1: A formidable woman.
2: One of the zoids (mechanical monsters released as wind-up and battery-operated toys, made in Japan). A Hellcat zoid looks like some kind of big cat, possibly a panther or cheetah. Its first UK release was in 1986. It was re-released in Japan in 1999 with a spelling mistake on its box (Helcat).
That mother of my girlfriend Alice is a right hellcat. Apparently she once bit a teacher's nose off after Alice was given a detention for not doing her homework.
A genie is thought by many (probably due to films they've seen) to be a man who appears to grant three wishes if the lamp he lives in is rubbed. In fact, according to mythology, a genie is a mischievous spirit who has been imprisoned in some object or other (it needn't automatically be a lamp).
Police find a warehouse filled with stolen property, including a lot of lanterns.
Inspector: Well, well. It's Aladdin's cave.
Constable: How very witty, sir. (thinks:don't give up your police job just yet).
Surely one of the most successful groups of animals in the history of this planet. There are arachnids on every continent (except Antarctica, obviously). Arachnids include spiders, scorpions, mites, ticks and the like. Though it is very rare for soft-bodied animals to survive, in fossil form, the oldest known fossil spider is 380 million years old, and there are even older fossil scorpions and sea scorpions known. Whenever I watch a tarantula or scorpion I can't help feeling I'm being given a viewpoint on an early age of life on this planet.
An example of an arachnid: a tarantula, a member of the oldest group of spiders which did not spin webs, merely used silk to line their burrows.
Dark-tinted glasses, worn for a variety of reasons.
1: If it's a bright day.
2: If you have been given a black eye and want to conceal it.
3: You are making a (not-very-good) attempt to conceal your identity.
4: You are a complete tit who thinks wearing sunglasses makes you look like a gangster or a pop star or something.
"Why does Sunglasses Roy wear shades even when it's dark? Does he think it's cool?"
"Er, no. He's actually an alien with red eyes and doesn't want anyone to see them".
An android from the sci-fi/comedy series Red Dwarf, Kryten looks like a human wearing metallic clothes, but has a cube-like, geometric head. He became a regular in Series 3, played by Robert Llewellyn, but was actually first seen in an episode of Series 2 in which the Red Dwarf crew find him on a crashed spacecraft. He has been programmed to look after the crew of the marooned craft, but didn't realise they had been dead for many years. Played by Dave Ross, his original character was based on the butler in 'The Admirable Crichton'. Taken back to Red Dwarf, he was persuaded to rebel against Rimmer's task-master treatment and went joy-riding on Lister's space bike. In the Series 3 prologue (freeze-frame the tape/DVD to read it) it was revealed he had crashed, and that Lister had put him back together but had been unable to restore his original personality. Since then Lister has fought a losing battle trying to encourage Kryten to break his programming (by developing emotions, being able to lie etc). It has been revealed that Kryten can change heads, can detach his hand and send it to bring help, and can remove his eyes (useful for when communicating with human-hating psychotic androids).
Kryten: What a smeeee. What a smeeeee. What a smeeeeeee heeeeeeeee....
Despite popular belief, a daddy longlegs is a spider with a small body and long, spindly legs. What most people think of as a daddy longlegs is actualy called a crane fly. Spiders like daddy longlegs are most common in summer, especialy during hot summers when there are a lot of insects about.
Don't kill a daddy longlegs, or any other kind of spider. They eat household pests.
A way of making the government yet more money, cynically disguised as a way of stopping accidents. As with most of this government's ways of conning the public, anyone with an IQ of over 15 can work out it's just a con. Often speeding signs are not clearly visible (my mother was caught out like this), and in Luton a couple of years ago there were ten (!) police officers standing on a roadside stopping cars at random in the hope that one of the drivers might not have insurance or an up-to-date tax disc. Given the crime rate in Luton, is anyone out there seriously going to tell me they had nothing better to do? But back to the point. I'm not in favour of speeding (I saw a lunatic using a housing estate as a race track), but 5% of accidents are due to speeding. Speed cameras can't stop people driving like they're on the dodgems. And now people are having to keep a constant eye on their speed-o-meters, thus are distracted from the road ahead. Nice one, New Labour.
In court this morning a man was fined £200 and 18 months loss of license after being caught speeding by one of the speed cameras. In the next court-room a man was let off with a warning for GBH.