Definitions by Alfie the Horndog

Asgard 

Historical protectors of the Nordic realm. Obviously better than the Greek counterparts, since Nordic men as far less gay.

Erik The Red wasn't as gay as Alexander The Great because the Nordic warriors were equipped with better ass-guards.

Asgard by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005

honey of a 

Slang from the 50's and early 60's. Used to decribe something pleasing or good.

Our high school had a honey of a gym.

honey of a by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005

captain kirk 

William Shatners role on the legendary original series Star Trek. The Captain never failed at anything, always got the girl (even when she had blue skin) and was the only starfleet cadet to ever beat the Kibiyoshi Maru (by cheating), a simulation designed to test how a cadet responds to failure. He's famous for dramatic pauses, which Shatner is also famous for. Was promoted to Admiral in the course of the Star Trek movies, but then demoted back to captain in a later Star Trek movie.

but Spock.........................................................................................why?

captain kirk by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005

Captain Kirk smirk 

A look of self-satisfaction after just defeating your nemesis. Named after the legendary Captain Kirk.

Me: Everything I tell you is a lie. Now listen carefully.. I'm lying right now...

My last Date (who looks like she could have been a Stepford Wife): Error! Error! Does not compute.

I leave with a big captain kirk smirk as my date, who was acting like a total fucktard by not wanting to have casual sex with me starts emitting sparks and smoke from every orifice in her body.

Captain Kirk smirk by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005

garage

French word for car hold.

Ze terrorists.. zay give me ze humm vee taken from ze american troops, but zhes so beeg zhe does not fit in ze garage.

garage by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005

chantese jazz 

A light, easy listening form of vocal jazz. Known as chantese because the words are short, descriptive, poetic and sometime repetative. Usually sung by a sexy single female lead.

Female nightclub singers are often classified as chantese jazz artists.

chantese jazz by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005

Sims 

Stupid, pointless computer game. Enjoyed only by useless underachievers with "god" complexes. Watching an ant farm with a magnifying glass is more entertaining.

Stupid Sims Gamer: I'm so excited now that I got the latest expansion pack for the Sims!!

Me: You are one a pathetic loser.

Sims by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005