StormSworder's definitions

england

A country which must rank as the biggest victim of racism in the modern world. Leonard Maltin gets on his high horse if Mickey Mouse so much as dresses up as a Native American and says 'how', nobody is allowed to mention that Abu Hamza is a twisted terrorist supporter and no-one's allowed to sing 'baa-baa-black-sheep'. And yet Hollywood is busy churning out so-called movies which are really one piece of anti-english racist propaganda after another. The latest, Braveheart, tells the 'true' story of how the heroic Scots beat the evil English murderers. Lol! It's not Mel Gibson's brains that have got him where he is today. I've no doubt that most English and American people would rather live together in peace, but - as in any situation like this - the minority of loudmouths and bigots unfortunately shout loudest and so are heard. Unfortunately those bigots include the UK government. Tony Blair and his clan openly detest England and the English, are busily selling it off, taking away its basic freedoms and putting it under the iron-fist rule of unelected suits in Brussels. The laughability of Blair can be truly seen when you realise he's sucking up to a President who is a retard controlled by arms-dealer and big business puppet-masters. Every time Bush opens his mouth he detracts from the total sum of human intelligence. Some Americans harp on about the murderous British Empire, neatly stepping over the fact that the US is currently acting exactly the same as the British Empire at its worst. The white US population came from countries like England (has anyone noticed how so many of them speak english?) and wiped out entire nations and entire ways of life when they invaded the New World. Regarding the War of Independance, far more people died in the American Civil Wars which followed. For what it's worth, I love New York, thought the people there were very nice. I certainly felt less threatened walking the streets there than in places like London or Luton, which are becoming more like third world slums every day. Returning to the subject of xenophobia, I think it might be an idea if people formed their own opinions rather than relying on propaganda-filled movies which are being used in the same way Hitler and Stalin used films to brainwash the people of their countries.

For the benefit of anyone wishing to imply the English are all semi-literate, whales are marine mammals. Wales is the country attached to England.

by StormSworder August 20, 2006

troll

1: Somebody who, whether out of boredom, obnoxious tendencies or simply having no life to speak of, causes trouble on a website (eg: by starting arguments deliberately). I know of a website which had to be shut down after some jerk-off started deliberately causing a fuss and turning the various members against each other.

2: A mythological creature often used in fairy-tales such as 'The Three Billy-Goats Gruff'. Generally depicted as humanoid but ugly and sometimes with animal-like fangs, claws or horns.

There's a troll in an old computer game I found who is scared of teddy-bear heads with arms and legs. The great woos.

by Stormsworder March 11, 2007

halloween

This was once a pagan festival. Now it is an excuse for kids to come round in silly 'horror' costumes demanding money or sweets, sometimes throwing eggs at your house if you don't give them anything. Was also used as the title and setting for a series of films.

A couple of ghosties started fighting on halloween. They were pulled off by the ghoulies.

by Stormsworder February 4, 2007

Cherie Blair

The wife of our 'esteemed' Prime Minister, Cherie Blair (formerly Booth) met Tony (formerly Anthony) at a balloon party. Since her husband came to power, Miss Cruella de Ville has wasted thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money on her hairdressing. She charged a charity almost all of the money it had made just for standing up and burbling on about absolutely nothing for five minutes (the charity went belly-up as a result). She now considers herself superior to the Queen, and is making a fortune from her position as the PM's wife. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if she's forced her husband into staying on as PM when it's clear to everyone he should have resigned long ago.

Cherie Blair gets up on stage and blubs about how she's missing her son who's at university.

Cherie, what about all the people your husband has sent to Iraq to fight and maybe die in a war just to inflate his ego! They're all someone's sons!

by StormSworder August 13, 2006

brazilian wandering spider

Brazilian wandering spider is the name used to describe any spider of the genus phoneutria. There are five in total, and they are large hairy spindly-looking spiders with leg-spans which can reach up to 5 inches or more. Two pairs of their eight eyes are large, and they do not make webs, instead go hunting for prey. This can cause problems, as they have the most active venom of any living spiders. One of their number, the Brazilian Huntsman, is thought to be the most venomous spider in the world. Brazilian wandering spiders are certainly dangerous, bite more people than any other spiders. They are fast-moving, their legs are strong and spiny and they have destinctive red jaws which they display when angered. These spiders are quite capable of jumping onto a broom used to fend them off, can also leap out of banana bunches carried over the shoulder and bite whoever is carrying the fruit. One species, the Brazilian Armed Spider, is quite amazingly aggressive and has the largest venom glands of any spider. Since the introduction of anti-toxins, there have been few recorded fatalities, and finding one of these spiders in imported fruit is unlikely what with modern safety precautions. the name Brazilian wandering spider is actually inaccurate, as these spiders are found all over South America.

It's worth pointing out that a Brazilian wandering spider is not a tarantula. They're not even in the same family group. Tarantulas are harmless to humans, are mostly ambush killers who wait for prey to come to them. Brazilian wandering spiders are active hunters. Brazilian wandering spiders and tarantulas do have one thing in common, however. They don't eat bananas. I'm quite amazed people think this is the case.

by StormSworder August 16, 2006

ids

Quite possibly the most boring, aimless, pointless individual ever to be elected leader of any British political party. His becoming leader of the Conservatives led to there being, for the first time in history, no waxwork made of the official leader of the opposition. Apparently they agreed he was a total non-entity and couldn't be bothered to make a waxwork of him. I read somewhere a cardboard cut-out of IDS was made. It probably had more charisma than he did.

IDS - living proof the Tories are never going to be elected into power again ever.

by StormSworder August 15, 2006

Jar Jar Binks

An attempt to create a 'comic relief' character which backfired badly, turning the Star Wars film Phantom Menace into little more than a cross between a farce and a special-effects laden episode of Love Thy Neighbour. Binks is an alien who, for reasons I'm sure won't be apparent to anyone but all-seeing higher beings, talks like a dated black stereotype. Ah, but C3P0 and R2-D2 were comical characters, the fanboys point out. Yes, but they actually served some function in A New Hope, and if they're comic characters then why do we need yet another 'comic' character.

Jar Jar Binks, just one of the many things wrong with a film with was nothing really more than one long advert for toys, video games, happy meals and various other tat. But it's still worth mentioning that Jar Jar Binks is a shit creation and a total wanker.

by Stormsworder August 2, 2007