"I'm not fat because of my diet, it's them obesogens."

Oct. 31st-
"The hell was that noise? Oh god! It's just Donnette doing a hand stand whilst laughing!"

I don't need a job, my income is MOB.

I was lmfco when the cop on South Park shat jizz after being gangbanged at a frat party!

Hey John it's a bit windy in here... No bro, that's just the vortex from my Testicopter.

Scenario 1:
Randomer: Dude!! wanna hit timmy h's?!
Normal Human Being: FUCK NO!! I love my life. I am too young to die.
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Scenario 2:
Fucktard: mmm Tim Hortons is the best!
-The next day Fucktard has to skip school due to a severe case of explosive diarrhea-
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Scenario 3:
Customer: EXCUSE ME!! can I get my order now?! I've being studying the wall paper for the past five minutes. I have memorized the pattern.
Employee: Justa minute justa minute!
Customer: You've been saying that for the past half hour!!
-walks away angrily-

On the 3rd day after Wednesday, Shad Gaspard's resurrection from the dead took place. He was almost like a thief in the night in his most recent incarnation (the one before the resurrection).