D-town East is the rival school of Downingtown West. For the most part East is dominant at sports, however certain sports (boys
basketball) are known to absolutely suck. Every social
clique imaginable can be found at East. The largest cliques are the arrogant wannabe pimps, the future prostitutes, and the "gangstas". Close to 90 percent of all the female students at East choose to shit all over the dress code (much to the approval of the arrogant wannabe pimps). The gangsta wannabes are renowned for blocking the hallways outside the cafeteria and for lingering outside the back entrances. Outside the school, East is famous for a number of reasons: a principal with a ponytail, numerous
bomb threats, a
guy who wears a
kilt, an incredible football
game, and a penis that was once bleached onto the field. To the small population of East students who strive to be average, I congratulate you.
Downingtown East Campus Stats:
60% of all male students believe they are hot shit, and consider themselves true ladies-men.
Of those 60%, 3% actually are hot shit and are true ladies-men. Those 3% will probably do something with their lives (i.e. play professional sports or generally be successful).
The remaining 57% will probably show up at their ten-year high school reunion asking for/stealing spare
change.
90% of all female students at East resemble plastic figurines that have been left in the microwave for too
long.
Of those 90%, 55% are members of the 2011 senior class, 40% belong to the
2012 class, 3.5% belong to the 2013 class, and the remaining 1.5% (which will increase dramatically by 2011 according to a 2009
study) belong to the current freshman class (2014).
Of the 40% of the male students who do not consider themselves superior to all other humans, 20% are drug addicts and alcoholics who either:
A)
Hate themselves too much to be arrogant
B) Generally don't care about their social status
or C) Too
drunk/
high/other to notice everybody hates them.
Half of the remaining 20% are your typical
normal high school
guy. Average or somewhat above average at everything.
The remaining 10% are the AP kids. Though most are terribly arrogant, virtually none consider themselves the greatest thing to ever happen in the
history of mankind.
