Then a little bulldog entered. His name, we have learned, was Benny. And although he once had principles, he abandoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution.
Lap dogs may be used to:
a. Keep one's lap warm on those cold winter nights.
b. A pillow.(when tossed over one's shoulder)
c. Musical instruments. When lifted up and allowed to slap down on the dinner table. Can be used in a dinner time orchestra along with the silverware drums and wine glass whistling.
d. Weapons.(simply release and rotate torso, preferably with the enemy's face at chest level; when you here "SLAAAP!!!" followed by a thud the maneuver has been performed successfully.
e. Motorboating. (Hey maybe it's not unique, but who could resist?)
2. Listen Susie, I'm trying to make serious music here. Forget more cowbell, I wanna here more lap dogs or I'm kicking you out the band!