77 definitions by StormSworder

1: A main road. When it goes through the countryside, it is often lined the various dead animals. I recently saw a badger lying there inert.

2: A lamp post made by Concrete Utilities in the sixties. Later replaced by the Highway X, which had a slimmer, rounder-shaped base to its column and therefore took up less room on the pavement.
Mrs Ford: Had a good day, Jim?
Mr Ford (who has just arrived home): I was driving along the highway at a steady 50 mph when this stupid toffee-nosed arsehole came tearing along at about 80 or 90, practically rammed my backside for a mile and a half, hooting his horn all the time. When he overtook, he shouted something I couldn't quite understand due to the fact he spoke as though he had his bollocks in his mouth. I naturally did the sensible thing - gave him the finger and told him to f*** off.
Mrs Ford: That's nice, dear.
by StormSworder August 16, 2006
Arachnids with lobster-like pincers and tails bearing stingers. Scorpions have existed for a long time (the oldest known fossils are 400 million years old, and some early scorpions were much bigger than those of today - the fossilized Brontoscorpio and Gigantoscorpio are estimated to have been a metre long each in life). Scorpions possess a pair of feather-like forms under their stomachs which they use to 'feel' the ground for vibrations which could tell of nearby predators or prey. When mating, the male scorpion grasps the female by the pincers, deposits a 'package' of sperm onto the ground and then pulls the female over it, so she can lower herself and absorb it through an opening in her body. Despite their fearsome reputation, scorpions are not all dangerous. In fact many, like the Emperor Scorpions from West Africa and Black Forest Scorpions from Asia are harmless. A way of determining as to whether a scorpion may be dangerous is to look at its pincers. Harmless scorpions like Emperors and Black Forests have large strong pincers and relatively small tails. At the other end of the scale are the dreaded Fat-tail Scorpions, which have small, slender pincers and large muscular tails which can drive their deadly stingers through shoes. Scorpions exist in tropical, desert and scrubland environments.
Emperor Scorpions, Redclaw Scorpions, Black Forest Scorpions, Egyptian Gold Scorpions - all harmless, as I can assure you since I've kept them as pets in the past.
I'd just like to mention Spike, the grandmother of my family of Emperor Scorpions (now sadly all deceased). RIP Spike.
by StormSworder August 14, 2006
A slit you put things into and they disappear never to be seen again.
I posted a cheque a few weeks ago, put it in the post box, and no-one knows where it is now.
by Stormsworder October 21, 2006
The most impressive-looking of one of my favourite group of dinosaurs. This animal was about the size of an elephant, had a parrot-like beak, a long horn on its nose and a bony frill around the top of its neck with six long spikes. Has appeared in films such as Son of Kong, Valley of Gwangi and Land That Time Forgot, but sadly not in any of the Jurassic Park films.
That Styracosaurus might have kicked Gwangi's rear end if that stupid cowboy hadn't stabbed it. If you're near a flesh-eating carnivore fighting a relatively harmless plant-eater, why on earth would you try to kill the plant-eater?
by StormSworder August 11, 2006
1: Not very expensive. The word cheap, however, is best avoided when selling cut-price items or bargains. Nobody likes to be thought of as 'cheap'.
2: A girl who is generous with her favours, to put it politely.
3: Lacking in imagination. Eg: 'cheap' ways of getting you to lose lives in a video game.
4: Someone who spends their life not paying their way. (eg: cheapskate).
The special effects in that film were really cheap. Looked like they'd put a collection bottle on a pub bar and paid for the effects out of the procedings.
by Stormsworder February 01, 2007
A cock (bird) wakes up and shouts: "Cock-a-doodle-do!"

A slut wakes up and shouts "Any-cock-will-do!"

Slut said to me: "The guy I went with last night insisted on caning my backside before he had sex with me. It reminded me of being sent to the headmaster's office back at school. The only difference was the headmaster never bothered with the caning bit".

by Stormsworder January 24, 2007
CD-Rs are shiny disc-shaped objects which are sold in packs of about fifty. Once purchased, they can be used as bird-tables, wheels for large toy cars, hula-hoop rings your pet stick insect can use to keep itself in shape or things you can twirl around on top of sticks like in kids' variety shows. They can also be instrumental for your survival. If you are ever attacked by a T-Rex or other dangerous flesh-eating dinosaur, use the shiny surface of the CD-R to reflect the sunlight into its eyes. This will dazzle the beast and allow you valuable time to escape.
Note: CD-Rs are not for use with any kind of computer. If you put one in the disc drive and try to save any documents or data on it, you'll get a message telling you to insert a disc in the disc drive. That means the kind of disc which can be recorded on. These kinds of discs are currently on sale in most good stores on the planet Arcturus 3, or you can order them from Merlin's Mystic Store of Magic (ask for Harry).
by Stormsworder October 01, 2007
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