Al Benedict's definitions
by Al Benedict June 23, 2012

A bruise that consists of an inner white circle (dead skin) surrounded by a blue ring (regular bruise) surrounded by a red ring (pissed off capillaries).
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
Red, white and blue. Get it?
A badge of honor in close contact, high velocity sports like Racquetball.
by Al Benedict October 18, 2020

Telling someone that the solution to a problem is to simply not do anything that exposes the flaw that causes the problem. From the old Henny Youngman joke: "Doctor, it hurts when I do this!" "Don't do that." Usually, but not always, associated with computers.
"The program crashes when I try to print!"
"Don't try to print."
"Do you have a real solution or just a Henny Youngman solution?"
"Don't try to print."
"Do you have a real solution or just a Henny Youngman solution?"
by Al Benedict January 4, 2008

In theory, any form of Rock and Roll that requires a prefix to add focus: Emo Rock, Folk Rock, Punk Rock etc. In practice, a term used to describe a form of rock music that the speaker doesn't consider "authentic".
by Al Benedict April 4, 2008

Someone that is terribly, terribly offended at the very thought of being accused of being a NIMBY, but refuses on the grounds of "reasonable concerns" to allow any development in their area.
"OMG. The Traffic!"
"Been studied. It will be fine."
"OMG. The Sewage!"
"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."
"OMG! My view!"
"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."
"Why are you being this way?"
"Because you're a total cryptonimby"
"Been studied. It will be fine."
"OMG. The Sewage!"
"We're only using 1/3 of what we have."
"OMG! My view!"
"Of what? You won't even be able see it through your trees."
"Why are you being this way?"
"Because you're a total cryptonimby"
by Al Benedict October 26, 2018

Term used to identify recent arrivals to upper class areas in San Francisco nervous that they don't fit in.
Do they freak out and correct you when you use it? You've found a newbie.
Do they freak out and correct you when you use it? You've found a newbie.
Bob: "Nice weather for Frisco"
Bill: "Never call it Frisco! It's an insult! Only people that aren't from around here use the term!"
Bob: "How long have you lived here?"
Bill: "Three years. More than enough to be a local."
Bill: "Never call it Frisco! It's an insult! Only people that aren't from around here use the term!"
Bob: "How long have you lived here?"
Bill: "Three years. More than enough to be a local."
by Al Benedict September 17, 2013

An unreasonable request added to a task by someone who wishes you to fail. From the Monty Python "Knights who say Ni" sketch.
Bob: "In order to convince me that global warming is real, you will have to show that all temperatures everywhere on the globe are setting records at all times."
Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
Bill: "Uh huh. Would you like a Shrubbery as well?"
by Al Benedict June 28, 2013
