Telephony's definitions

spermmistake

A spermmistake occurs when your wife experiences an unwanted pregnancy, courtesy of your not bothering to put a fucking rubber on your schlong before having hot sex.

Regarding the kid that killed an Aussie tourist, various surgical procedures with rusty tools and no anesthesia would be fitting punishment for that spermmistake!

Pokèmon is one of the main things that destroyed the last generation. A kid with ADD or ADHD who LOVED the Japlantisneese art silliness could financially ruin their parents on 'shopping day', or when the li'l spermmistakes got their stinkin' allowance and spent the entire day at the card shop so that they could blow it all on those asinine Pokèmon trading cards.

by Telephony August 31, 2013

goat the tolet

This is how some people (esp. elderly women) pronounce the phrase, "go to the toliet".

{Norm}: Cummon Helen, let's go!
{Helen}: Hang on a moment Norm, I need to goat the tolet before we leave.

by Telephony July 19, 2016

THE FV¢K?

An abbreviated form of what the fuck? with some letters of the word fuck replaced in order to circumvent the onboard censors found in many online BBS programs (forums or even fora if you really want to be an ass about it).

{CFrom a YouTube description of a drone flight that has Slayer music overlaid upon it}

THE FV¢K?
Slayer is neither *SWEET* nor *RELAXING!!!* ;-)
It's like box jellyfish venom to the ears of many!!! :-O

by Telephony July 1, 2019

doucheketeers

Douchebags. Plain and simple.

Our town/county has miles and miles and miles of bike trails yet some of these risk taking doucheketeers INSIST on riding in the streets. During rush hour. On some pretty windy roads. AND sometimes ride 2 or 3 even 4 abreast across the road.

by Telephony June 10, 2013

birddouche

What somebody who hates to have to constantly refill a birdbath might call it.

{Martha}: Kevin, I told you to refill that goddamn birdbath every day!
{Kevin}: Aw mom, I forgot. I'll get the hose and fill the damn birddouche right away.

by Telephony August 21, 2013

PWPOSMF

An acronym that stands for "Pussywhipped Piece Of Shit Motherfucker".

Much, much worse (O GOD SO MUCH WORSE!!!) than a POS.
Example: "John is such a PWPOSMF it ain't even funny. :-("

by Telephony December 14, 2010

pee IN the toliet, not ON the toliet!

An admonishment given to males with bad aim while passing micturition (pissing) into a regular sit-down toliet bowl.

I just had cataract surgery; now I can pee IN the toliet, not ON the toliet!

by Telephony June 15, 2014