77 definitions by StormSworder

A sub-species which is becoming all too common in the UK thanks to the dumbing down of the education system and the fact that the police spend their time either filling in paperwork or going after motorists. Examples of scum can be found everywhere, from the highest to the lowest parts of society. Politicians, big businessmen and the like are more corrupt and self-serving than ever. In the town where I live, psychiatrists have walked away from causing serious head injuries and from telling their patients they're possessed by ghosts. Meanwhile, it is dangerous to go out onto the streets after dark in many towns or cities. This is mainly due to brain-dead head-bangers who patrol the streets looking for prey, doing in gangs or or in pairs what they wouldn't have the guts to do on their own. Most people grow out of schoolboy-type behaviour, but there is a certain breed who seem unable to do so. They remain as yobs well into late middle-age and beyond. Indeed, I was minding my own business when someone started hooting their car-horn at me. When I gave them the finger, they stopped their car (at a crossroad, causing a hold-up). I was then threatened by some fat old git in dungarees. When I failed to be scared by his threat, he threatened me again but this time added an 'f-word', as though that made him sound scarier or more grown-up. I still failed to be scared, and he gave up and went on his way. People like this deserve only pity. And that's another thing. Scum of all ages seem to think swearing is both grown-up and the height of comedy. Their world-beaters are all over public toilet walls, galvanised-metal lamp posts and the like. They also shout things from cars as they drive by, big brave men that they are. Their girlfriends are usually brainless bimbos who think crime is glamorous and are turned on by thuggish behaviour.
New Labour are going to start coming down hard on scum. They're going to get women in black leather to come to parliament and give all the NL MPs a good spanking.
by Stormsworder October 25, 2006
Female genetalia. Has an opening in which the male penis can be inserted. Is also the opening through which the baby leaves the female body. When sexually aroused, the vagina becomes moist allowing easier penetration.
Biology teacher: "Can anyone tell me the function of the vagina?"

Schoolboy sniggering from all around.
by Stormsworder March 28, 2007
The wife of our 'esteemed' Prime Minister, Cherie Blair (formerly Booth) met Tony (formerly Anthony) at a balloon party. Since her husband came to power, Miss Cruella de Ville has wasted thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money on her hairdressing. She charged a charity almost all of the money it had made just for standing up and burbling on about absolutely nothing for five minutes (the charity went belly-up as a result). She now considers herself superior to the Queen, and is making a fortune from her position as the PM's wife. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she's forced her husband into staying on as PM when it's clear to everyone he should have resigned long ago.
Cherie Blair gets up on stage and blubs about how she's missing her son who's at university.

Cherie, what about all the people your husband has sent to Iraq to fight and maybe die in a war just to inflate his ego! They're all someone's sons!
by StormSworder August 13, 2006
A power-mad dwarf who is the enemy of the popular video game character Crash Bandicoot. He is bald with a black beard and an 'N' on his forehead (it's never made clear whether the 'N' is a tattoo or some kind of metal plate). When he was a child, Cortex attended the Academy of Evil where he was mercilessly bullied by the other children and by the tyrannical headmistress Madame Amberley. From an early age he developed a love of torturing and experimenting on animals. In later life he became a scientist, but was ridiculed and shunned by the scientific world for his outlandish ideas. So he enlisted the help of N.Brio, another outcast scientist, in his plan to take over the world and avenge himself against all those people who had mocked him all his life. N.Brio had built the Evolvo-Ray, a machine which could cause rapid evolution in animals. Cortex took control of it, set about turning animals into an army of soldiers. Crash Bandicoot was one of the animals he used the Evolvo-Ray on, but there was a malfunction and Crash escaped, soon became his enemy. After many defeats at the hands of Crash, his sister Coco and a mask containing the spirit of a witch-doctor, Cortex is still obsessed with ruling the world. But first he intends to destroy Crash Bandicoot....
Dr Neo Cortex: Crash, Crash, Crash. Why must you always muck in my mud? Oh look, I have a mask helping me too! We will see which one is more powerful soon enough!
by StormSworder August 13, 2006
1: An animal's nose. Also used as an insult for someone with a big nose, or to describe a greedy businessman (eg: snout in the trough).
2: A cigarette (other slang terms for this include fag, cancer stick and coffin nail).
3: A police informant. The term presumably derives from the informant 'sniffing out villains'. Other slang terms for a police informant include grass, stool-pigeon and copper's nark.
"Getting snout in jail is a nightmare if you used to be a police snout".
by Stormsworder May 19, 2007
An internet hardman is someone who goes online in chat rooms, message boards and the like and insults, belittles and abuses other people. His avatar will probably be some image that gives the impression he's a hardcase, and he'll probably have some tagline like "Shut the fuck up" or "Who you dissin" or "When the master's talking you shut it". But if you were to meet this person face to face you would probably find he is either a skinny or dumpy nerd with thick glasses and his vest tucked into his skidmark-stained y-fronts, has no social life to speak of, has a relationship with a collection of porno mags and has never spoken to a girl.
"I am the Internet Hardman. You are a sad loser and an idiot".
"Fuck off back to your smelly bedroom, you no-life waste of space".
by Stormsworder June 23, 2009
Education is what the current UK government and its puppet-masters want only the children of the rich to have. Britain is in very real danger of ending up with an entire generation of uneducated underclass. The middle school I went to years ago was practically a borstal, where bullying went ignored, where teachers either blamed the victims or carried on smoking their cigarettes. The deputy headmaster was a stroppy, loud-mouthed oaf and the headmistress was a poisonous old witch who threw people out of assembly for not standing up quickly enough. People were reprimanded for being late, but I can remember being sent to see the deputy head who told me off (naughty boy, arriving late indeed, etc) and then arriving at class for registration to find out the teacher hadn't arrived yet. Said teacher was forever late, and we had to stand outside the building waiting for her to arrive to let us into class no matter what the weather was like. Once she turned up, tardy as ever, saying "you're late, class". In another school everyone was called to assambly once to be given a stern lecture about bad language. That had real moral authority, considering more than one teacher used the f-word in front of the class. I don't know quite what those schools are like by now. I shudder to think. I know of teachers who say how impossible to teach anyone. What with the 'rights without responsibility' culture which goes hand-in-hand with New Labour, no teacher is allowed to reprimand any bully or disruptive individual.

So I'm sure school teaches us. It teaches us that authority is a case of hypocrisy and double-standards, that the guilty are rewarded and the innocent made to feel they are worthless scum.

These days standards have fallen to the point where this country's education system is the laughing stock of the world. Once it was the envy of everyone. People with the money to do so all used to come to the UK to be educated in our universities. Now, thanks to a succession of useless governments, everyone in the UK with the money to do so goes abroad to university. Tony Bliar and his masters con the public into thinking the UK's children are educated by making exams so easy a 5-year-old can attain a dozen A-stars (despite calling for education to be down to the lowest denominator, New Labour ministers send their own children to expensive private schools). And only the rich can go to university. Anyone else will find themselves in debt for the rest of their natural lives.
"Here's a piece of education. This school was named after a lord mayor".
"Good grief. If he was alive today he'd sue the place for every penny. Fancy having your name associated with a dump like that".
by Stormsworder November 15, 2006
Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×