Alfie the Horndog's definitions
The name Bill Cosby thought was his growing up. He thought his brothers name was "God Dammit".
According to Cosby's classic stand-up routine, his father would always yell at him and his brother.
Something like: "Jesus Christ, it's raining, get in here. God Dammit, you get in here too.".
But then one day he was playing in the yard alone and his father called him: "God Dammit, quit making such a racket!" Bill just stood there looking around for his brother. "God Dammit didn't you hear me?" yelled his father to which Bill replied, "But dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"
According to Cosby's classic stand-up routine, his father would always yell at him and his brother.
Something like: "Jesus Christ, it's raining, get in here. God Dammit, you get in here too.".
But then one day he was playing in the yard alone and his father called him: "God Dammit, quit making such a racket!" Bill just stood there looking around for his brother. "God Dammit didn't you hear me?" yelled his father to which Bill replied, "But dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"
Jesus Christ, the Simpsons are killing us in the ratings! God Dammit we're being forced into cancellation because of a stupid cartoon!
by Alfie The Horndog September 17, 2005
Get the Jesus Christmug. It's rigged. I mean think about it... over 60,000 people supposedly try out for it and yet they have so much early footage of people who make it to the top 12...
And they purposely let absolutely horrible singers through to see the judges, because mocking bad singers is a huge attraction to the show...
Also... notice the unusual balance of the runner ups and winners of the show... I mean first season... an attractive white young female wins - runner up is a young white male, then a large black male - runner up an geeky looking white male, then an average sized black female - runner up is a larger younger white female, then another attractive white female - runner up attractive white male, then an older white male - runner up a young white female.
In order to maintain this balance, I think the winner this year will be a young black male or female... and the only one who really matches this is Jordin Sparks. Go Jordin! Even if you were already selected to win, early on.
Despite being rigged though, it is pretty darn entertaining, if you don't have anything better to do.
And they purposely let absolutely horrible singers through to see the judges, because mocking bad singers is a huge attraction to the show...
Also... notice the unusual balance of the runner ups and winners of the show... I mean first season... an attractive white young female wins - runner up is a young white male, then a large black male - runner up an geeky looking white male, then an average sized black female - runner up is a larger younger white female, then another attractive white female - runner up attractive white male, then an older white male - runner up a young white female.
In order to maintain this balance, I think the winner this year will be a young black male or female... and the only one who really matches this is Jordin Sparks. Go Jordin! Even if you were already selected to win, early on.
Despite being rigged though, it is pretty darn entertaining, if you don't have anything better to do.
by Alfie The Horndog March 10, 2007
Get the American Idolmug. Another way of spelling "window". It must be ok, because if you google "windwow" you come up with thousands and thousands of hits - even linked to companies who manufacture and sell windows.
This word originated back in the early '70s when my sister typed up a Christmas poem parody I wrote called "Christmas in the '70s" as a parody of "T'was the Night Before Christmas".
Anyway, the last lines in the poem went like this:
He staggared to his sleigh and his team made a fixture,
And away they all flew, like a horror picture.
But I heard him exclaim, from his sleigh window sill,
"I'll sue you if you don't pay the bill!"
But she made a typo when she typed "window"... she actually typed "windwow". In fact that was the only mistake she made in typing up the entire thing. This was like the fourth time she had typed it in because I complained about other typos in previous drafts.
So when I complained about "windwow", she grabbed it and put a line through the second "w" and gave it back to me, and that's when I realized that she wasn't going to type it in a fifth time. I think it was at that very moment when I ceased in being a perfectionist.
Anyway, since that fateful day, whenever I wrote the words "window" or "windows", I intentionally spelled it "windwow" or "windwows" instead. This is especially noteworthy since I now work as a columnist for a computer magazine and have to write things about Microsoft Windwows a lot. It drives my editor crazy.
This word originated back in the early '70s when my sister typed up a Christmas poem parody I wrote called "Christmas in the '70s" as a parody of "T'was the Night Before Christmas".
Anyway, the last lines in the poem went like this:
He staggared to his sleigh and his team made a fixture,
And away they all flew, like a horror picture.
