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Updating your social networking profile with a cryptic/enigmatic statement that suggests you may be experiencing some distress.

Usually this is followed by a concerned friend publicly quizzing you as to the nature of your anguish, to which you reply " I don't want to talk about it on here!"
Cripto Level One: " :( "
Cripto Level Two:: "Meh?"
Cripto Level Three: "Why me?"
Cripto Level Four: "Why do people treat me like this?"
Cripto Level Five: "You'll miss me when I'm gone!"
Cripto by ginga-ninja78 August 21, 2010

ultra cripto blumpkin 

similar to a standard blumpkin, with the difference being the receiver is performing an upper deck.
I walked in the bathroom at the party and timmy and jill were doing an ultra cripto blumpkin (getting a hummer while doing an upper deck).
A disease that affects the mind in such a way that you no longer give a shit.
When stuck in meetings with clueless supervisors and managers that endlessly babble nonsense: "I believe I've developed a bad case of craptosis, I must leave immediately".
craptosis by Danedog July 20, 2010

Criptocurrency 

The currency used by the violent street gang known as the Crips, based in southern California. Also known as money or the US dollar.
I'm going to pay for this crack using criptocurrency.
Criptocurrency by Doctor Wojak November 8, 2021

Creptorial muscles

Creptorial muscles refers to one’s shoe game or creps and are usually of substantial quality. A play on word of creps and pectorials muscles.
Pree man’s Creptorial muscles.
Creptorial muscles by Lilaustin January 19, 2019

Husoos Cristo en una muleta 

Spanish for the phrase, "Jesus Christ on a crutch", which means "o shuit" or "o fuuuuucccckkkk!!!"
Is this laser waterproof?
Husoos Cristo en una muleta NOOOO!!!!