Finlay McLachlan, also known as ‘Seal’, is a morbidly obese
man who has been sighted around the Garstang and Inskip area molesting local
dogs, leaving them completely paralised in the back legs.
He is also renoun for singing ‘
War’ by Edwin Starr preventing the great
war of Garstang and Inskip in 1736.
Finlay was famous, making local headlines after destroying several local
dry cleaners with his shit-soaked cargo shorts, destroying them in a temper tantrum after the workers refused to handle the diarrhoea drenched clothing.