But I heard him exclaim, from his sleigh window sill,
"I'll sue you if you don't pay the bill!"
But she made a typo when she typed "window"... she actually typed "windwow". In fact that was the only mistake she made in typing up the entire thing. This was like the fourth time she had typed it in because I complained about other typos in previous drafts.
So when I complained about "windwow", she grabbed it and put a line through the second "w" and gave it back to me, and that's when I realized that she wasn't going to type it in a fifth time. I think it was at that very moment when I ceased in being a perfectionist.
Anyway, since that fateful day, whenever I wrote the words "window" or "windows", I intentionally spelled it "windwow" or "windwows" instead. This is especially noteworthy since I now work as a columnist for a computer magazine and have to write things about Microsoft Windwows a lot. It drives my editor crazy.
by Alfie The Horndog October 2, 2007
Get the windwowmug. by Alfie The Horndog September 22, 2005
Get the hulkmug. Singer, songwriter, formally of Simon and Garfunkle. Had a huge string of folksy hit songs spanning more than four decades. Wrote most of the songs for the movie "The Graduate".
He's really short... almost like a midget.
He's really short... almost like a midget.
Paul Simon songs:
"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" (1975)
"The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)" (1966)
"Ace In The Hole" (1979)
"All Around The World Or The Myth Of Fingerprints" (1986)
"America" (1968)
"American Tune" (1973)
"Anna Belle" (as Jerry Landis, 1959)
"April Come She Will" (1965)
"Armistice Day" (1972)
"At The Zoo" (1966)
"Baby Driver" (1968)
"The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine" (1966)
"Bleecker Street" (1963)
"Blessed" (1965)
"Bookends" (1968)
"Born At The Right Time" (1990)
"The Boxer" (1968)
"The Boy In The Bubble" (1986)
"Bridge Over Troubled Water" (1969)
"Carlos Dominguez" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"Cards Of Love" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Cars Are Cars" (1983)
"Cecilia" (1969)
"A Church Is Burning" (1965)
"Citizen Of The Planet" (1983)
"Cloudy" (with Bruce Woodley, 1965)
"Congratulations" (1971)
"Crazy Love, Vol. II" (1986)
"Cry, Little Boy, Cry" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Cuba Si, Nixon No" (1969)
"Dancin' Wild" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1957)
"The Dangling Conversation" (1966)
"Darling Lorraine" (2000)
"Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes" (1986)
"Dori Anne" (as Jerry Landis, with David Winters and J. Kay, 1963)
"Duncan" (1972)
"El Cóndor Pasa (If I Could)" (English lyric only, 1969)
"Everything Put Together Falls Apart" (1972)
"Express Train" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Fakin' It" (1967)
"Father And Daughter" (2006)
"Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall" (1965)
"For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her" (1966)
"Get Up And Do The Wobble" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"The Girl For Me" (with Art Garfunkel, 1955)
"God Bless The Absentee" (1980)
"Gone At Last" (1975)
"Graceland" (1986)
"Gumboots" (1986)
"A Hazy Shade Of Winter" (1966)
"He Was My Brother" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"Hearts And Bones" (1983)
"Hey, Schoolgirl" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1957)
"Homeless" (1986)
"Homeward Bound" (1965)
"How The Heart Approaches What It Yearns" (1980)
"I Am A Rock" (1965)
"I Don't Believe Them" (as Jerry Landis, 1961)
"I Know What I Know" (1986)
"I Wish You Could Be Here" (with Bruce Woodley, 1965)
"Jonah" (1980)
"Just A Boy" (as Jerry Landis, 1960)
"Kathy's Song" (1965)
"Keep The Customer Satisfied" (1970)
"Kodachrome" (1973)
"The Late, Great, Johnny Ace" (1981)
"Late In The Evening" (1980)
"Learn How To Fall" (1972)
"Leaves That Are Green" (1965)
