michael howard

A politician in the UK's Conservative party. When he was Home Secretary he was frowned on for locking a lot of people up. However, when the Blair governmnent released them all again, people realised maybe the general public were safer whilst violent criminals were behind bars. Howard was the victim of the lookist spin-doctor culture who used the "something of the night about him" comment to great effect. He became leader of the opposition when the Tories suddenly realised they had forgotten to elect a new leader after their 2001 defeat, and lasted almonst a fortnight (which is quite good by modern Tory standards).
"Why would anyone bother boting for Michael Howard the vampire? We've already got the New Labour bloodsuckers, after all".
by Stormsworder October 20, 2007
mugGet the michael howardmug.

cockney

Person from the East End of London. Supposedly 'born with the sound of bow-bells'. When I used to live in Houghton Regis there were some next door, and they talked and acted nothing like the ones in Eastenders (most of whom are posh actors trying to sound working class). And let's be honest, a lot of TV producers are lovies and darlings who seem to think working class people (especially cockneys) are automatically criminals. Alright, I'm sure there are criminals in the East End. But thanks to a succession of useless, soft-head, corrupt UK governments, there are bloody villains everywhere you go in Britain. Counties around the south of England tend of be full of 'mockneys' - total arseholes who think putting on a fake cockney accent makes them sound hard (but don't tell their mummies).
Mo Slater has stolen a baby's cot and is now selling it like the heartless criminal she is. Egads! You nasty evil cockney!

Oh, go smell the coffee, BBC.
by StormSworder August 11, 2006
mugGet the cockneymug.

George Bush

George W Bush is a man who has made more false claims about his past than Jeffrey Archer. When he was governer of Texas he sent the state police out to arrest peaceful demonstrators. His company 'quietly' bought up over 200 anti-Bush Internet domain names. He has given large amounts of state money to repay certain people for contributing large amounts of cash to his campaign and to repay others for making him personally rich through insider business deals. He made personal profits from failing oil companies, sold 60% of his oil stock for over $840,000 two months before Kuwait was invaded (how very well timed!) and he used government coercion to make him a private fortune. He and his lapdog Blair have between them brought us to the brink of global war, have taken away rights in the name of anti-terrorism whilst doing nothing about the real terrorists. After the capture of Saddam (whose trial is a ridiculous farce, with the ex-dictator running rings around everyone), it's now been realised that Saddam was the only thing keeping Iran in check. Let's be honest, the only mistake Saddam made was invading a country which supplied America with cheap oil. Our 'allies' in the Gulf Wars themselves have terrible human rights records and have invaded other countries. Every time Bush opens his mouth I wonder what half-educated Stan Laurel-type blitherings are going to come out of it next. George W Bush is the final proof, if any were needed, that the world is run by big business and not politicians, and big businessmen don't want anyone with an IQ in power in case he starts thinking for himself.
George Bush: "People misunderestimate me".
"More and more of our imports are coming from a abroad"
"That was the most logical and common sensical thing to do"
by StormSworder August 13, 2006
mugGet the George Bushmug.

scum

A sub-species which is becoming all too common in the UK thanks to the dumbing down of the education system and the fact that the police spend their time either filling in paperwork or going after motorists. Examples of scum can be found everywhere, from the highest to the lowest parts of society. Politicians, big businessmen and the like are more corrupt and self-serving than ever. In the town where I live, psychiatrists have walked away from causing serious head injuries and from telling their patients they're possessed by ghosts. Meanwhile, it is dangerous to go out onto the streets after dark in many towns or cities. This is mainly due to brain-dead head-bangers who patrol the streets looking for prey, doing in gangs or or in pairs what they wouldn't have the guts to do on their own. Most people grow out of schoolboy-type behaviour, but there is a certain breed who seem unable to do so. They remain as yobs well into late middle-age and beyond. Indeed, I was minding my own business when someone started hooting their car-horn at me. When I gave them the finger, they stopped their car (at a crossroad, causing a hold-up). I was then threatened by some fat old git in dungarees. When I failed to be scared by his threat, he threatened me again but this time added an 'f-word', as though that made him sound scarier or more grown-up. I still failed to be scared, and he gave up and went on his way. People like this deserve only pity. And that's another thing. Scum of all ages seem to think swearing is both grown-up and the height of comedy. Their world-beaters are all over public toilet walls, galvanised-metal lamp posts and the like. They also shout things from cars as they drive by, big brave men that they are. Their girlfriends are usually brainless bimbos who think crime is glamorous and are turned on by thuggish behaviour.
New Labour are going to start coming down hard on scum. They're going to get women in black leather to come to parliament and give all the NL MPs a good spanking.
by Stormsworder October 25, 2006
mugGet the scummug.

European Union

To quote a Star Wars character, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Originally designed to unite Europe, this organisation has mutated into a corrupt gang of power-hungry, democracy-hating con-artists who want to live like princes and be accountable to no-one. They employ people like Lord Neil Kinnock (so-called socialist who lost two elections in a row), and Norman Lamont (useless chancellor who sunk the UK into recession). Now they have complete control over the UK (thanks to our treacherous selfish government who know a gravy train when they see one) they'll be accomplishing what a certain Austrian painter set out to do seventy years ago.
Hitler: "Damn and blast! Why didn't I just wait until the forming of the European Union! I could be ruling england and all of Europe by now!"
by Stormsworder October 16, 2008
mugGet the European Unionmug.

highway

1: A main road. When it goes through the countryside, it is often lined the various dead animals. I recently saw a badger lying there inert.

2: A lamp post made by Concrete Utilities in the sixties. Later replaced by the Highway X, which had a slimmer, rounder-shaped base to its column and therefore took up less room on the pavement.
Mrs Ford: Had a good day, Jim?
Mr Ford (who has just arrived home): I was driving along the highway at a steady 50 mph when this stupid toffee-nosed arsehole came tearing along at about 80 or 90, practically rammed my backside for a mile and a half, hooting his horn all the time. When he overtook, he shouted something I couldn't quite understand due to the fact he spoke as though he had his bollocks in his mouth. I naturally did the sensible thing - gave him the finger and told him to f*** off.
Mrs Ford: That's nice, dear.
by StormSworder August 16, 2006
mugGet the highwaymug.

isle of wight

An island off the south coast of England, the Isle of Wight is a land of beauty. It has a lot of nice seaside towns and they all have attractions. Some people equate it with being in England in the 1950s, but there's nothing wrong with that surely.
On the Isle of Wight there is a museum containing the skeleton of a Finback Whale (the second largest after the Blue Whale) which was washed up some years ago near The Needles.
by Stormsworder December 7, 2006
mugGet the isle of wightmug.

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