Definitions by AYYFRON

emotionally stunted 

An adult, most commonly a male, who has never fully developed or matured emotionally and is characterized by a low degree of self awareness, awkward interactions with other people, a lack of empathy and an inability to achieve intimacy.

Gary: "Ken, I hate to be the one to tell you this but Uncle Gilbert has cancer."

Ken: "More cottage cheese and peaches."

Gary: "Excuse me?"

Ken: "More cottage cheese and peaches. Bring me some."

Gary: "Ken, dude, you are emotionally stunted."

emotionally stunted by AYYFRON March 31, 2011

consultish 

A gibberish language spoken by management consultants

Consultant: ..and then, if we invert your product matrix and relocate 5000 jobs to China, we can boost ROE by 50% to 13% while increasing upper management pay packages by 200%.

Normal person: Ummm, I'm sorry, what language are you speaking in?

Consultant: Consultish

consultish by AYYFRON March 10, 2011

cauwl 

call said with a New York accent

Give me a cauwl tomorrow and we'll tauwk.

cauwl by AYYFRON February 23, 2011

thanks for reaching out

The most obnoxious possible reply to someone who has contacted you, often used in professional settings.

Hi John, thanks for reaching out. I'm quite busy right now on many important projects. Why don't you reach out to me again at this time next year and see if I have a couple of free minutes then. Or, better yet, how about never? Does never work for you?

thanks for reaching out by AYYFRON January 27, 2011

smiling bitch 

A rude, nasty, verbally aggressive person (usually a woman but not always) who makes snide comments through a fake, neocortex smile.

Normal Person: I talked to someone at the baggage claim who said that they would have my bag ready within four hours.

Smiling Bitch: Oh. Well, I guess that they must have been wrong.

Normal Personal: Why are you smiling?

Smiling bitch: Because I'm not just a bitch, hon, I'm a smiling bitch.

smiling bitch by AYYFRON January 27, 2011

Neocortex Smile 

When the brain tells the mouth to arrange itself in smile position but forgets to tell the rest of the face (eyes, temples etc.) to do the same. Sometimes revealing the lower teeth, it is often menacing and always insincere.

When her ex-boyfriend unexpectedly showed up at the party, she put on a brave, neocortex smile but her eyes revealed her inner distress.

"Have a nice day" the receptionist said for the 30th time that day through her plastic, neocortex smile.

Neocortex Smile by AYYFRON January 26, 2011

Grumpy bomb 

Dropping explosive negativity on an otherwise neutral or positive conversation.

We were sitting around the table having a nice conversation about all the great movies out right now when Leila came in the kitchen and dropped a grumpy bomb on us.

Grumpy bomb by AYYFRON January 17, 2011