first post 

<Only applicable if the text "first post" (Or similar spellings) is actually in the first post of any given forum, topic, video comments section etc.>
"First post" is most often used to describe ones "ownage" over all other posters that plan on making a comment.
I.E. "I was here first" "I am better than you" etc.
Its childish to most but to those who would hopefully be "First poster", seeing your "first post" stolen can mean a tragic loss emotionally, often accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, failure, despair and in extreme cases, suicide.

First post!
omg first post you all fail.
Wow, nice topic blah blah blah... FIRST POST!
Technically I just got "first post" on the "first post" definition >.>

first post by Midian01 June 26, 2008

strong first post 

When someone completely new to the boards at Bodybuilding.com comes in and either says something totally idiotic, asks a question about illegal steroids or just makes a foolish statement in general, an experienced poster will then say, "Strong first post."

Noob: Hay, guise! I'm wondering what PCT I should take for my first cycle. I am 18 years old, 150 lbs."

Experienced Poster: Strong first post, noob. GTFO."

Noob: "You don't have to be all mean, I just wanted to get some answers without doing any research. Gosh..."

strong first post by strong postin bish January 14, 2010

My First Post 

A post you make on any social media when you were 9 and didn't know that the internet was a horny mess and still maintained your innocence and youth, which you then fondly look back on as a chronic Redditor.

P1: "Hey dude, look at my first post."
P2: "Oh wow, you were REALLY young then."
P1: "What's that supposed to mean?"

My First Post by The Hat King September 20, 2025

first poster

A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.

First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"

first poster by Nicholas D July 27, 2009

First Class Postage 

When a man is having sexual intercourse with a woman and right before he is about to blow his load, he pulls out and ejaculates all over her stomach. Next, he immediately squats over her stomach and dips his balls in his own semen. He then proceeds to squat over her head where he stamps her forehead with his jiz-dripping testicles.

Cara thoroughly enjoyed the first class postage "male" she received from Bob last night.

First Class Postage by TK1986 June 24, 2011

firstposter

Individuals whose sole motivation in life is to get that first forum/thread/news post - often typified by the words "1st" or "First" without more.

Thread: Pig found giving birth to man-child.

1. 1st
2. ./reply to 1. stfu n00b.
3. why doesn't somebody ban anonymous posters.

firstposter by Blacksh33p January 2, 2005

firstmost 

An abbreviation of the term "first and foremost."

Firstmost, we need to go over the agenda for the day.

firstmost by LauraLiz June 25, 2007