StormSworder's definitions

mel gibson

Proof that you don't need talent to make it in this world. Mel Gibson has made a fortune simply through looking nice. He is a rubbish actor and a rubbish director, and now he is being forced to resort to blatant xenophobic propaganda in order to make anyone notice his so-called movies.

Mel Gibson should have been a Nazi propagandist. They used to churn out films filled with this kind of propaganda and hatred against other countries and Jewish people.

by Stormsworder November 24, 2006

Internet hardman

An internet hardman is someone who goes online in chat rooms, message boards and the like and insults, belittles and abuses other people. His avatar will probably be some image that gives the impression he's a hardcase, and he'll probably have some tagline like "Shut the fuck up" or "Who you dissin" or "When the master's talking you shut it". But if you were to meet this person face to face you would probably find he is either a skinny or dumpy nerd with thick glasses and his vest tucked into his skidmark-stained y-fronts, has no social life to speak of, has a relationship with a collection of porno mags and has never spoken to a girl.

"I am the Internet Hardman. You are a sad loser and an idiot".
"Fuck off back to your smelly bedroom, you no-life waste of space".

by Stormsworder June 23, 2009

virgin

1: An island or other piece of land which is undiscovered.

2: A person or animal who has never had sex. This could be for a variety of reasons, but if there were more virgins there might be less STDs, less unwanted pregnancies and less babies who grow up being ignored by their uninterested parents, having no chance in life at all and ending up in the gutter or on drugs. The problem is that people are so often made to feel that admitting you're a virgin is akin to admitting you're a leper.

I'm sure most virgins have had sex on their own, if you get my drift. Despite us humans claiming we're superior to animals, primal instincts are still within us.

Schoolgirls:

Emma: So, Rachel. You had sex yet?
Rachel: No. I'm only thirteen. Anyway, I'm going to save myself for the right man.
Emma and her friends laugh and start chanting 'Rachel's a virgin'.

by StormSworder August 11, 2006

england

A country which must rank as the biggest victim of racism in the modern world. Leonard Maltin gets on his high horse if Mickey Mouse so much as dresses up as a Native American and says 'how', nobody is allowed to mention that Abu Hamza is a twisted terrorist supporter and no-one's allowed to sing 'baa-baa-black-sheep'. And yet Hollywood is busy churning out so-called movies which are really one piece of anti-english racist propaganda after another. The latest, Braveheart, tells the 'true' story of how the heroic Scots beat the evil English murderers. Lol! It's not Mel Gibson's brains that have got him where he is today. I've no doubt that most English and American people would rather live together in peace, but - as in any situation like this - the minority of loudmouths and bigots unfortunately shout loudest and so are heard. Unfortunately those bigots include the UK government. Tony Blair and his clan openly detest England and the English, are busily selling it off, taking away its basic freedoms and putting it under the iron-fist rule of unelected suits in Brussels. The laughability of Blair can be truly seen when you realise he's sucking up to a President who is a retard controlled by arms-dealer and big business puppet-masters. Every time Bush opens his mouth he detracts from the total sum of human intelligence. Some Americans harp on about the murderous British Empire, neatly stepping over the fact that the US is currently acting exactly the same as the British Empire at its worst. The white US population came from countries like England (has anyone noticed how so many of them speak english?) and wiped out entire nations and entire ways of life when they invaded the New World. Regarding the War of Independance, far more people died in the American Civil Wars which followed. For what it's worth, I love New York, thought the people there were very nice. I certainly felt less threatened walking the streets there than in places like London or Luton, which are becoming more like third world slums every day. Returning to the subject of xenophobia, I think it might be an idea if people formed their own opinions rather than relying on propaganda-filled movies which are being used in the same way Hitler and Stalin used films to brainwash the people of their countries.

For the benefit of anyone wishing to imply the English are all semi-literate, whales are marine mammals. Wales is the country attached to England.

by StormSworder August 20, 2006

halloween

This was once a pagan festival. Now it is an excuse for kids to come round in silly 'horror' costumes demanding money or sweets, sometimes throwing eggs at your house if you don't give them anything. Was also used as the title and setting for a series of films.

A couple of ghosties started fighting on halloween. They were pulled off by the ghoulies.

by Stormsworder February 4, 2007

crash bandicoot

Star of many video games, Crash Bandicoot was one of the victims of the power-mad Dr Neo Cortex, who tried to cause rapid evolution in animals in order to turn them into his army of heavies. Crash, together with his sister Coco Bandicoot and their friend Crunch Bandicoot, are now dedicated to putting a spoke in every wheel of evil plotting Cortex dreams up. The best games in Crash's history, in my view, are 'Cortex Strikes Back' and 'Twinsanity'. In the latter, Crash was forced to team up with Cortex in order to foil the plans of two power-mad birds (who were former pets of Cortex).

Cortex: I'll destroy you and take over this world.

Crash Bandicoot: Uh....

Cortex: I shall be the supreme being of the universe!

Crash: Uh....

Cortex: You've a real way with words, do you know that?!

by StormSworder August 13, 2006

post box

A slit you put things into and they disappear never to be seen again.

I posted a cheque a few weeks ago, put it in the post box, and no-one knows where it is now.

by Stormsworder October 22, 2006