Bullshit Cordon Bleu

When someone makes you an offer that may look okay with some good points, but really... its stuffed with Bullshit!

My employer gave me an offer for a 6% raise this year with 10% matching 401k. However, I do have to shave his asshole and wax his balls, talk about Bullshit Cordon Bleu

by 1badparatrooper July 30, 2019

Rectify

To fix something by shoving it way up your rectum.

This baseball bat is bent. Here help me rectify it. MMMmm, ohhhhhhh, unggggggg. Oh yeah. That's better.

by 1badparatrooper August 13, 2019

Tainted

To rub something vigorously on one's taint.

This meat we're eating smells awful. OH SHIT!!! IT'S BEEN TAINTED !!!!!

by 1badparatrooper August 13, 2019

Kentucky plug

When you stick your thumb up your girlfriends butt SO HARD during sex that she starts screaming Scott's name and you just decide to roll with it.

I gave Megan the Kentucky Plug again last night. I'm starting to wonder who Scott is.

by 1badparatrooper May 21, 2021

Dirty pigeon

When a hobo takes a monstrous dump in the planter at the bar you're drinking at.

We were enjoying our fish and chips when a hobo dropped a dirty pigeon and ruined the whole day.

by 1badparatrooper July 23, 2019

The Hard Cooler

When a man takes a couple viagra, dips his erection into an ice cold beverage, then plunges his unit into his unsuspecting lover. This results in discomfort, a frozen anus or vagina, and usually ends with the victim pulling a hammy.

We were cuddling by the fire until Milo bent me over and gave me the hard cooler. I pulled a hammy.

by 1badparatrooper July 14, 2019

Forced vital queef

When a vagina is suspected to be chronically underperforming, this is a test to quantify the vaginas strength and, viability.

Sabrina, your vagina has been floppy for years. Its time to get a forced vital queef.

by 1badparatrooper July 12, 2024