"Lisa" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"The Lone Teen Ranger" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Loneliness" (as Jerry Landis, 1959)
"Long, Long Day" (1980)
"Loves Me Like A Rock" (1973)
"Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard" (1971)
"A Most Peculiar Man" (1965)
"Mother And Child Reunion" (1972)
"Motorcycle" (as Jerry Landis, 1961)
"Mrs. Robinson" (1967)
"My Little Town" (1975)
"Night Game" (1975)
"Nobody" (1980)
"Noise" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Oh, Marion" (1980)
"Old Friends" (1968)
"One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor" (1973)
"One-Trick Pony" (1979)
"The Only Living Boy In New York" (1969)
"Our Song" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Papa Hobo" (1972)
"Paranoia Blues" (1972)
"Patterns" (1965)
"Peace Like A River" (1972)
"Play Me A Sad Song" (1961)
"A Poem On The Underground Wall" (1966)
"(Pretty Baby) Don't Say Goodbye" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Punky's Dilemma" (1967)
"Rene and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After The War" (1983)
"Richard Cory" (1965)
"Run That Body Down" (1972)
"Shy" (as Jerry Landis, 1960)
"The Side Of A Hill" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"A Simple Desultory Philippic" (various subtitles, 1965 and 1966)
"Slip Slidin' Away" (1977)
"So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright" (1970)
"Soft Parachutes" (1981)
"Somewhere They Can't Find Me" (1964 and 1965)
"Something So Right" (1973)
"Song For The Asking" (1969)
"The Sounds Of Silence" (1964)
"Sparrow" (1964)
"Spirit Voices" (1990)
"St. Judy's Comet" (1973)
"Still Crazy After All These Years" (1975)
"Stranded In A Limousine" (1977)
"Take Me To The Mardi Gras" (1972)
"That's Where I Belong" (2000)
"That's Why God Made The Movies" (1980)
"That Was Your Mother" (1986)
"The Teacher" (2000)
"Teen Age Fool" (1958)
"Tenderness" (1973)
"That's My Story" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Think Too Much" (1983)
"Train In The Distance" (1983)
"Was A Sunny Day" (1973)
"Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M." (1964)
"We've Got A Groovey Thing Goin'" (1965)
"Why Do You Live In The Northeast" (2005)
"Why Don't You Write Me" (1969)
"Wild Flower" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"You Can Call Me Al" (1986)
"You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies" (1966)
"50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" (1975)
"The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)" (1966)
"Ace In The Hole" (1979)
"All Around The World Or The Myth Of Fingerprints" (1986)
"America" (1968)
"American Tune" (1973)
"Anna Belle" (as Jerry Landis, 1959)
"April Come She Will" (1965)
"Armistice Day" (1972)
"At The Zoo" (1966)
"Baby Driver" (1968)
"The Big Bright Green Pleasure Machine" (1966)
"Bleecker Street" (1963)
"Blessed" (1965)
"Bookends" (1968)
"Born At The Right Time" (1990)
"The Boxer" (1968)
"The Boy In The Bubble" (1986)
"Bridge Over Troubled Water" (1969)
"Carlos Dominguez" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"Cards Of Love" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Cars Are Cars" (1983)
"Cecilia" (1969)
"A Church Is Burning" (1965)
"Citizen Of The Planet" (1983)
"Cloudy" (with Bruce Woodley, 1965)
"Congratulations" (1971)
"Crazy Love, Vol. II" (1986)
"Cry, Little Boy, Cry" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Cuba Si, Nixon No" (1969)
"Dancin' Wild" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1957)
"The Dangling Conversation" (1966)
"Darling Lorraine" (2000)
"Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes" (1986)
"Dori Anne" (as Jerry Landis, with David Winters and J. Kay, 1963)
"Duncan" (1972)
"El Cóndor Pasa (If I Could)" (English lyric only, 1969)
"Everything Put Together Falls Apart" (1972)
"Express Train" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Fakin' It" (1967)
