Dude, look at John and Sara. He straight up shoplifted the pooty.

There is enough butter in that girls English muffin top.

I was about to ask her out but then she dropped the boyfriend bomb.

Beef: "See you later masturbator"
Jack: "In a while, pedophile"

Man, that picture is really fappable.

I friend likes to jabber woke at our cafe, then go home to his hobby ranch.

Alyssa: I told the shrink that I feel like a wild animal trapped in a human body, and she said it sounds like classic species dysphoria.
Jacques: I know I was meant to be a dolphin. Why did I end up a sexy human instead?? Species dysphoria sucks.
Jerry: If only I'd been born a bird, I wouldn't have to spend so much money on flying, parachuting, hang-gliding, sky-diving and base-jumping. Damned species dysphoria.