StormSworder's definitions
1: A two-legged flesh-eating dinosaur.
2: A terrible Jurassic Park cash-in of the same name. The film Carnosaur incredibly managed to spawn two (even worse) sequals.
2: A terrible Jurassic Park cash-in of the same name. The film Carnosaur incredibly managed to spawn two (even worse) sequals.
by StormSworder August 31, 2006
Get the carnosaurmug. The UK postal system is, like just about everything else in the UK after the socialist/communist/annarchist revolution here (not to mention the privatisation of the postal system courtesy of some money-minded old Tory crook), the laughing stock of the world. Important parcels and letters frequently go missing. I must have lost thousands of pounds worth of goods in the post in the last seven years, and it's not really surprising given that the postal workers of today don't seem to care a fig about their customers. Last year, for example, I was out when a parcel was delivered, so the parcel was returned to the depot. But, instead of making a record of it, the postman involved had simply thrown it in some storage warehouse and nobody knew where it was. It was only through persistence that it didn't join the other items which seem to be gone forever. Whilst I was in the depot, there was a woman complaining about a postman who'd forced a parcel of hers through her letterbox and, as a result, the contents of it (photos) had all been bent out of shape. I'm forever getting complaints from irate people who've never received the cheques I've sent. One of my Dad's friends used to be a postal worker and apparently, when the sacks of letters are emptied, there's always a few left behind which are disregarded. Smaller post offices are constantly being closed as centralisation takes over. You might as well just put your letter in a bottle and throw it in the nearest river.
Seller: "Where's my cheque gone?"
Buyer: "I sent it three weeks ago, but unfortunately I was stupid enough to trust the UK's postal system, so it's probably in the bin by now".
Buyer: "I sent it three weeks ago, but unfortunately I was stupid enough to trust the UK's postal system, so it's probably in the bin by now".
by Stormsworder November 23, 2006
Get the postalmug. 1: To put money in a bank.
2: To rely on something or someone. (eg: I was banking on this happening).
3: A building where they charge you a fortune for the least little thing (eg: £30 to tell you you're overdrawn). I went in one bank for an international money order. The women who dealt with them (no-one else was allowed the keys to the desk with the IMOs in) had gone to lunch, wouldn't be back for another fifteen minutes. So, after a lot of hanging around the town centre, I went back to the bank only to find they didn't have any remaining IMOs. Given that IMOs are pieces of paper with printed writing on them which the bank sell for £8 each, I'm sure it can't be a case of them not being able to afford more with the profits they make (given that they also employ as few people as possible to keep their profits up). They'll have some more IMOs 'soon'. Whether that means tomorrow, next week, next month or next year I don't know. But you'd think they'd order more IMOs when they're running low on them, not wait until after they've run out.
2: To rely on something or someone. (eg: I was banking on this happening).
3: A building where they charge you a fortune for the least little thing (eg: £30 to tell you you're overdrawn). I went in one bank for an international money order. The women who dealt with them (no-one else was allowed the keys to the desk with the IMOs in) had gone to lunch, wouldn't be back for another fifteen minutes. So, after a lot of hanging around the town centre, I went back to the bank only to find they didn't have any remaining IMOs. Given that IMOs are pieces of paper with printed writing on them which the bank sell for £8 each, I'm sure it can't be a case of them not being able to afford more with the profits they make (given that they also employ as few people as possible to keep their profits up). They'll have some more IMOs 'soon'. Whether that means tomorrow, next week, next month or next year I don't know. But you'd think they'd order more IMOs when they're running low on them, not wait until after they've run out.
by Stormsworder November 16, 2006
Get the bankmug. Person from the East End of London. Supposedly 'born with the sound of bow-bells'. When I used to live in Houghton Regis there were some next door, and they talked and acted nothing like the ones in Eastenders (most of whom are posh actors trying to sound working class). And let's be honest, a lot of TV producers are lovies and darlings who seem to think working class people (especially cockneys) are automatically criminals. Alright, I'm sure there are criminals in the East End. But thanks to a succession of useless, soft-head, corrupt UK governments, there are bloody villains everywhere you go in Britain. Counties around the south of England tend of be full of 'mockneys' - total arseholes who think putting on a fake cockney accent makes them sound hard (but don't tell their mummies).
