8 definitions by Alastair

Top Definition
a total thievin wee gypsy alcky bastard
as in 'see they wee ned cunts outside parkhead wi the white lightnin an kappa tracksuits, they're a right bunch o fuckin jakeys!'
by Alastair November 22, 2003
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This is a chunder or puke which is invoked voluntarily through the use of a physical or physchological trigger such as shoving fingers down throat/drinking salty water or imagining eating slugs/watching your grandparents have kinky sex. The tactical chunder is widely regarded as an essential whitey management skill which can, in the right hands, prove to be the turning point for a particularly brutal session.

Those skilled enough to manage this procedure are likely to be well versed in advanced whitey management. However, for the beginner, basic post-tactical chunder guidelines should include: removal of excess sheen; consumption of fresh air, water and possibly even some solids; laying off the bong for at least 15 minutes.

Viewed as repulsive and sacrilegious by many, a voluntary tactical chunder is a far better alternative to the onset of a full-blown whitey and its associated perils. However, for those who have seen the light (and are capable of pre-whitey self-diagnosis), employment of the tactical chunder will continue to bring significant rewards.
Despite feeling a bit queasy, I took the mixed bong from Robbie and sucked it to death. Immediately, I could feel the beginnings of a potentially lethal whitey - light-headedness, churning stomach and full-body sheen. I made a swift dash to the toilet and performed a tactical chunder.
by Alastair November 17, 2003
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The degraded mental and physical state of existence which occurs following a twisted session of intoxication. Extreme gurning, severe bad breath and absence of any communication skills are key factors in determining whether a person is truly 'badger-fucked'. However, this condition naturally lends itself to self-diagnosis - sometimes only the victim can fully assess their own shambolic state.

This condition is exclusively the result of excessive (and sometimes mixed) drug taking - usually focussing around a party or clubbing night. Moderate alcohol consumption and all-night dancing, fuelled by Ecstacy, leave the individual thoroughly monged and perilously close to the edge. In this situation, the smoking of a large cannabis reefer or bong is most likely to ensure progression to a state of 'badger-fucked'.

Basic whitey management should be employed at all stages to avoid early disaster.
Dropping in the Absinthe Bar got things started and Harding's stomping set did the business, so we were pretty monged as we shambled back to the Bulldog sometime after 6am. The bong immediately made an entrance and 45 minutes later I was absolutely badger-fucked.
by Alastair November 12, 2003
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A whole lot of friction down there. Also known as outercourse.

See also Rubs Merchant
Alastair loves to welsome new friends by giving them dirty rubs.
by Alastair February 25, 2004
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To overreach and defeat oneself by seeking to do too much. By trying to go that extra mile, all the previous hard work is undone and the individual is left feeling humiliated.

This is often seen after an evening of drinking when, fuelled by dutch courage, one feels it necessary to take a gargantuan toke on the reefer. Such foolhardy bravado can rapidly lead to an alcohol-induced whitey - the most dangerous kind. In the case of chasing young ladies, males may get so desperate for some action that they uber-gag (one too many phonecall) and blow any chance they once had.

The more desperate one becomes to achieve a particular goal, the closer one gets to uber-gagging and the more likely it is to happen. Consequently, there is a point of no return, after which the uber-gag is guaranteed to occur. In situation like this, one option is to attack the uber-gag head-on, ignore the impending issues and revel in the unadulterated moment of excess. The resulting positive vibe has been known to greatly reduce the negative physchological effects of the uber-gag and is always likely to elicit a cheer from anyone in the vicinity.
In an attempt to go sub 2, the Colonel uber-gagged on his final yard visit and suffered some serious fizzback.
by Alastair November 19, 2003
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Commonly used to descirbe lunchtime destination in WHitley BAy High School.

The white television = Whitley Bay

The green radio = sainsburys

Vender Mish = Vending machines

Maverick aka magic mathers, randy andy and andrew mathers = Andy Mathers

Du Le Cantina = The cantine

Jockstraps chippery = Jockeys Whips

The fronteir of all destinations = front street aka fronters
by Alastair December 10, 2004
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See mash.
He was completely mashed up.
by Alastair November 19, 2003
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