Tough Mudder

A really difficult shit.

Aaron: “Where are you off to Janelle?”
Janelle: “I need to tame a beast, I’ve had a tough mudder brewing all morning. If I don’t hurry up it’s gonna turn into a mud slide!”

by Andos Hastos January 11, 2022

High five, show me you’re alive

An expression you use when you see someone you know down at the shops. This expression was founded in Knoxfield by a local legend, Aaron, who often gets ridiculed for owning the expression.

Random guy at shops: ‘Hey mate’.
Aaron: ‘High five, show me you’re alive’.
Random guy at shops meekly offers hand: ‘Yeah ok’

by Andos Hastos October 07, 2021

Mud gloves

Protective equipment required when delivering your mud luggage.

Mitch: “Hey Eliza, how do you reckon I make sure I don’t get any shit on my hands when I go on the mud run?”
Eliza: “I would wear the mud gloves you packed, num nuts!”

by Andos Hastos January 14, 2022

Stuck in the mud

When you are drunk and you’ve fucked up.

Karen; Who’s boat is this?
Jade: Oh you mean Mud Flaps. She’s ours. You’re a part owner. We bought it off Marketplace last night.
Karen: Oh fuck. You all got stuck in the mud last night!!

by Andos Hastos January 11, 2022

Nana

The sweetest lady you will ever meet. Gives the best cuddles, makes the best muffins. Creates the most special cards. Loves her family beyond measure. Puts up with Russell.

Random guy at Knoxfield shops: “Who’s that lady over there?”
“Oh that’s my Nana, she’s the best!”

by Andos Hastos November 01, 2021

Golden Child

First born child, always funny in his mum’s eyes, does nothing around the house besides getting in the way, PlayStation connoisseur.

Currently employed at the local private hospital, working as medical records eye candy/bitch. Mum is so proud as usual.

Mum: ‘Where’s my golden child?’
Everyone else: ‘He’s snorting a line off a Kmart plate.
Mum: ‘That’s my boy!’

by Andos Hastos October 07, 2021

Eliza

Twin 2. The Liza in Charliza. Funny, random, loyal and loving. Eliza is an ambitious, fast talking gal who ‘sings’ like Adele and ‘dances’ like Beyoncé. Eats dinner for breakfast and puts cheese on everything! Speeds like an F1 driver and dishes demerit points to family members. Easily triggered, click your fingernails and she will cut you. Most likely child to wipe parent’s bums in old age. Best footballer in the family. Loved by all who know her.

Random person: ‘Who’s that over there with the epic resting bitch face? She just ate a whole wheel of cheese!’

‘On that’s Eliza. She’s the best.’

by Andos Hastos October 12, 2021