StormSworder's definitions

eastenders

A soap opera which used to be unmissable entertainment, but since about 2001 it has completely lost the plot. All the interesting characters have gone, replaced by people who are either irritating, obnoxious or both. I've lived where there are a lot of real eastenders and they're nothing like the ones in this soap opera. Albert Square is now populated by patronising working-class stereotypes (who are usually criminals, wife-beaters, serial killers etc). Nobody can keep their trousers/skirt on for more than five minutes, and Dirty Den suddenly rising from the grave shows how desperate the series has become, having exhausted all possible storylines years ago. Only continues because soap operas are so cheap to make. Once you've built the sets, you can use them forever, and you only need to go on location for a week twice a year and have a special effect once in a blue moon. And you can use the same storylines over and over. Eastenders always has an extra-depressing storyline at Christmas. Ho-ho-ho to you as well. By the way, Eastenders is now on four times a week, so that's even more padding to enjoy.

To hell with decent plots and characters. What we want in eastenders are headline-grabbing gimmick storylines, no matter how ridiculous they are. Lol! Eastenders was always larger-than-life, but surely there must be some limits.

by Stormsworder January 6, 2007

sun

1: The parent star of our planet.

2: A so-called newspaper which you need an IQ of less than 12 to fully appreciate.

There are millions of stars in this galaxy alone, let alone all the countless other galaxies. If every star is a sun, there could be countless Earth-like worlds.

by Stormsworder November 16, 2006

pasadena opossum

1: An opossum is a marsupial from the United States. A Pasadena Opossum is presumably one from Pasadena. There are three cities in the US with this name, one in Texas, one in California and another in Maryland.

2: A character from the Crash Bandicoot series of video games. Pasadena is a tall slim female created by eccentric scientist Dr Van Clutch to compete in cart races around his theme park. Pasadena has a Texan accent and her long tail is used as a third hand. She comes across as a bit of a stereotype valley girl. It is obvious she fancies Crash, though the feeling is not mutual.

"That Pasadena Opossum is just gorgeous. I wouldn't mind going round the track with her a few times".

Seek urgent help.

by Stormsworder January 12, 2007

mel gibson

Proof that you don't need talent to make it in this world. Mel Gibson has made a fortune simply through looking nice. He is a rubbish actor and a rubbish director, and now he is being forced to resort to blatant xenophobic propaganda in order to make anyone notice his so-called movies.

Mel Gibson should have been a Nazi propagandist. They used to churn out films filled with this kind of propaganda and hatred against other countries and Jewish people.

by Stormsworder November 24, 2006

Prince Harry

Younger son of Prince Charles, Prince Harry thinks it's a laugh to dress up as a nazi. He probably found the uniform in Princess Michael's wardrobe. Er, has anyone ever told her that Michael is actually a boy's name?

A parent annoyed that her child is not paying attention at school: If you don't learn anything you'll end up with an IQ like Prince Harry.
Child: (horrified) Alright, I'll do better from now on!

by StormSworder August 15, 2006

encyclopedia dramatica

Supposedly an online encyclopedia, this is little more than a haven for porn, obscenities and rather childish insults. Presumably someone who was banned from wikipedia for thinking crude language and playground behaviour was an alternative to facts or humour has set up his own website in which he can be spiteful and pathetic until the cows come home.

Man #1: "I want to start posting things to an online website, but unfortunately I have no knowledge about anything and have the sense of humour of a boat hook".
Mam 2#: "Never mind. There's always encyclopedia dramatica".

by Stormsworder June 7, 2007

education

Education is what the current UK government and its puppet-masters want only the children of the rich to have. Britain is in very real danger of ending up with an entire generation of uneducated underclass. The middle school I went to years ago was practically a borstal, where bullying went ignored, where teachers either blamed the victims or carried on smoking their cigarettes. The deputy headmaster was a stroppy, loud-mouthed oaf and the headmistress was a poisonous old witch who threw people out of assembly for not standing up quickly enough. People were reprimanded for being late, but I can remember being sent to see the deputy head who told me off (naughty boy, arriving late indeed, etc) and then arriving at class for registration to find out the teacher hadn't arrived yet. Said teacher was forever late, and we had to stand outside the building waiting for her to arrive to let us into class no matter what the weather was like. Once she turned up, tardy as ever, saying "you're late, class". In another school everyone was called to assambly once to be given a stern lecture about bad language. That had real moral authority, considering more than one teacher used the f-word in front of the class. I don't know quite what those schools are like by now. I shudder to think. I know of teachers who say how impossible to teach anyone. What with the 'rights without responsibility' culture which goes hand-in-hand with New Labour, no teacher is allowed to reprimand any bully or disruptive individual.

So I'm sure school teaches us. It teaches us that authority is a case of hypocrisy and double-standards, that the guilty are rewarded and the innocent made to feel they are worthless scum.

These days standards have fallen to the point where this country's education system is the laughing stock of the world. Once it was the envy of everyone. People with the money to do so all used to come to the UK to be educated in our universities. Now, thanks to a succession of useless governments, everyone in the UK with the money to do so goes abroad to university. Tony Bliar and his masters con the public into thinking the UK's children are educated by making exams so easy a 5-year-old can attain a dozen A-stars (despite calling for education to be down to the lowest denominator, New Labour ministers send their own children to expensive private schools). And only the rich can go to university. Anyone else will find themselves in debt for the rest of their natural lives.

"Here's a piece of education. This school was named after a lord mayor".
"Good grief. If he was alive today he'd sue the place for every penny. Fancy having your name associated with a dump like that".

by Stormsworder November 16, 2006