A spousal eunuch is virtually identical to the 'spousal unit', but without the sex. Unlike ordinary eunuchs, spousal eunuchs usually have existing and potentially functional genitalia, but have stopped fucking their significant other for reasons which do not pertain to physical endowment.
I've been banging this married chick because her spousal eunuch can't get a boner without first being subjected to sexual domination. How refreshing it must be for her to get laid by a dude who doesn't have a ball gag lodged in his cake hole!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 20, 2010
Get the spousal eunuchmug. by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 07, 2025
Get the Larry'dmug. v. - monkey vining is the act of transitioning from one relationship to another by retaining some form of connection to both people simultaneously. Only when the new relationship is reasonably solidified is the former one wholly released.
To grasp the metaphor of the monkey vine in its entirety, one may simply visualize the mode of transport utilized by Tarzan and his jungle primate colleagues in old movies. The vine that is being swung on is firmly held until another vine is being grasped, or at least is easily reachable.
To grasp the metaphor of the monkey vine in its entirety, one may simply visualize the mode of transport utilized by Tarzan and his jungle primate colleagues in old movies. The vine that is being swung on is firmly held until another vine is being grasped, or at least is easily reachable.
person one:
Hey man, do you think Brad Pitt was monkey vining from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie?
person two:
Actually dude, I don't give a shit about what's happening in the love lives of these celebrities. 9/11 was an inside job, and fluoride is making Americans stupid. Maybe you should monkey vine your ass from US Weekly to some web sites that will enlighten your ass on things that are truly relevant to our lives!
Hey man, do you think Brad Pitt was monkey vining from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie?
person two:
Actually dude, I don't give a shit about what's happening in the love lives of these celebrities. 9/11 was an inside job, and fluoride is making Americans stupid. Maybe you should monkey vine your ass from US Weekly to some web sites that will enlighten your ass on things that are truly relevant to our lives!
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. June 11, 2008
Get the monkey viningmug. An alternate word for aviator-style sunglasses with very dark or mirrored lenses.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
While assholes are worn by people from all walks of life, these are the primary wearers: pigs, pretty much everyone in the movie Top Gun (chicks included), obese motorcyclists, rent-a-cops, yacht owners, hipsters, construction workers, and aging retirees who like to fish and drink watery American piss-beer.
Assholes may also worn by non-assholes for the ironic effect.
I saw a cop fall off his horse and land face first. His assholes did not survive.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
Some dude on a Harley get pooped on by a flock of birds. Fortunately, his eyes were protected from the milky fecal rain by a sweet pair of assholes.
Did you notice any identifying traits of the fisherman who was masturbating in his boat? Could you see his eye color perhaps?
No, because he was sporting a dark pair of assholes. I did, however, notice that he had a summer length sack.
Disgusting!
Yes...yes it was...and come to think of it, he looked just like the drummer from that really shitty band...
Let me take a guess: 311?
YES! How did you know?
Those guys are wanted for all kids of weird sex crimes...mostly necro-beastiality and pedophilia. One day we'll get them.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. May 08, 2010
Get the assholesmug. An alternate term for resin; specifically, the resin left behind on smoking paraphernalia as a by-product of cannabinoid consumption.
In desperate times, Dangus often found himself smoking poor man's hash off of old pipe screens as ghetto wind chimes rang out in the distance, a sure sign that cracktivities were transpiring on the stinking streets of Memphis.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. April 14, 2010
Get the poor man's hashmug. This term refers to a baby-sized penis which is located on the crotch of a full-grown man.
Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.
This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.
Most of the major military conflicts in recorded history can probably be blamed on the occurrence of the crotch nipple. There are many crotch nipples in the world, and they are all due to mindless cruelty on the part of God, who does not actually exist.
This term was first coined by hecKtor Dangus in 1991 upon his first viewing of a videotaped performance by GG Allin, for reasons which are readily apparent to anyone who has ever seen GG in the nude.
Confucius say, "man with crotch nipple much more likely to join Marines".
If a man with a crotch nipple were to play his cards right at the dyke bar, he might get lucky with a lipstick lesbian who has a penchant for large clitori.
If a man with a crotch nipple were to play his cards right at the dyke bar, he might get lucky with a lipstick lesbian who has a penchant for large clitori.
by Lârry Dângüs, esq. July 14, 2010
Get the crotch nipplemug. by Lârry Dângüs, esq. August 27, 2013
Get the grandbastardmug.