A mouthbreathing illiterate moron's mishearing and subsequent misspelling or mispronunciation of the word "comeuppance." The combination of "cum" and "muffins" adds hilarity to the usage of the term, as the word is typically placed in the syntax as an object to be received, as a result of karma, by a person perceived to have committed a wrong.

Yeah, that asshole screwed my best friend after I loaned him 400 dollars, but sooner or later he's going to get his cumuffins.

cumuffins by windu March 22, 2009

Related Words

cumpuff • Cumfuffle • cumuffins • cumuffince • cupmuffin • Bavarian Cum Puff • cum muffin • cum muffler • Cum cuffed • cum guff

cummuffin

A sexy young woman who frequently gets cum in her muffin.

Elissa is quite the cummuffin!

cummuffin by Pat & Kelly O'Brian December 8, 2006

cummuffins

Colloquial term for someone who has done something bad in the past and now the bad karma is catching up with them and punishing them. The punishment one recieves when they are 'getting their cummuffins' are as bad or worse as having to eat a muffin that has been ejaculated on. More severe and graphic version of come-uppins.

Adam: Why is Joe getting repeatedly kicked in the nuts by that guy?

Bill: Because he stole that guy's girlfriend, now he's getting his cummuffins.

cummuffins by jeffburnaby April 30, 2009

Cumfuffle

To unexpectedly cum at an inopportune moment and have to walk around with cum in your pants

I was at the carnival and suddenly experienced a cumfuffle and had to walk around with my niece for an hour with cum in my pants

Cumfuffle by Bocaj Nosredna July 7, 2020

Cumuffins

What someone would receive after insulting a baker. Similar to that of getting comeuppance, except this involves a baker using less cowmilk and more manmilk in the muffins.

Bonus: this just reward is vegan-friendly!

Some guy: Hey baker! You and your buns can suck it!
Baker: How about a free muffin to change your mind?
Some guy: Fine, we'll see
(Om nom nom)
Some guy: WTF? Salty muffins?
Baker: Them be some cumuffins mothafucka!

Cumuffins by Justifried! March 16, 2011

Bavarian Cum Puff

When an uncut guy cums in his foreskin while holding it shut, making it fill up like a creamy pastry.

Dam, my head skills are so good that when he tried to hold it for a bit longer the result was a tasty Bavarian Cum Puff explosion.

Bavarian Cum Puff by The-Professor- May 31, 2018

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026