Alfie The Horndog's definitions

homophobe

Someone who wears an asgard to protect their virgin cheeks.

Although Thor insisted he wasn't a homophobe, he never failed to wear his asgard during battle.

by Alfie The Horndog March 24, 2007

Swing Out Sister

British band featuring the vocals of Corrine Drewery. Never does the same music genre twice - they like to experiment. Very popular in Japan. Twice the size of average bands which sometimes prevents them from touring. Generally described as Chantese Jazz.

Popular songs:

Now You're Not Here (#1 International Hit)
Breakout
Twilight World

Some Enya fanboy: SOS is ok, but their sound is so synthesized. I like Enya better because she's got such a natural sound.

Swing Out Sister fanboy: You DO know that Enya is 100% synthesized, right? I mean even her vocals are enhanced by computer. She can't even tour because her sound is impossible to create outside of the music studio. On the other hand, SOS has a 10-peice band with all real instruments with one of the best keyboardists in the world.

by Alfie The Horndog September 5, 2005

steelwool

Long continuous shaving of steel, iron or copper that is wrapped up in balls and sold in hardware stores.

Used for scrubbing, cleaning and buffing just about anything, they are avaliable in different thickness from super-coarse for scrubbing pots to ultra-fine for buffing balsa wood.

The ultra-fine stuff can bet set on fire with a nine-volt battery for cool firey and smokey effects. See wooley rocket.

Steelwool is very useful for electrically lighting fuses from a safe distance.

by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006

bombard with high level microwaves

This is what happens to people when you stand on a chair while wiggling your pinky at them.

Rusty the clown stood on a chair and proceeded to bombard with high level microwaves everyone who passed by. Unfortunately he did not realize that the chair seat was contaminated with uranium 235 and he died of radiation poisoning two days later.

by Alfie The Horndog October 18, 2008

Emily Post

The woman who literally wrote the book on etiquette. Also used as an antonym for anyone who has bad manners or doesn't care about manners.

You don't seem like the Emily Post type, so I'll go ahead and tell you the dirty joke.

by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006

wolfsbane

A flowering plant found in damp areas of the foothills of mountainous regions in Europe and Asia. It is a member of the buttercup family.

The roots of this plant are a powerful neurotoxin. A piece of the root half the size of a grain of rice can kill an adult human within five seconds. The military has adapted this neurotoxin in gaseous form for chemical warfare.

In Roman times it was used by the lady Lydia to poison anyone who posed a threat to her son Tiberius becoming Emperor. She even used it to kill her own husband.

Diluted, the roots can be used topically as a local anesthetic and numbing agent. It is an active ingredient in many over the counter nerve pain homeopathic remedies.

I gave my mother-in-law a wolfsbane plant for her birthday, but unfortunately she didn't eat it.

by Alfie The Horndog September 11, 2010