Mo Slater has stolen a baby's cot and is now selling it like the heartless criminal she is. Egads! You nasty evil cockney!
Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.
Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.
by StormSworder August 11, 2006
Get the cockneymug. 1: A main road. When it goes through the countryside, it is often lined the various dead animals. I recently saw a badger lying there inert.
2: A lamp post made by Concrete Utilities in the sixties. Later replaced by the Highway X, which had a slimmer, rounder-shaped base to its column and therefore took up less room on the pavement.
2: A lamp post made by Concrete Utilities in the sixties. Later replaced by the Highway X, which had a slimmer, rounder-shaped base to its column and therefore took up less room on the pavement.
Mrs Ford: Had a good day, Jim?
Mr Ford (who has just arrived home): I was driving along the highway at a steady 50 mph when this stupid toffee-nosed arsehole came tearing along at about 80 or 90, practically rammed my backside for a mile and a half, hooting his horn all the time. When he overtook, he shouted something I couldn't quite understand due to the fact he spoke as though he had his bollocks in his mouth. I naturally did the sensible thing - gave him the finger and told him to f*** off.
Mrs Ford: That's nice, dear.
Mr Ford (who has just arrived home): I was driving along the highway at a steady 50 mph when this stupid toffee-nosed arsehole came tearing along at about 80 or 90, practically rammed my backside for a mile and a half, hooting his horn all the time. When he overtook, he shouted something I couldn't quite understand due to the fact he spoke as though he had his bollocks in his mouth. I naturally did the sensible thing - gave him the finger and told him to f*** off.
Mrs Ford: That's nice, dear.
by StormSworder August 16, 2006
Get the highwaymug. George W Bush is a man who has made more false claims about his past than Jeffrey Archer. When he was governer of Texas he sent the state police out to arrest peaceful demonstrators. His company 'quietly' bought up over 200 anti-Bush Internet domain names. He has given large amounts of state money to repay certain people for contributing large amounts of cash to his campaign and to repay others for making him personally rich through insider business deals. He made personal profits from failing oil companies, sold 60% of his oil stock for over $840,000 two months before Kuwait was invaded (how very well timed!) and he used government coercion to make him a private fortune. He and his lapdog Blair have between them brought us to the brink of global war, have taken away rights in the name of anti-terrorism whilst doing nothing about the real terrorists. After the capture of Saddam (whose trial is a ridiculous farce, with the ex-dictator running rings around everyone), it's now been realised that Saddam was the only thing keeping Iran in check. Let's be honest, the only mistake Saddam made was invading a country which supplied America with cheap oil. Our 'allies' in the Gulf Wars themselves have terrible human rights records and have invaded other countries. Every time Bush opens his mouth I wonder what half-educated Stan Laurel-type blitherings are going to come out of it next. George W Bush is the final proof, if any were needed, that the world is run by big business and not politicians, and big businessmen don't want anyone with an IQ in power in case he starts thinking for himself.
George Bush: "People misunderestimate me".
"More and more of our imports are coming from a abroad"
"That was the most logical and common sensical thing to do"
"More and more of our imports are coming from a abroad"
"That was the most logical and common sensical thing to do"
by StormSworder August 13, 2006
Get the George Bushmug. To quote a Star Wars character, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Originally designed to unite Europe, this organisation has mutated into a corrupt gang of power-hungry, democracy-hating con-artists who want to live like princes and be accountable to no-one. They employ people like Lord Neil Kinnock (so-called socialist who lost two elections in a row), and Norman Lamont (useless chancellor who sunk the UK into recession). Now they have complete control over the UK (thanks to our treacherous selfish government who know a gravy train when they see one) they'll be accomplishing what a certain Austrian painter set out to do seventy years ago.
Hitler: "Damn and blast! Why didn't I just wait until the forming of the European Union! I could be ruling england and all of Europe by now!"
by Stormsworder October 16, 2008
Get the European Unionmug.