"Father And Daughter" (2006)
"Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall" (1965)
"For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her" (1966)
"Get Up And Do The Wobble" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"The Girl For Me" (with Art Garfunkel, 1955)
"God Bless The Absentee" (1980)
"Gone At Last" (1975)
"Graceland" (1986)
"Gumboots" (1986)
"A Hazy Shade Of Winter" (1966)
"He Was My Brother" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"Hearts And Bones" (1983)
"Hey, Schoolgirl" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1957)
"Homeless" (1986)
"Homeward Bound" (1965)
"How The Heart Approaches What It Yearns" (1980)
"I Am A Rock" (1965)
"I Don't Believe Them" (as Jerry Landis, 1961)
"I Know What I Know" (1986)
"I Wish You Could Be Here" (with Bruce Woodley, 1965)
"Jonah" (1980)
"Just A Boy" (as Jerry Landis, 1960)
"Kathy's Song" (1965)
"Keep The Customer Satisfied" (1970)
"Kodachrome" (1973)
"The Late, Great, Johnny Ace" (1981)
"Late In The Evening" (1980)
"Learn How To Fall" (1972)
"Leaves That Are Green" (1965)
"Lisa" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"The Lone Teen Ranger" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Loneliness" (as Jerry Landis, 1959)
"Long, Long Day" (1980)
"Loves Me Like A Rock" (1973)
"Me And Julio Down By The Schoolyard" (1971)
"A Most Peculiar Man" (1965)
"Mother And Child Reunion" (1972)
"Motorcycle" (as Jerry Landis, 1961)
"Mrs. Robinson" (1967)
"My Little Town" (1975)
"Night Game" (1975)
"Nobody" (1980)
"Noise" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"Oh, Marion" (1980)
"Old Friends" (1968)
"One Man's Ceiling Is Another Man's Floor" (1973)
"One-Trick Pony" (1979)
"The Only Living Boy In New York" (1969)
"Our Song" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Papa Hobo" (1972)
"Paranoia Blues" (1972)
"Patterns" (1965)
"Peace Like A River" (1972)
"Play Me A Sad Song" (1961)
"A Poem On The Underground Wall" (1966)
"(Pretty Baby) Don't Say Goodbye" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Punky's Dilemma" (1967)
"Rene and Georgette Magritte With Their Dog After The War" (1983)
"Richard Cory" (1965)
"Run That Body Down" (1972)
"Shy" (as Jerry Landis, 1960)
"The Side Of A Hill" (as Paul Kane, 1963)
"A Simple Desultory Philippic" (various subtitles, 1965 and 1966)
"Slip Slidin' Away" (1977)
"So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright" (1970)
"Soft Parachutes" (1981)
"Somewhere They Can't Find Me" (1964 and 1965)
"Something So Right" (1973)
"Song For The Asking" (1969)
"The Sounds Of Silence" (1964)
"Sparrow" (1964)
"Spirit Voices" (1990)
"St. Judy's Comet" (1973)
"Still Crazy After All These Years" (1975)
"Stranded In A Limousine" (1977)
"Take Me To The Mardi Gras" (1972)
"That's Where I Belong" (2000)
"That's Why God Made The Movies" (1980)
"That Was Your Mother" (1986)
"The Teacher" (2000)
"Teen Age Fool" (1958)
"Tenderness" (1973)
"That's My Story" (as Jerry Landis, and with Art Garfunkel as Tommy Graph, 1958)
"Think Too Much" (1983)
"Train In The Distance" (1983)
"Was A Sunny Day" (1973)
"Wednesday Morning, 3 A.M." (1964)
"We've Got A Groovey Thing Goin'" (1965)
"Why Do You Live In The Northeast" (2005)
"Why Don't You Write Me" (1969)
"Wild Flower" (as Jerry Landis, 1962)
"You Can Call Me Al" (1986)
"You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies" (1966)
by Alfie The Horndog April 22, 2008
Get the Paul Simonmug. Full name: Veronica Lodge. In the popular Archie comics, Betty's arch nemesis for Archie's affections.
Also refers to a any prude who's idea of passion is a friendly hug.
Also refers to a any prude who's idea of passion is a friendly hug.
by Alfie The Horndog November 30, 2005
Get the Veronicamug. World famous opera singer from Spain. Considered by many to be the best female soprano in the industry.
by Alfie The Horndog April 26, 2006
Get the Alessandra Marcmug.