Dave's definitions
Jokes invented by Yakov Smirnoff, involving the comparisons of things in the United States and the Soviet Union.
"In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you!"
"In America, you go to parties. In Soviet Russia, party goes to you!"
"In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!"
"In America, you define dictionary. In Soviet Russia, dictionary defines you!"
"In America, you shoot gun. In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!"
"In America, you go to parties. In Soviet Russia, party goes to you!"
"In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!"
"In America, you define dictionary. In Soviet Russia, dictionary defines you!"
"In America, you shoot gun. In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!"
by Dave July 13, 2004
Get the In Soviet Russiamug. 
Get the yingifiedmug. by Dave April 8, 2003
Get the Hotitymug. "Man I am phat!"
-me, something I say RARELY though 'cause I don't talk ghetto much
"That chick is phat. ^.^ "
-me, something I'd never say to a lady, especially if she is thin or, indeed, fat! o.o
-me, something I say RARELY though 'cause I don't talk ghetto much
"That chick is phat. ^.^ "
-me, something I'd never say to a lady, especially if she is thin or, indeed, fat! o.o
by Dave March 26, 2004
Get the phatmug. *To masturbate.
*A type of military operation and technique involving a solo commando unit.
*To not wear underwear (the reason for this really revolves around the fact that commando missions are so intense that you supposedly shit your pants...thus if you don't wear underwear during a commando mission, you basically test yourself in the attempt to ensure that you don't crap yourself during the mission).
*A type of military operation and technique involving a solo commando unit.
*To not wear underwear (the reason for this really revolves around the fact that commando missions are so intense that you supposedly shit your pants...thus if you don't wear underwear during a commando mission, you basically test yourself in the attempt to ensure that you don't crap yourself during the mission).
SOMEONE : "Looks like Dave's goin' commando today!"
ME (in camoflauge & aviator shades) : "Hey, I'm wearing underwear today."
ME (in camoflauge & aviator shades) : "Hey, I'm wearing underwear today."
by Dave April 1, 2004
Get the going commandomug. Donald Duck in Nutzi Land
by Dave January 8, 2005
Get the nutzimug. *A person's build.
*A thing's appearance.
*A nation's VITAL document regarding how it works, and, for example, what freedoms the people are allowed.
*A thing's appearance.
*A nation's VITAL document regarding how it works, and, for example, what freedoms the people are allowed.
by Dave April 16, 2004
Get the Constitutionmug.