open casket at the wake particularly dangerous.'

by Anonymous submissions December 20, 2017

Spazzle

To dazzle an individual or crowd with one's ability to act like a complete and utter spaz.

'Geez, I really managed to spazzle my boss at the work Christmas party last night- I got so shitfaced that I tried to covertly relieve myself in a coke bottle under the dinner table. In hindsight it was pretty ambitious to think that the poo would have been able to get through the coke bottle neck..'

by Anonymous submissions December 20, 2017

Potteresque

Truly magical/indefinably awesome- a versatile term encompassing a wide range of classy actions and objects

Liverpool coming back from 3-0 down in the 2005 Champions League final to win it was a potteresque performance.

by Anonymous submissions June 24, 2020

O.C.C.I.D

An acronym for the tragic and debilitating medical condition- Obsessive Compulsive Calendar Invite Dickhead. Sufferers are known to infuriatingly and incessantly send google calendar invites to acquaintances for even the most trivial of scheduled appointments, thus clogging up the unwilling recipients email, calendar and life. The only proven treatment is for the perpetrator to be euthanised.

Pottsy: 'It's your round, I'm going to go for a piss.'
George: 'Hang on, I need a piss too- I'll send you a calendar invite'
Pottsy: (farting disapprovingly) 'Your O.C.C.I.D. is next level...plus why the fuck does the calendar invite say 'Piss and Dutch rudder? It's not a Tuesday'

by Anonymous submissions December 6, 2017